The Ghosts of All Evil Things
what happens when the ghost sees YOU?12 total reviews
Comment from Mary Shifman
Hi Debbie. I don't know if you've been away or I just haven't seen your posts lately. It's good to catch up with you again. I like your story. It hooked me at the start and kept my attention. I think this is a good beginning. Good luck in the contest,
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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Hi Debbie. I don't know if you've been away or I just haven't seen your posts lately. It's good to catch up with you again. I like your story. It hooked me at the start and kept my attention. I think this is a good beginning. Good luck in the contest,
Comment Written 15-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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Thank you, Mary! I've been away -- work calls. lol. I"m nearly done illustrating two book, one for a non-profit out of Florida and one for Sandra Mitchell from here on FS. But I need to get writing again!
Thanks for the encouragment. It's always appreciated. :)
Blessings,
Deb
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You're very welcome. I've missed you.
Comment from sherrygreywolf
Horribly and yet awesome tale. Saw a couple of things that you need to correct but nothing to keep me from being an intriguing read.
Remove the bracket from after the word 'and' in "But kids love to embarrass their parents and[ they love to make their parents laugh."
I'm assuming you meant to create the word 'projectiled' but you still need to correct the spelling of 'disgusting' in this sentence -
"She shook her head, dazed, and stared down at what had projectiled from her stomach, now lying in a sisgusting puddle on the asphalt."
Have a great weekend!
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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Horribly and yet awesome tale. Saw a couple of things that you need to correct but nothing to keep me from being an intriguing read.
Remove the bracket from after the word 'and' in "But kids love to embarrass their parents and[ they love to make their parents laugh."
I'm assuming you meant to create the word 'projectiled' but you still need to correct the spelling of 'disgusting' in this sentence -
"She shook her head, dazed, and stared down at what had projectiled from her stomach, now lying in a sisgusting puddle on the asphalt."
Have a great weekend!
Comment Written 15-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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HEy, sis.
I fixed the errors and so appreciate the keen eye. I still haven't had a minute to read yours, although I did look at the pic. YOU DID GREAT! There's no way to tell it's from four sites or that it's a compilation.
I'm hoping to finish the illustration job today (finally) and have a few minutes to read. YOu're at the top of the list.
Blessings and love,
Deb
Comment from AJ McCall
WOW. Deb! This is an amazing STORY!!! You should definitely continue to expand on this. And I can't believe I missed the contest deadline. Dang! Now, you're gonna win, lol!
This is a new 'voice' your starting with? I'd say you've used to it before because that's it sounded when I read it. IT WORKS GREAT DEB!!
You gotta a killer book on your hands!
(I'm pretty sure you noticed you got a couple of errors in the beginning because of the formatting so I'd suggest you go back and look at that when you can.)
But I hope you WIN! SIX STARS!!!
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2022
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WOW. Deb! This is an amazing STORY!!! You should definitely continue to expand on this. And I can't believe I missed the contest deadline. Dang! Now, you're gonna win, lol!
This is a new 'voice' your starting with? I'd say you've used to it before because that's it sounded when I read it. IT WORKS GREAT DEB!!
You gotta a killer book on your hands!
(I'm pretty sure you noticed you got a couple of errors in the beginning because of the formatting so I'd suggest you go back and look at that when you can.)
But I hope you WIN! SIX STARS!!!
Comment Written 14-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2022
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lol. Thank you for that enthusiastic exceptional rating, Asha!
I fixed the formatting errors (I hope - I can never tell if it's quite right or not. Blind people... Whatcha gonna do with them... lol)
I like this one, too. I hope to finishe it this year. I think I'm going to kick a love novel I planned to write off the list and ut this one on. After all, who needs another love story. lol. But since I'm basing it on one of my best friend's experiences (two guys combined into one) I need to follow through... Next year! :)
Thanks again. I stand a chance if you missed the deadline! Thanks for that. Tell you what. If I ever get to your side of the state and I DO win, I'll take you out for a tea. :)
Blessings!
Deb
Quick prayers: I'm starting a writer's group here in Bwood and want to honor God with the way I run it. We are calling it Cre8ive Pen.
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You aren't that blind, Deb, lol. You're welcome! And I think that's a smart choice; love stories will never go out of style so you leave that one aside. Tea? I'm more of a smoothie, iced drink type of girl. But if it's ice tea, then I'll definitely accept the invitation. And I'll keep you and your idea in prayer. I love that pun in the title!!!
Comment from BethShelby
This is a unique approach to humor as it also includes some graphic images that leans toward horror. The voice is like that of a child describing their life with parents who are doctors. I did get some laughs particularly when she described her father's profession. This is a light-hearted approach to death with the ghosts being active and interesting as they interact with people and vehicles. I think it could be a novel people would read for the humor as well as the storyline. Good luck with the first chapter contest.
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2022
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This is a unique approach to humor as it also includes some graphic images that leans toward horror. The voice is like that of a child describing their life with parents who are doctors. I did get some laughs particularly when she described her father's profession. This is a light-hearted approach to death with the ghosts being active and interesting as they interact with people and vehicles. I think it could be a novel people would read for the humor as well as the storyline. Good luck with the first chapter contest.
Comment Written 14-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2022
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Thank you, Beth! I appreciate your comments and rating. It was fun to write. :)
Blessings,
Deb
Comment from royowen
This is a lot different from the ghost stories that I've read before, so well done it's certainly a great and original in it's from. Of course I've never seen a ghost, or any evidence , concrete that there are any at all. I loved this as seen through the eyes of a self possessed child. Well done, Deb, good luck, maybe a book? Blessings Roy
Typo :But I'd on(e)ly seen
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2022
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This is a lot different from the ghost stories that I've read before, so well done it's certainly a great and original in it's from. Of course I've never seen a ghost, or any evidence , concrete that there are any at all. I loved this as seen through the eyes of a self possessed child. Well done, Deb, good luck, maybe a book? Blessings Roy
Typo :But I'd on(e)ly seen
Comment Written 14-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2022
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Hi Roy ~ Thanks for catching that typo. It seems my fingers have a mind of their own sometimes. I don't know if they get ahdead of the brain or fall behind, but I appreciate your sharp eye, either way. :)
I don't believe in ghosts per se, either. I do believe in demons, though. And that might give you a hint of where this is going. four missing souls aren't missing - just home where they belong. I'm going to carry the humor through because that's how my MC sees the world, but it gets pretty dark and doesn't end super well for our girl. But that's now... I always hate leaving my characters in a lurch. lol.
Anyhow, blessings!
Deb
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Of you don?t I believe the same, but it?s a story, ghosts or no, beautifully written dear girl,
Comment from lyenochka
Oh, this seems like another kids' zombie book? I could tell immediately that the narrator is a kid and I enjoyed the sense of humor between what the kid knows and can't quite say in grownup terms. Best wishes in the contest!
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2022
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Oh, this seems like another kids' zombie book? I could tell immediately that the narrator is a kid and I enjoyed the sense of humor between what the kid knows and can't quite say in grownup terms. Best wishes in the contest!
Comment Written 14-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2022
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Thank you, Helen. I'm still working out all the details, but it's pretty dark in my mind right now. We'll see... :)
Blessings,
Deb
Comment from Cindy Warren
I'd like to read more. Where are the missing ghosts? Are some of the living possessed? Can the kid tell if they are? I hope you will decide to continue when you have time. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2022
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I'd like to read more. Where are the missing ghosts? Are some of the living possessed? Can the kid tell if they are? I hope you will decide to continue when you have time. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 13-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2022
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Thank you, Cindy. It's encouraging to know you'd like to read more. I may schedule this one in...
Blessings and may thanks,
Deb
Comment from Eunice Amero
I'd (onely) seen her Just a little mistake. We all are getting old. There isn't one who isn't. But your story was interested. It would had been interesting to know where the 4 kids went. Keep up the good work. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2022
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I'd (onely) seen her Just a little mistake. We all are getting old. There isn't one who isn't. But your story was interested. It would had been interesting to know where the 4 kids went. Keep up the good work. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 13-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2022
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Thank you for finding that error, Eunice! My fingers don't always keep up with my brain... Or vice versa. lol. And thank you for the exceptional rating. I'm honored.
I'm going to try to put this into my writing schedule for the year. I have several already in line, but most are picture books, so a novel would be nice to break up the routine. And you have spurred me to do that so thank you for that, too! :)
Blessings,
Deb
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You are very welcome
Comment from Melodie Michelle
Excellent story my friend! Except that it was single spaced then double spaced? It should be single spaced between lines and double spaced between paragraphs!
Let me know if you change it and I will change my rating;-)
Thank you so much for sharing and many blessings to you and your family this New Year!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2022
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Excellent story my friend! Except that it was single spaced then double spaced? It should be single spaced between lines and double spaced between paragraphs!
Let me know if you change it and I will change my rating;-)
Thank you so much for sharing and many blessings to you and your family this New Year!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2022
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Thank you for finding that, Melodie. I"m not sure if it was evil Eddie(editor) or vision impairment, but I'm going with Evil Eddie because that way it's not my fault! lol.
I'll fix that right after I walk the dog. Yes, my life IS that exciting. :)
Blessings and than you for an honest review -- always much appreciated.
Blessings,
Deb
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My life is the same! I love it!
Comment from T B Botts
Hello Debora,
I really enjoyed your story. I assume you will go through and correct any issues with the format. I see that you started off single line and then went to double spacing. You've told a very interesting story and it leaves me wondering about those four missing ghosts. Also, did the lady become possessed with the ghost of the bus driver? Well done gal.
Have a blessed evening.
Tom
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2022
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Hello Debora,
I really enjoyed your story. I assume you will go through and correct any issues with the format. I see that you started off single line and then went to double spacing. You've told a very interesting story and it leaves me wondering about those four missing ghosts. Also, did the lady become possessed with the ghost of the bus driver? Well done gal.
Have a blessed evening.
Tom
Comment Written 13-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2022
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Thank you, Tom. I was unaware of the formatting issues (a vision impairment often keeps me from the obvious... lol)
The woman is not posessed... Yet. But yes, that's the direction it will go. And, as a Christian writer, I often weave my faith into my storyline. The four 'missing' ghosts just had a different destination. :)
Thanks for catching that formatting issue. I'll fix it in the AM. :)
Blessings to you, sir.
Deb
