Little Boy Lost
Inspired by a True Event.29 total reviews
Comment from Liz O'Neill
This is a good summary line we don't know whether we're getting closer or further away the way things go these days: "Each step was questionable, closer or further away?" Good ending. I am involved in the lists of missing and murdered Native Americans face book groups. There are 100 of family members, neighbors, and support system. They struggle with the same question.
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2024
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This is a good summary line we don't know whether we're getting closer or further away the way things go these days: "Each step was questionable, closer or further away?" Good ending. I am involved in the lists of missing and murdered Native Americans face book groups. There are 100 of family members, neighbors, and support system. They struggle with the same question.
Comment Written 18-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2024
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Liz,
Thanks for your comments. Yes, I can only imagine the emotional upheaval that follows the family members and supporters. Not knowing is a void that really has no way of filling. Do they have any success?
Regards
Barry
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A good follow-up
Comment from Cecilia Lynne1
Miracles Do Happen your story entitled "Little Boy Lost"
provide that proof. So often after a search of four days human faith starts to fail and their expectations of a miracle challenged. But truly your sharing of Jason being lost in the Australian bush and the dangers awaiting the lost especially someone as vulnerable and small as a Little Boy Lost and found is worthy of the contest requirements. Well deserved recognition.
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2022
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Miracles Do Happen your story entitled "Little Boy Lost"
provide that proof. So often after a search of four days human faith starts to fail and their expectations of a miracle challenged. But truly your sharing of Jason being lost in the Australian bush and the dangers awaiting the lost especially someone as vulnerable and small as a Little Boy Lost and found is worthy of the contest requirements. Well deserved recognition.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2022
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Cecilia, thanks for your review of my story. I am glad you liked it and your awarding six stars has caught me a little by surprise . A pleasant surprise .
Please take care and have a good day.
Regards
Barry Penfold
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Well deserved. All the best.
Comment from Yardier
Brilliant, concise and drives straight to the heart................................... Yes, indeed, thanks be to God for your insight and gift. Yard.
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2022
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Brilliant, concise and drives straight to the heart................................... Yes, indeed, thanks be to God for your insight and gift. Yard.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2022
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Thanks for taking the time to review my story. Wow and six stars- thanks again. The story has received from very good feedback. Hope you are well and take care and keep writing.
Cheers
Barry Penfold
Comment from Susan Newell
What a wonderful story. I too have been involved in the woodland search for missing children. The desperation was palpable. Fortunately, they were found in a little less than twenty-four hours. I can't imagine four days in Australia. People must have been frantic. A true miracle that he was found safe!
I don't think names of trees are usually capitalized.
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2022
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What a wonderful story. I too have been involved in the woodland search for missing children. The desperation was palpable. Fortunately, they were found in a little less than twenty-four hours. I can't imagine four days in Australia. People must have been frantic. A true miracle that he was found safe!
I don't think names of trees are usually capitalized.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2022
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Susan, Thanks for your review of my story . I think you are correct on the capitalization of trees aspect. Yes, a miracle did happen that day. They actually found him sitting in a creek bed. The story has had a great response from reviewers. Unfortunately not from the judges.
Take care
Regards
Barry Penfold.
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You are vey welcome.
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Boy lost and boy found joy to the world a miracle of life just happens in front of our eyes. Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings and the contest.
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2022
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Boy lost and boy found joy to the world a miracle of life just happens in front of our eyes. Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings and the contest.
Comment Written 03-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2022
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Iza,
Thanks for taking the time to review my story. I am glad you enjoyed it. Lets see how it goes in the competition. Please keep safe and have a wonderful 2022
Cheers
Barry Penfold
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
you did a good job with this little piece. A whole story there which isn't always the case in these short pieces. Spot on with word count. I think you could improve it a little with some formatting and punctuation such as -
It was the fourth day of the search.
Each step was questionable, closer or further away?
Time and time again" Jason, Jason". No response. His name just hung in the twisted Scribbly Bark and Ghost gums... if only they could talk.
The Australian bush was not kind to accidental visitors. The heat, the snakes. Was there a miracle available?
Suddenly...
"He is Here . He is alive".
A huge cheer erupted. A miracle delivered.
Thank you, God.
Separating out the paragraphs and using some additional punctuation can make the lines more weighty and drive the reader through the read more.
All the best
GMG
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2022
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Hi there,
you did a good job with this little piece. A whole story there which isn't always the case in these short pieces. Spot on with word count. I think you could improve it a little with some formatting and punctuation such as -
It was the fourth day of the search.
Each step was questionable, closer or further away?
Time and time again" Jason, Jason". No response. His name just hung in the twisted Scribbly Bark and Ghost gums... if only they could talk.
The Australian bush was not kind to accidental visitors. The heat, the snakes. Was there a miracle available?
Suddenly...
"He is Here . He is alive".
A huge cheer erupted. A miracle delivered.
Thank you, God.
Separating out the paragraphs and using some additional punctuation can make the lines more weighty and drive the reader through the read more.
All the best
GMG
Comment Written 03-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2022
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Thanks for taking the time to review my story and competition entry. Also your suggestions as to punctuation and formatting are great. I do need to be more aware of their importance and I get what you are saying. Thanks again and keep well.
Regards
Barry Penfold
Comment from Mrs. KT
Hello Barry!
I cannot imagine the terror experienced by a child and/or parents when a child goes missing. And in the Australian bush no less! Gawd!
You have encapsulated the story-line and terror well in your flash fiction.
Thank you for sharing!
Best Wishes!
diane
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2022
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Hello Barry!
I cannot imagine the terror experienced by a child and/or parents when a child goes missing. And in the Australian bush no less! Gawd!
You have encapsulated the story-line and terror well in your flash fiction.
Thank you for sharing!
Best Wishes!
diane
Comment Written 02-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2022
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Dianne,
Thanks for taking the time to review my contest entry. Yes this was a miracle . Four days in the Australian Bush is a long time.
Please take care.
Cheers
Barry Penfold
Comment from lancellot
I will have to agree, that miracles do happen. For a child being lost in the wild, by the a search party is formed and dispatched time is all important. So many things could happen. This is based on a true story and it is a good reminder to never give up hope. A miracle could happen.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2022
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I will have to agree, that miracles do happen. For a child being lost in the wild, by the a search party is formed and dispatched time is all important. So many things could happen. This is based on a true story and it is a good reminder to never give up hope. A miracle could happen.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 01-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2022
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Thanks for taking time to review my story. Yes, to never give up hope is a great motto. Miracles do happen. Please take care and have a good New Year.
Regards
Barry.
Comment from Michele Harber
You managed to get a tremendous amount - both of information and emotion - across in just 80 words. You had me with you from the first line, rooting for the child every step of the way, and cheering along with the crowd when he was found. I'm relieved that the story that inspired this had a happy ending. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2022
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You managed to get a tremendous amount - both of information and emotion - across in just 80 words. You had me with you from the first line, rooting for the child every step of the way, and cheering along with the crowd when he was found. I'm relieved that the story that inspired this had a happy ending. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 01-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2022
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Michele,
Thanks for taking the time to review my story and for your kind words. Please take care and have a Happy New Year.
Regards
Barry
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You're very welcome, and a happy and healthy New Year to you and yours as well.
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
When someone is missing or lost, it is very alarming. Your story is one out of many where a boy or girl is not found. Thank God for the alert systems which brings an alert message on our cell phones. Miracles do happen, one did in your story.
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2022
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When someone is missing or lost, it is very alarming. Your story is one out of many where a boy or girl is not found. Thank God for the alert systems which brings an alert message on our cell phones. Miracles do happen, one did in your story.
Comment Written 01-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2022
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Rosemary, Thanks for taking time to review my story. Yes this did have a miraculous sort of ending. A happy one.
Please take care and have a great New Year.
Regards
Barry