Reviews from

The Gift

A nursing home Christmas

76 total reviews 
Comment from Wendy G
Excellent
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This is beautiful Paul, and yes, you did both give and receive His greatest gift - that of love. The three of you had courage and grace, and you were a blessing to her. Thank you for sharing this experience in very wll rhymed verse. Best wishes for your entry.
Wendy

 Comment Written 14-Dec-2021


reply by the author on 14-Dec-2021
    Thanks, Wendy. This is a true story. The boys were my grandsons, and the lady was my mother. I embellished a little.
Comment from zanya
Exceptional
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A wonderful story of Christmas unfolds here gradually in these stanzas - the true spirit of the season unwrapped, as it were, for the reader - a delightful read

 Comment Written 14-Dec-2021


reply by the author on 14-Dec-2021
    Thanks, Zanya. A true story with a few embellishments.
Comment from Mary Shifman
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I enjoyed your beautiful poem about sharing one's self with other in need of company and caring. When I was in rehab with the broken humerus, I noticed that there were a number of lonely people who never got visitors. The staff was pretty much the only people with whom they enter-acted. I'm sure they would have enjoyed the company of there young people. Well done.

 Comment Written 14-Dec-2021


reply by the author on 14-Dec-2021
    Thanks, Mary. Nursing homes can be lonely places.
Comment from lyenochka
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Wow, what a beautiful Christmas story poem! It was about monetary or material gifts that made the difference. It was the gift of time of three young boys and a narrator who blessed a lonely woman by sparking memories of Christmas past and bringing her back to a happier time if only for those few minutes. I think this will do well in the contest!!

 Comment Written 14-Dec-2021


reply by the author on 14-Dec-2021
    Thanks, Helen. This was a true story. The three boys were my grandsons, and the lady was my mother.
reply by lyenochka on 14-Dec-2021
    Oh! I thought it was a youth group mission - I guess it still is! Well told!
Comment from Terry Broxson
Exceptional
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Wow, a wonderful poem for this contest, good luck. As I read this poem out loud it has an Edgar Allen Poe beat, and this is a good thing. The message is clear a random act of kindness, the best gift of all. Great job!

 Comment Written 14-Dec-2021


reply by the author on 14-Dec-2021
    Thanks, Terry. Interesting comparison to Poe. This is a true story with some additions.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Exceptional
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A nursing home Christmas
The Gift
by Paul McFarland


Hello, Paul,

I love your Christmas poem entry for the Christmas Poetry contest. You captured the true meaning of the holidays... The love we give and the love we received.

I'm terrified of ending up in a nursing home. I hope I can take care of myself and can live on my own with a little help.

Well done! Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 14-Dec-2021


reply by the author on 14-Dec-2021
    Thanks, Gypsy. I have that same fear. This was a true story. The three boys were my grandsons, and the lady was my mother. I dressed it up a bit for dramatic effect.
Comment from LisaMay
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I was moved by the story of your visit to brighten the lonely woman's day - your poem drew on emotions very engagingly, with compassion and love to the fore. Your summation that in giving we also receive is a wonderful message.

-- Personally, I am slightly averse to sentences that begin with 'And', except for occasional effect. There seem to be rather a lot of them in your poem.

-- This line has 9 syllables and caused me to stumble when I was reading it:
Some names she knew in bygone places
Perhaps it could be changed to:
Some names she knew from past places

-- Kept falling from her trembling lips
As back through all those years she slips.
('slips' is present tense and other verbs here are past tense. I don't think a near rhyme would be a problem, so perhaps you could use 'slipped'.)

I think your poem is an excellent entry in the Christmas Poetry contest as it is a wonderful reflection on what "The Gift" can be in our lives.

 Comment Written 14-Dec-2021


reply by the author on 14-Dec-2021
    Thanks, LisaMay. I appreciate your suggestions.
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Excellent
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Hello Paul.

The poem is well written with beautiful, descriptive language. Your words express the emotions of that day very well. I understand the title of the gift but as I read, I saw multiple gifts. There's clearly a gift for the lady in the nursing home, but it appears to me at three young boys received a gift as well.

The perception of the gifts for the boys may not appear is clearly at the moment, but it certainly would in time. You have many expressive words in the body of the poem that paint the picture clearly for the reader.

That is my impression of this well written poem.

Good luck in the contest.

Robert

 Comment Written 14-Dec-2021


reply by the author on 14-Dec-2021
    Thanks, Robert. You are right. There were many gifts involved.
Comment from Mary Vigasin
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

A heartfelt, compassionate poem. It is very well-written in rhyme and heart.
What got me is the line where she cited some old rhyme. This picture resembles my grandmother who used to love to recite poems of her youth.
Sadly, she in her last days reached back to the past and did not return.
Stunningly beautiful, poignant and heartwarming.
Good luck in the contest.
Best wishes,
Mary

 Comment Written 14-Dec-2021


reply by the author on 14-Dec-2021
    Thanks, Mary. It is a true story with some additions.
Comment from Mrs. KT
Excellent
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Hello Paul,
There is so much to appreciate about your poetic offering: the treatment of your subject matter, imagery, both visual and emotive, progression of thought, sincerity.
But, if I may, there is an over abundance of "and" employed as well as "And so..." Easy edits are feasible while still maintaining the needed meter...
My mother was a resident of a nursing home for many years. You capture the feelings of loneliness very well in a loving but realistic manner.

Hoping I have not offended with any of my remarks...not my intention...

Thank you for sharing and Happy Holidays!

diane

 Comment Written 14-Dec-2021


reply by the author on 14-Dec-2021
    Thanks, Diane. Always look forward to your reviews and appreciate any of your comments.