Melancholy's Edge
A sonnet27 total reviews
Comment from judiverse
The gal in poem will have to read this. It will give her hope so she'll be basking in the sun instead of teetering on the edge. Amazing that we came up with a similar idea! Excellent work with your sonnet form. It shifts from struggling to survive to finding home while considering life's blessings. I'm glad you leave her basking in the sun. Great concluding couplet. judi
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2022
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The gal in poem will have to read this. It will give her hope so she'll be basking in the sun instead of teetering on the edge. Amazing that we came up with a similar idea! Excellent work with your sonnet form. It shifts from struggling to survive to finding home while considering life's blessings. I'm glad you leave her basking in the sun. Great concluding couplet. judi
Comment Written 09-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2022
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Thank you Judi. Yes, we did share a theme today. Sometimes it surprises me how many people write about similar topics and it is all unplanned. Thank you for your exceptional comments!!
Melissa
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You're very welcome. It's interesting, too, that we have our own approach, even if it's the same subject. judi
Comment from Theodore McDowell
Yes. the poem moves from the edge of the abyss to a feeling of being blessed. The pivot is gratitude and counting your blessing. Nice use of rhyme and rhythm. Well done.
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2022
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Yes. the poem moves from the edge of the abyss to a feeling of being blessed. The pivot is gratitude and counting your blessing. Nice use of rhyme and rhythm. Well done.
Comment Written 09-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2022
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Thank you so much Tim. Glad you liked it.
Melissa
Comment from Pamplemousse1
Hello Poet, this is a well-written sonnet with subject matter appropriate for the form. I thought you handled the meter well and the rhymes were natural sounding. I do have a suggestion for improving the punctuation in the following stanza:
With clenching hands I struggle to survive
while lurking near a cavernous abyss;
and to its rim I finally arrive
while wiping tears, or is it veils of mist?
To allow for natural pauses when reading, please consider the following edit:
With clenching hands(,) I struggle to survive
while lurking near a cavernous abyss; (,)
and to its rim I finally arrive(.)
I wipe my tears, or are they veils of mist?
Lovely and dramatic write. I wish you well in the contest.
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2022
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Hello Poet, this is a well-written sonnet with subject matter appropriate for the form. I thought you handled the meter well and the rhymes were natural sounding. I do have a suggestion for improving the punctuation in the following stanza:
With clenching hands I struggle to survive
while lurking near a cavernous abyss;
and to its rim I finally arrive
while wiping tears, or is it veils of mist?
To allow for natural pauses when reading, please consider the following edit:
With clenching hands(,) I struggle to survive
while lurking near a cavernous abyss; (,)
and to its rim I finally arrive(.)
I wipe my tears, or are they veils of mist?
Lovely and dramatic write. I wish you well in the contest.
Comment Written 09-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2022
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Thank you for your lovely suggestions, I will definitely compare it to the other one :)
Melissa
Comment from royowen
A little tome in sorrow for what we've done that caused some harm or hurt, but thanks be to the Lord Jesus Christ, we have been rescued from all thst, and He wants us to remember what we've done, but not to sorrow, but rejoice in what we've done, beautifully written, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2022
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A little tome in sorrow for what we've done that caused some harm or hurt, but thanks be to the Lord Jesus Christ, we have been rescued from all thst, and He wants us to remember what we've done, but not to sorrow, but rejoice in what we've done, beautifully written, blessings Roy
Comment Written 09-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2022
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Thank you very much, Roy! So appreciate your words of wisdom.
Melissa
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Most welcome
Comment from Janice Canerdy
Your sonnet is excellent in every respect--skillfully written, with accurate rhyme and meter; and vividly descriptive of extreme deep emotions. It conveys a powerful message about how one's mindset can rise from the depths upon the thought of blessings.
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2022
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Your sonnet is excellent in every respect--skillfully written, with accurate rhyme and meter; and vividly descriptive of extreme deep emotions. It conveys a powerful message about how one's mindset can rise from the depths upon the thought of blessings.
Comment Written 09-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2022
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Thank you very much Janice!!
Melissa
Comment from Anne Johnston
Your sonnet is well done, great rhyming. I like the thought of counting your blessings when life may seem depressing. Like your closing lines:
"Remembering this truth will be a start ~
true peace is found within a grateful heart."
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2022
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Your sonnet is well done, great rhyming. I like the thought of counting your blessings when life may seem depressing. Like your closing lines:
"Remembering this truth will be a start ~
true peace is found within a grateful heart."
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2022
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Thank you so much, Anne. Sometimes we are tempted to give in to depression, but there is a cure :)
Melissa
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You are welcome. Taking time to give thanks for what we have lifts us above the sad feelings.
Comment from Mark D. R.
Melissa,
Your last line is the best for me. We should all count our blessings for peace in the world and good health for our families and friends in 2022.
Obviously, your rhyme scheme is in sync for this post.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2022
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Melissa,
Your last line is the best for me. We should all count our blessings for peace in the world and good health for our families and friends in 2022.
Obviously, your rhyme scheme is in sync for this post.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2022
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Thanks so much, Mark. Sometimes we are tempted to give in to depression, but there is a cure.
Melissa
