I'm Wasn't Supposed to Talk Abou
I wasn't supposed to talk about it, and there were some ques2 total reviews
Comment from SimianSavant
I'm awfully sorry to give this such a lot rating, but maybe you can explain more of the context. What is up with all the repetition? Is the narrator supposed to be brainwashed or traumatized? I read through this twice. What is the story you are trying to tell? This gets even more confusing starting at the El Tovar Hotel. There does not seem to be a connection to the previous material.
This ought to come with a disclaimer for violence. I am not bothered by that at all, but others are.
Also, there are a number of broken characters. I suggest editing this in the advanced editor. Get back to me after editing this and I will upgrade!
   |
I'm awfully sorry to give this such a lot rating, but maybe you can explain more of the context. What is up with all the repetition? Is the narrator supposed to be brainwashed or traumatized? I read through this twice. What is the story you are trying to tell? This gets even more confusing starting at the El Tovar Hotel. There does not seem to be a connection to the previous material.
This ought to come with a disclaimer for violence. I am not bothered by that at all, but others are.
Also, there are a number of broken characters. I suggest editing this in the advanced editor. Get back to me after editing this and I will upgrade!
Comment Written 08-Dec-2021
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
This is oddly disjointed and repetitive--I assume this is an intentional device--it doesn't work for me, but that's irrelevant. Credit for original style.
Note: titles got chopped
I wasn't supposed to talk about it, and there were some ques
I'm Wasn't Supposed to Talk Abou
|
This is oddly disjointed and repetitive--I assume this is an intentional device--it doesn't work for me, but that's irrelevant. Credit for original style.
Note: titles got chopped
I wasn't supposed to talk about it, and there were some ques
I'm Wasn't Supposed to Talk Abou
Comment Written 06-Dec-2021
