Dulcius Ex Asperis
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "DEA - One"A sequel to my debut novel, Par Angusta Ad Augusta
4 total reviews
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
TEOL2016:
It would seem that Monique does not totally trust her man, Jefferson. Could it be she's insecure because of her disability? I can only imagine how vulnerable she is feeling right now. I remember the many trips to the bathroom when I was pregnant. LOL! Looking forward to your next installment.
Rdfrdmom2
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2021
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TEOL2016:
It would seem that Monique does not totally trust her man, Jefferson. Could it be she's insecure because of her disability? I can only imagine how vulnerable she is feeling right now. I remember the many trips to the bathroom when I was pregnant. LOL! Looking forward to your next installment.
Rdfrdmom2
Comment Written 12-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2021
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Thank you kindly.
Comment from lancellot
Hmm, very interesting chapter. Good introduction to your kids, characters. Have the police block an entire street and both sides is odd, and having a cop send young kids another way, instead of simply walking them through. But overall a well written piece.
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2021
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Hmm, very interesting chapter. Good introduction to your kids, characters. Have the police block an entire street and both sides is odd, and having a cop send young kids another way, instead of simply walking them through. But overall a well written piece.
Comment Written 12-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2021
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Thank you kindly.
Comment from Ramona Scarborough
Hello,
Enjoyed reading your chapter. I appreciated the cast of character descriptions at the end. You have set up the reader with three possible problems. Are the police and ambulance at the children's house? Is Monique pregnant? Likely, but she doesn't seem to feel happy about it. Is Jefferson cheating on her? These questions will cause a reader to continue to see if they are right about these suppositions,
Some piddly stuff: comma after, Abigail preferring fantastical tales,
the dates mentioned would be better as: 2nd, 12th and 13th.
This sentence seemed better separated. The bathroom was almost as bit as her office. She had split the hundred-and-eight-
Planned has just one l and Ashley Judd's last name has two d's.
I liked one of the characters maneuvering in a wheelchair since readers are not always cognizant of difficulties faced by someone who can't walk. Great job!
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2021
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Hello,
Enjoyed reading your chapter. I appreciated the cast of character descriptions at the end. You have set up the reader with three possible problems. Are the police and ambulance at the children's house? Is Monique pregnant? Likely, but she doesn't seem to feel happy about it. Is Jefferson cheating on her? These questions will cause a reader to continue to see if they are right about these suppositions,
Some piddly stuff: comma after, Abigail preferring fantastical tales,
the dates mentioned would be better as: 2nd, 12th and 13th.
This sentence seemed better separated. The bathroom was almost as bit as her office. She had split the hundred-and-eight-
Planned has just one l and Ashley Judd's last name has two d's.
I liked one of the characters maneuvering in a wheelchair since readers are not always cognizant of difficulties faced by someone who can't walk. Great job!
Comment Written 10-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2021
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Thank you. I will fix those items.
Comment from Crystal A Castaneda
This is good and I like the way it's written Billy tells the story behind the story and I can't wait to finish reading the next chapter I feel it will really be a good story book
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2021
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This is good and I like the way it's written Billy tells the story behind the story and I can't wait to finish reading the next chapter I feel it will really be a good story book
Comment Written 10-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2021
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Thank you kindly.
