Never Saw It Coming
first person flash fiction31 total reviews
Comment from wilkswrites
I read your short stories with wide eyes sitting on the edge of my chair. You did a fabulous job of telling the story so clearly that I felt as if I were watching it on television. WOW! That was awesome. I sure hope there is more to come. Great job.
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2022
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I read your short stories with wide eyes sitting on the edge of my chair. You did a fabulous job of telling the story so clearly that I felt as if I were watching it on television. WOW! That was awesome. I sure hope there is more to come. Great job.
Comment Written 27-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2022
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Love this review. Many thanks. GMG
Comment from C.J.1
Well-written story. You make some good points, and the story makes you think. I can only imagine the fear, desperation, and anxiety that these people must have felt realizing this was much bigger than them.
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2022
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Well-written story. You make some good points, and the story makes you think. I can only imagine the fear, desperation, and anxiety that these people must have felt realizing this was much bigger than them.
Comment Written 18-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2022
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Many thanks for checking this one out.
Comment from dmt1967
This is another great story but very dark. Each word drew me into the story and I was captivated by the way it was written. I enjoyed reading this one a lot. Thank you for sharing and take care.
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2022
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This is another great story but very dark. Each word drew me into the story and I was captivated by the way it was written. I enjoyed reading this one a lot. Thank you for sharing and take care.
Comment Written 18-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2022
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Yep, I used to write a lot of dark stuff. It just depends where the mood takes me! lol Many thanks for the great response. G
Comment from humpwhistle
Outstanding, G. And I'm almost certain this is the way it will happen, at least in part. I remember the days of backyard bomb shelters, and the dire discussions about how those who had prepared would be forced to defend themselves against panic-stricken neighbors demanding 'in'.
I'm afraid the ball has already dropped. Now it's rolling, gaining momentum. Is there any stopping it?
Two minor nits. First, you use 'inviting' and, later, 'invitations'. In so short a piece, so well-written, this repetition stands out.
We watched in horror and then that was when the realisation set in.--You might consider breaking this into two sentences. 'and then' can be discarded. Just a suggestion.
Peace, Lee
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2022
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Outstanding, G. And I'm almost certain this is the way it will happen, at least in part. I remember the days of backyard bomb shelters, and the dire discussions about how those who had prepared would be forced to defend themselves against panic-stricken neighbors demanding 'in'.
I'm afraid the ball has already dropped. Now it's rolling, gaining momentum. Is there any stopping it?
Two minor nits. First, you use 'inviting' and, later, 'invitations'. In so short a piece, so well-written, this repetition stands out.
We watched in horror and then that was when the realisation set in.--You might consider breaking this into two sentences. 'and then' can be discarded. Just a suggestion.
Peace, Lee
Comment Written 17-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2022
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Many thanks, Lee. I'll have a look at those spots you mentioned. Always appreciated. G
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I read this when you posted it and waited to give it the well deserved six. This is exceptional writing, Gareth, and could be so true. I loved the way you told the story, but it's scary that you could be telling us something that will happen one day. Everyone is either stuck in they iPads, laptops, or phones, they don't know what is happening in the real world any more. When they do wake up, it might just be too late. Well done, this is a look into the future, and very well thought out. :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2022
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I read this when you posted it and waited to give it the well deserved six. This is exceptional writing, Gareth, and could be so true. I loved the way you told the story, but it's scary that you could be telling us something that will happen one day. Everyone is either stuck in they iPads, laptops, or phones, they don't know what is happening in the real world any more. When they do wake up, it might just be too late. Well done, this is a look into the future, and very well thought out. :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 16-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2022
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many thanks for the great response, Sandra. It may not be too far off the mark but let's hope it's not too soon. G
Comment from LJbutterfly
This story is imaginative but scary. You put the reader at ease when you described the lawlessness of the people in the town, but also said, "We had plenty of ammunition and enough food to last out for a couple of years." It's interesting that the protagonist's group was not defeated by the enemy. It was the unexpected earth that cracked open to eventually destroy them, against which they had no defense. I repeat...imaginative.
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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This story is imaginative but scary. You put the reader at ease when you described the lawlessness of the people in the town, but also said, "We had plenty of ammunition and enough food to last out for a couple of years." It's interesting that the protagonist's group was not defeated by the enemy. It was the unexpected earth that cracked open to eventually destroy them, against which they had no defense. I repeat...imaginative.
Comment Written 15-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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No one truly knows what will come next. We survive one thing after another but in the end...
Much appreciated GMG
Comment from Ulla
Well, well, well, Gareth, here comes dooms day if I've ever seen one. A great concept you're painting in this work, and rather bleak as well, I have to say. I would like if it never came to this. I still live in hope. Ulla,:)))
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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Well, well, well, Gareth, here comes dooms day if I've ever seen one. A great concept you're painting in this work, and rather bleak as well, I have to say. I would like if it never came to this. I still live in hope. Ulla,:)))
Comment Written 15-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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Many thanks, Ulla. always appreciated. G
Comment from Terry Broxson
Interesting work of fiction about the end of days. It is very creative that you took the perspective of a doomsday cult. When their worst fear came to pass, they couldn't do anything about it. And so, it goes. Good work.
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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Interesting work of fiction about the end of days. It is very creative that you took the perspective of a doomsday cult. When their worst fear came to pass, they couldn't do anything about it. And so, it goes. Good work.
Comment Written 15-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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Many thanks, my friend. GMG
Comment from Jesse James Doty
Wow, this is exceptional writing and it could happen just as you say in this well-written futuristic scene of what would happen if the world came to an end. You sound like you are coming from the survivalist's viewpoint. I know several who are trained and ready at a moment's notice to go out in the hills and stand sentry duty. This is a spell-binding plot twister story that should be published.
Thank you for this entertaining as well as scary story of what might happen and happen soon!
Take good care of yourself and the others around you who mean something to you.
Jesse
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2022
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Wow, this is exceptional writing and it could happen just as you say in this well-written futuristic scene of what would happen if the world came to an end. You sound like you are coming from the survivalist's viewpoint. I know several who are trained and ready at a moment's notice to go out in the hills and stand sentry duty. This is a spell-binding plot twister story that should be published.
Thank you for this entertaining as well as scary story of what might happen and happen soon!
Take good care of yourself and the others around you who mean something to you.
Jesse
Comment Written 15-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2022
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I reckon a lot of the survivalist groups have the right idea, but how long they'd last is anyone's guess and would you really want to? Much appreciated. G
Comment from Begin Again
Wow! It's written perfectly, unfolding step by step in the readers mind, only to discover none of it makes a difference because in the end, when it is time for our world to cease existence, it will not be our choice but his.
Hugs, Carol
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2022
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Wow! It's written perfectly, unfolding step by step in the readers mind, only to discover none of it makes a difference because in the end, when it is time for our world to cease existence, it will not be our choice but his.
Hugs, Carol
Comment Written 15-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2022
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Many thanks for checking this one out. G
