Leave of Absence
Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "A Missing Link"Troopers life spins out of control over his family
11 total reviews
Comment from Realist101
Excellent realism Stan, you always know how to bring characters to life! Just two things I see that I'd change, the sentence "He described himself as wearing a Buffalo Bill's cap." This sentence seems out of place to me. And on down, maybe change the word "ruff" to rough? But nice work and like a good Clint Eastwood movieð?¤?
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2021
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Excellent realism Stan, you always know how to bring characters to life! Just two things I see that I'd change, the sentence "He described himself as wearing a Buffalo Bill's cap." This sentence seems out of place to me. And on down, maybe change the word "ruff" to rough? But nice work and like a good Clint Eastwood movieð?¤?
Comment Written 18-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2021
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Thanks Sue!
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Hello Stan.
Your descriptions and active tense are always outstanding. The part I like best about this story it was the dialogue between Luke and digger. the dialogue is realistic and not contrived. I do like the phrase when Luke said he wanted to save his threatening for when it counted. In this situation, that was probably the best thing to think.
Good job on this chapter.
Robert
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2021
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Hello Stan.
Your descriptions and active tense are always outstanding. The part I like best about this story it was the dialogue between Luke and digger. the dialogue is realistic and not contrived. I do like the phrase when Luke said he wanted to save his threatening for when it counted. In this situation, that was probably the best thing to think.
Good job on this chapter.
Robert
Comment Written 15-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2021
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Thanks Robert. Appreciate you pointing out things in particular that resonate.
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You're welcome.
Comment from BethShelby
I guess it is a good thing that he is looking for a man with an unusual hair cur. It seems like a bad sign that the phone was in a dumpster I can't imagine her deliberately tossing the phone. I looking forward to reading more of this story.
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2021
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I guess it is a good thing that he is looking for a man with an unusual hair cur. It seems like a bad sign that the phone was in a dumpster I can't imagine her deliberately tossing the phone. I looking forward to reading more of this story.
Comment Written 15-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2021
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Thanks Beth. I appreciate your reviews. Next chapter coming soon.
Comment from lyenochka
That is one step closer. Luke is very generous to his informants and the homeless. I liked that the coffeehouse looked like a convention of homeless. That's probably the new fashion these days.
I wonder if he will look in at each hotel and show pictures?
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2021
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That is one step closer. Luke is very generous to his informants and the homeless. I liked that the coffeehouse looked like a convention of homeless. That's probably the new fashion these days.
I wonder if he will look in at each hotel and show pictures?
Comment Written 13-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2021
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Thanks so much. I'm anxious to see what he does too. Appreciate you.
Comment from Alaskastory
"A Missing Link" makes good progress on the clues of finding Chrissy's phone and a possible location of where she is or has been. The introduction of Digger is done well too.
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2021
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"A Missing Link" makes good progress on the clues of finding Chrissy's phone and a possible location of where she is or has been. The introduction of Digger is done well too.
Comment Written 13-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2021
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Thanks Marie!
Comment from robyn corum
Stan,
Interesting developments. I know he was hoping for a lot more info from this guy. Rats!
Notes:
1.) Luke knew he was caught somewhere between fifty shades of gray.
--> 50 Shades of Gray - definitely brings different images to mind. Are you sure you want to use that?
2.) "I bet you're a diamond in the (rough)."
Thanks!
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2021
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Stan,
Interesting developments. I know he was hoping for a lot more info from this guy. Rats!
Notes:
1.) Luke knew he was caught somewhere between fifty shades of gray.
--> 50 Shades of Gray - definitely brings different images to mind. Are you sure you want to use that?
2.) "I bet you're a diamond in the (rough)."
Thanks!
Comment Written 13-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2021
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Thanks Robyn
Comment from amahra
Great chapter; I like the street-wise attitude of Luck and the street-type dialogue of your character. It reads very realistically.
As Luke stepped inside, a bell above rang his entrance.[good minor detail.]
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2021
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Great chapter; I like the street-wise attitude of Luck and the street-type dialogue of your character. It reads very realistically.
As Luke stepped inside, a bell above rang his entrance.[good minor detail.]
Comment Written 13-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2021
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Thanks Amahra!
Comment from lancellot
A very well written chapter. The reader could feel Luke's desperation and his fighting to remain calm and in control. Just a few nits. Good work.
notes:
As Luke turned and shifted toward the {caf�©,} he replied.
- edit
One man sat in the back of the {caf�©'.}
- here also
He pulled a picture of Chrissy. ["]Did you see her?"
- add
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2021
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A very well written chapter. The reader could feel Luke's desperation and his fighting to remain calm and in control. Just a few nits. Good work.
notes:
As Luke turned and shifted toward the {caf�©,} he replied.
- edit
One man sat in the back of the {caf�©'.}
- here also
He pulled a picture of Chrissy. ["]Did you see her?"
- add
Comment Written 12-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2021
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Thanks for all. Stan
Comment from Malerie
I'm intrigued, after reading this chapter I want to read more. I like as good mystery and you are setting to the stage. I was looking for clues in each paragraph; additional information was revealed as I read. Although I'm not familiar with your work, you author notes filled me in. Can't wait to read more.
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reply by the author on 19-Dec-2021
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I'm intrigued, after reading this chapter I want to read more. I like as good mystery and you are setting to the stage. I was looking for clues in each paragraph; additional information was revealed as I read. Although I'm not familiar with your work, you author notes filled me in. Can't wait to read more.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2021
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Thanks so much Malerie!
Comment from royowen
It looks like Luke is starting to get some results from his investigations and meets with a homeless man who managed to retrieve Chrissy's cell from a dumpster, but seems to know little else about her. But, as a dad, I know how desperate a dad can be about a missing daughter, well done, great job, blessings Roy
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reply by the author on 19-Dec-2021
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It looks like Luke is starting to get some results from his investigations and meets with a homeless man who managed to retrieve Chrissy's cell from a dumpster, but seems to know little else about her. But, as a dad, I know how desperate a dad can be about a missing daughter, well done, great job, blessings Roy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2021
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Thanks Roy!
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Well done
