Tin Stars and Yankee Gold
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Tin Stars and Yankee Gold"The exploits of Civil War veterans turned outlaw
30 total reviews
Comment from Ulla
It's a very interesting new chapter to your new book. As it is less than 2000 words, which is required for the contest, it won't be considered. But I liked it, all the same. It's well written. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2022
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It's a very interesting new chapter to your new book. As it is less than 2000 words, which is required for the contest, it won't be considered. But I liked it, all the same. It's well written. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 14-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2022
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Thank you very much Ulla. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my new book.
Comment from The Journaler
This looks like it will be a great book. I like the way you are building your characters. It seems funny to me that that area would be thought of as west! Now we wait to see what happens to your characters as they return to civilian life. Well written and moves along quickly. A good read!
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2022
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This looks like it will be a great book. I like the way you are building your characters. It seems funny to me that that area would be thought of as west! Now we wait to see what happens to your characters as they return to civilian life. Well written and moves along quickly. A good read!
Comment Written 14-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2022
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They're heading West. Wait for the next installment and the real fun begins. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my book.
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Ah ha! I will look for it.
Comment from Versch
This is quite an interesting first chapter. It has an element of suspense when Mosby said that they are not surrendering, while the rest of the army are. This sounds like a good plot. I like the way the dialogues are written, showing the accent through misspelled word and missing letters. Sound realistic! Very cleverly done. Good luck! Ver
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2022
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This is quite an interesting first chapter. It has an element of suspense when Mosby said that they are not surrendering, while the rest of the army are. This sounds like a good plot. I like the way the dialogues are written, showing the accent through misspelled word and missing letters. Sound realistic! Very cleverly done. Good luck! Ver
Comment Written 14-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2022
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Thank you very much Ver. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my book.
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
I think you might want to recheck the rules for this competition. There is a minimum word count of 2000 words and this is just over 1000. You'll need to pad it out or it will be disqualified. As it's a site competition they won't notify you or give you an opportunity to rectify it.
I've only reviewed in the context of the competition, hence the rating.
All the best
G
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2022
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Hi there,
I think you might want to recheck the rules for this competition. There is a minimum word count of 2000 words and this is just over 1000. You'll need to pad it out or it will be disqualified. As it's a site competition they won't notify you or give you an opportunity to rectify it.
I've only reviewed in the context of the competition, hence the rating.
All the best
G
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2022
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I didn't see the minimum word count, we''ll see how it shakes out. If they disqualify me it was a free contest so I'm not out any writer bucks. Other than that how was the content?
Comment from lyenochka
Wow! Interesting Historical Fiction, Earl. Virtual six!
I don't know the players of the Civil War history but you seem to know the details. It's a great idea to use the letter and even a personal letter. I also like Mosby's personal care for others like the meal for the messenger and the final drink and pay to Tyler and Ford. This kind of book is important because it goes beyond the Good Guys and Bad Guys from a superficial view of history but that there were real people involved.
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2022
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Wow! Interesting Historical Fiction, Earl. Virtual six!
I don't know the players of the Civil War history but you seem to know the details. It's a great idea to use the letter and even a personal letter. I also like Mosby's personal care for others like the meal for the messenger and the final drink and pay to Tyler and Ford. This kind of book is important because it goes beyond the Good Guys and Bad Guys from a superficial view of history but that there were real people involved.
Comment Written 14-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2022
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Thank you very much, that's a high compliment coming from you. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my new book.
Comment from royowen
I remember Appomattox really, at least the part were General Lee surrender to general Grant. It was inhabited by actors who played their roles well. Thank you for reminding me of this occasion. It was a privilege, we saw a lot of the main war sites, including Williamsburg, the thing that impressed was Grant pardoned the southern army, with documentation to save them from receiving some sort of revenge on the way home. Beautifully written Earl, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2022
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I remember Appomattox really, at least the part were General Lee surrender to general Grant. It was inhabited by actors who played their roles well. Thank you for reminding me of this occasion. It was a privilege, we saw a lot of the main war sites, including Williamsburg, the thing that impressed was Grant pardoned the southern army, with documentation to save them from receiving some sort of revenge on the way home. Beautifully written Earl, blessings Roy
Comment Written 13-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2022
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Thank you very much Roy, that's a high compliment coming from you. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my new book.
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Well done
Comment from Terry Broxson
This is a good entry for this contest, good luck. I like historical fiction, and I do like the cast of characters you have introduced. They are mustering out with some Yankee cash and Napoleon brandy, that is not a bad thing. Good job.
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2022
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This is a good entry for this contest, good luck. I like historical fiction, and I do like the cast of characters you have introduced. They are mustering out with some Yankee cash and Napoleon brandy, that is not a bad thing. Good job.
Comment Written 13-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2022
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Thank you very much. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my new book.
Comment from GeraldShuler
This wasn't like reading a book. It was more like watching a movie in my mind. Your words are very effective and you have placed the reader squarely into the character's life. My favorite line is "I was saving this to toast our final victory, but it looks like survival is all the victory we're gonna get," Congrats on great work.
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2022
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This wasn't like reading a book. It was more like watching a movie in my mind. Your words are very effective and you have placed the reader squarely into the character's life. My favorite line is "I was saving this to toast our final victory, but it looks like survival is all the victory we're gonna get," Congrats on great work.
Comment Written 13-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2022
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Thank you very much. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my new book.
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Good writing. I haven't figured out yet whether Mosby is a crook, an opportunist, or a patriot.
I would check with an authority, but you have a practice of joining two complete sentences with a comma. They would stand alone fine.
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2022
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Good writing. I haven't figured out yet whether Mosby is a crook, an opportunist, or a patriot.
I would check with an authority, but you have a practice of joining two complete sentences with a comma. They would stand alone fine.
Comment Written 13-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2022
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Thank you very much. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my new book.
Comment from robyn corum
Earl,
I did not know you had completed the OTHER book! Or are you planning to work on both at the same time? If so... DUDE! hahaha I can't even get ONE of my books going again at the moment. --sigh-- You make me sad... But PROUD, too!!! Go get'em, my friend!!! hahaha
Some notes, if I may:
1.) with straw-colored hair, in a butternut-(hued) shirt stepped in and saluted.
--> to avoid 'colored' x2
2.) "Gen'rul Lee's compliments, Suh(.)" (H)e fished in his pouch
--> not a speech tag
3.) "Lieutenant Myers!"
"Yes Suh.(")
"Would you please
4.) "You're very welcome son," the further asked,
--> needs some editing
5.) You need to go over this piece again very slowly for more general editing. I noticed a few places where the punctuation was moved or where things were a little questionable. All things that you know how to fix and no need for me to explain. hahaha
6.) Though many try - few succeed. I thought YOU did a wonderful job finding the pulse of the dialect here. Nice!
Thanks - I think this is a great entry and I wish you oodles of luck!
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2022
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Earl,
I did not know you had completed the OTHER book! Or are you planning to work on both at the same time? If so... DUDE! hahaha I can't even get ONE of my books going again at the moment. --sigh-- You make me sad... But PROUD, too!!! Go get'em, my friend!!! hahaha
Some notes, if I may:
1.) with straw-colored hair, in a butternut-(hued) shirt stepped in and saluted.
--> to avoid 'colored' x2
2.) "Gen'rul Lee's compliments, Suh(.)" (H)e fished in his pouch
--> not a speech tag
3.) "Lieutenant Myers!"
"Yes Suh.(")
"Would you please
4.) "You're very welcome son," the further asked,
--> needs some editing
5.) You need to go over this piece again very slowly for more general editing. I noticed a few places where the punctuation was moved or where things were a little questionable. All things that you know how to fix and no need for me to explain. hahaha
6.) Though many try - few succeed. I thought YOU did a wonderful job finding the pulse of the dialect here. Nice!
Thanks - I think this is a great entry and I wish you oodles of luck!
Comment Written 13-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2022
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Thank you Robyn. No, I haven't finished the other book. I thought I would when I entered the contest in June, but life got in the way. Luckily I had written this book out long hand when I was recuperaing from having my hips replaced 6 years ago. The hardest thing was having to type it. I'll probably have this one completed on here before Wilderness Redemption Road. I toyed with renaming the main character to be the grandson of Doo in my other book to make it a prequal to this one. I appreciate the editing tips. It's times like these I miss Mastery, Bob was kind of my mentor on here and helped me out a lot. Keep plugging away, you'll get there.
