A Mannequin and Bleached Bones
The suffering of mental illness and suicide12 total reviews
Comment from karenina
For all who have been there, you howl the pain... You beat the drum of incessant death wishes. So many do not realize they are one slippery slope away from The River Styxx. "Come aboard"
"satan whispers...
(lower case " s"---no respect!)
Karenina
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2022
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For all who have been there, you howl the pain... You beat the drum of incessant death wishes. So many do not realize they are one slippery slope away from The River Styxx. "Come aboard"
"satan whispers...
(lower case " s"---no respect!)
Karenina
Comment Written 15-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2022
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Thanks, K. I love the lower case s.
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"he" hates it, no doubt!
no proper noun for him!
Comment from Sherry Asbury
This is haunting and despairing - wonderful write dear friend and congrats on your win in this contest. Today I threatened suicide and am now sitting with myself...drained and sad. This confession is only to show you I understand totally. I love the line settings you used to show the darting of your mind.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2022
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This is haunting and despairing - wonderful write dear friend and congrats on your win in this contest. Today I threatened suicide and am now sitting with myself...drained and sad. This confession is only to show you I understand totally. I love the line settings you used to show the darting of your mind.
Comment Written 04-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2022
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Thanks, Sherry for the great comments.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Excellent entry for the Free-style poem: human suffering writing prompt contest. I think I know who you are. You have a very unique style...in a good way. The overtone scares me. Great imagery of ....plastic mannikin, and bleached bones..... Creepy. Good poem for human suffering. Nice metaphor.
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2022
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Excellent entry for the Free-style poem: human suffering writing prompt contest. I think I know who you are. You have a very unique style...in a good way. The overtone scares me. Great imagery of ....plastic mannikin, and bleached bones..... Creepy. Good poem for human suffering. Nice metaphor.
Comment Written 03-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2022
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Thanks, Gypsy, for the great review. Hope all is well with you.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This sounds like a dreadful illness and an out of body experience too. Perhaps its Covid or something just as life threatening, I felt the emptiness and the stark cold fight to get well, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2022
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This sounds like a dreadful illness and an out of body experience too. Perhaps its Covid or something just as life threatening, I felt the emptiness and the stark cold fight to get well, love Dolly x
Comment Written 03-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2022
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Thanks, Dolly, it reflects my periods of mental illness.
Comment from Wendy G
This is vivid and powerful writing with understanding of the thought processes of depression. It shows the magnification of small things, the glimpses of normal, and how they cannot be reconciled in one's life to bring back normal. Best wishes for your clever entry, skilfully written.
Wendy
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2022
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This is vivid and powerful writing with understanding of the thought processes of depression. It shows the magnification of small things, the glimpses of normal, and how they cannot be reconciled in one's life to bring back normal. Best wishes for your clever entry, skilfully written.
Wendy
Comment Written 03-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2022
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thanks for being a loyal reviewer of my work, Wendy. I enjoy your work just as much.
Comment from HarambeForPresident
This is a daring and totally awesome entry in the contest. I have to advise that the formatting may not be working as intended for you, especially for those of us reading from mobile phones. and landscape, it sort of works, although imperfectly. I think I get the idea, that you are trying to visually show disjointedness, and that the disconcerting aspect of reading that is exactly the point. It may cost you some votes in the contest, although not mine : ) it might be worth thinking about if you can achieve some further disjointedness with fonts or color.
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2022
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This is a daring and totally awesome entry in the contest. I have to advise that the formatting may not be working as intended for you, especially for those of us reading from mobile phones. and landscape, it sort of works, although imperfectly. I think I get the idea, that you are trying to visually show disjointedness, and that the disconcerting aspect of reading that is exactly the point. It may cost you some votes in the contest, although not mine : ) it might be worth thinking about if you can achieve some further disjointedness with fonts or color.
Comment Written 02-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2022
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Thanks for the review and your thoughts on improving the work. I will try to incorporate them. I love your constructive comments.
Comment from LisaMay
There is much to enjoy about your poem - not the subject matter, which is distressing in its harrowing depiction, but in how poetically you have presented the reader with such strong imagery evoking the emotion. Your words have deep impact; I also admire how you have captured the sense of dislocation from reality with the way you have visually placed the phrases on the page.
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There is much to enjoy about your poem - not the subject matter, which is distressing in its harrowing depiction, but in how poetically you have presented the reader with such strong imagery evoking the emotion. Your words have deep impact; I also admire how you have captured the sense of dislocation from reality with the way you have visually placed the phrases on the page.
Comment Written 02-Jan-2022
Comment from Eunice Amero
KInd of funny but good job. You leave your body. Wow. The things you are feeling. The way your body and mind react together. Its amazing. Thanks for sharing. and good luck.
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2022
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KInd of funny but good job. You leave your body. Wow. The things you are feeling. The way your body and mind react together. Its amazing. Thanks for sharing. and good luck.
Comment Written 01-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2022
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Thanks for the review. Question mark on the "kind of funny" remark. The poem deals with the disassociation experienced by people who have experienced deep trauma where they separate from the trauma and the emotions related to the trauma. In any event, thanks for taking the time to read.
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Sorry l made a mistake. I looked again and l seen my mistake. I'm working hard to get out from here and l have to much stress l can make any mistakes l am sorry.
Comment from AnnieDawn
How sad, how sad but this is so descriptive of mental illness in a form that is so difficult to describe and I can relate to it as it is not as one usually sees in a connected life. Asking a patient to describe an episode and it would be similar to your poem. Great job.
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How sad, how sad but this is so descriptive of mental illness in a form that is so difficult to describe and I can relate to it as it is not as one usually sees in a connected life. Asking a patient to describe an episode and it would be similar to your poem. Great job.
Comment Written 01-Jan-2022
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
As if her soul is not within herself, as she finds her distress and the soul are now separate from her plastic manikin and bleached bones; her suffering of mental illness and suicide are inseparable from her; well said, well done; keep writing. ALCREATOR LITT DEAR (D.R.)
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As if her soul is not within herself, as she finds her distress and the soul are now separate from her plastic manikin and bleached bones; her suffering of mental illness and suicide are inseparable from her; well said, well done; keep writing. ALCREATOR LITT DEAR (D.R.)
Comment Written 01-Jan-2022