LDS Episode 1: Reindeer Revenge
Love, Death + Santa19 total reviews
Comment from Mary Shifman
Well, I hope there are no child members here at FanStory. It's bad enough that "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer," but Santa killing off Dasher is too much!
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2021
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Well, I hope there are no child members here at FanStory. It's bad enough that "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer," but Santa killing off Dasher is too much!
Comment Written 07-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2021
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The childhood version of me would've enjoyed reading it. Drinking a Guinness might have been controversial, although Oz Guinness is a popular theologian, which would have made it OK with my parents. Thank you!
Comment from karenina
I'm giving this five because it is a creative breakaway from the more traditional and syrupy confection of most Christmas poems...
I recognize that you do not conform to the traditional "loop poetry" format and likely that will betake into account during judging.
I may be wrong, but seems to me your intention was to color outside of the lines and offer up a unique piece of poetry--even if it ruffled some traditionalist feathers...
I'll be waiting to see if this makes the voting lineup or if the "judges" will disqualify it for --um -- originality? Defiance? Creativity?
You do you. If you're happy with it and you clearly know it may or may not be accepted int he competition, that's all that matters to me.
Karenina
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2021
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I'm giving this five because it is a creative breakaway from the more traditional and syrupy confection of most Christmas poems...
I recognize that you do not conform to the traditional "loop poetry" format and likely that will betake into account during judging.
I may be wrong, but seems to me your intention was to color outside of the lines and offer up a unique piece of poetry--even if it ruffled some traditionalist feathers...
I'll be waiting to see if this makes the voting lineup or if the "judges" will disqualify it for --um -- originality? Defiance? Creativity?
You do you. If you're happy with it and you clearly know it may or may not be accepted int he competition, that's all that matters to me.
Karenina
Comment Written 07-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2021
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I actually didn't set out to break any rules, but by the time I finished I realized that I had, and that there was no point going back. I even asked months in advance if it would be OK to use homonyms, but no one answered. The process of creating a homonym loop challenge was immensely rewarding, considering I started out with no plan for the story. I'm just happy to have writing prompts with deadlines and a bit of skin in the game to challenge myself.
On one occasion, the other week, I did go out of my way to break rules (Enter the Rhinegeist) to troll a contest that had an insane number of rules. It takes soooo many reviews to get the credits to enter one of these contests and successfully promote it to the point people see it, and then it takes just a handful of people on the hunt for something that offends them to trash one's author rating. Oh well! I just hope I can keep pushing myself and have fun here.
Thank you so much for your thoughts and the kind review.
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I've written for contests and then missed the deadline by a minute...
I've written one liners that stayed on one line and lost out to those that took up three.
I accidentally posted a contest entry in my regular portfolio and then could not move it to contest even before a single review because that would be reposting...
It's been a minute since I even tried entering contests.
I do wish people would chill the heck out and realize it's not life and death...it's a poetry site not brain surgery!
You just keep on being you. Some of us appreciate it!
Karenina
Comment from barbara.wilkey
An interesting take on poor old Santa. LOL I have to become a fan because I enjoy reading your creative work. I don't want to miss any. I would wish you luck with the contest, but I have no clue what the judges will do.
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2021
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An interesting take on poor old Santa. LOL I have to become a fan because I enjoy reading your creative work. I don't want to miss any. I would wish you luck with the contest, but I have no clue what the judges will do.
Comment Written 07-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2021
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Thank you very much. Judges will do what the judges do, and I will do what I do : ) I'm just happy to have writing prompts with deadlines and a bit of skin in the game to challenge me.
Comment from Paul McFarland
When I started out, I wanted to give you just one star because of the content, but as I continued, I started to appreciate your cleverness. I hate to see Christmas treated like this, but I guess it's okay as long as we keep this poem away from the youngsters.
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2021
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When I started out, I wanted to give you just one star because of the content, but as I continued, I started to appreciate your cleverness. I hate to see Christmas treated like this, but I guess it's okay as long as we keep this poem away from the youngsters.
Comment Written 07-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2021
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I consider this a very high compliment. Thank you. I grew up with brothers and we found The Complete Tales of Uncle Remus in the library one day. Sometimes I mix up the stories in this book with other ones but as I recall, many classic, even beloved characters met their ends in extremely violent South-Park fashion, only to reappear later. It has probably been 25 years or longer since I read this, but if I were to do so, might discover some of the roots here. Santa was always considered a light distraction from "real" Christmas; maybe it is time for him to find religion ; )
Comment from Seshadri_Sreenivasan
I am confused. Is this loop poetry? I am very new to poetry and am not familiar with so many forms of poetry. I liked the phraseology, interesting storytelling, although a bit too bloody for Christmas. I would have settled for one single pic, the top one. The othershinder the smooth flow. Strictly my personal observation. Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2021
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I am confused. Is this loop poetry? I am very new to poetry and am not familiar with so many forms of poetry. I liked the phraseology, interesting storytelling, although a bit too bloody for Christmas. I would have settled for one single pic, the top one. The othershinder the smooth flow. Strictly my personal observation. Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 07-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2021
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It is true loop poetry, but not by the stanza - the entire piece is a giant loop. It seems likely to be disqualified. I realized near the end of writing it that people were rhyming the fourth line with the second. That is a form that feels a bit nostalgic for my taste, though that sort of repetition works quite well in a sermon or in music. Anyway it is my misunderstanding that led to this but it seem to have been a profitable misunderstanding. Thank you for your observations and suggestion! For now I will keep the extra pictures, but I might omit them later. It was part of the effort to make the reader forget they were inside of a specific form of writing.
Comment from RPSaxena
Hello HF President,
Nice piece of poetry meeting almost all the norms, having impressive phraseology, smooth flow throughout from the beginning to the end with some sort of lovely rhythm, and beautifully depicting Santa's encounter with reindeer and related pieces of the story.
Interesting, and Laudable Attempt!
GOOD LUCK in the contest.
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2021
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Hello HF President,
Nice piece of poetry meeting almost all the norms, having impressive phraseology, smooth flow throughout from the beginning to the end with some sort of lovely rhythm, and beautifully depicting Santa's encounter with reindeer and related pieces of the story.
Interesting, and Laudable Attempt!
GOOD LUCK in the contest.
Comment Written 06-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2021
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Thank you very much RPS! Stay tuned for further adventures . . .
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HFPresident, Most Welcome!
With best wishes,
~ RP
Comment from amahra
LOL! An adult horror night before Christmas...ok. You did a great job with the Loop poem. I actually like the liberties you took with it. It's a great entry for the Loop poem contest. Best wishes.
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2021
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LOL! An adult horror night before Christmas...ok. You did a great job with the Loop poem. I actually like the liberties you took with it. It's a great entry for the Loop poem contest. Best wishes.
Comment Written 06-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2021
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Thank you very much Amahra. I somewhat doubt it will make it to the contest vote, but if I can figure out a format that is both funny and achievable, there will be further episodes coming. Not sure when yet!
Comment from damommy
Why would you call this a loop poem when it clearly isn't? If this works, then we can write anything and call it whatever we wish. When entering a contest, it's expected to abide by the rules set forth. Loop poems don't always call for rhyming, but in this case, it was a specific requirement. If you continue to ignore the rules, why are you surprised when you're disqualified?
I love the picture, but I was appalled at what followed.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2021
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Why would you call this a loop poem when it clearly isn't? If this works, then we can write anything and call it whatever we wish. When entering a contest, it's expected to abide by the rules set forth. Loop poems don't always call for rhyming, but in this case, it was a specific requirement. If you continue to ignore the rules, why are you surprised when you're disqualified?
I love the picture, but I was appalled at what followed.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2021
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Re: "Continue to ignore the rules" - I have been disqualified for all sorts of things in different contests, usually not deliberate, including ridiculous interpretations of the formatting by the judges regarding what a "line" is, based on arbitrary word wrapping, when I was in fact trying to conform better with the rules. The bigger issue with this site structure is that we can continue editing things during the contest voting itself, after the CEC has reviewed the entries, and it will change what the voters see.
This is a loop poem. It is not a haiku or a sonnet. It is not anything or whatever. I happened to see examples of loop poetry closer to the style of what I was doing before I saw the rules, submitted in this contest, and decided to go that route. This was a far more exciting and daunting challenge than one in which I might have followed the rules exactly. Clearly, I don't care if I am disqualified or not, and had already commented about this in the author notes. The writing exercise itself was worth it. I treat the contests as writing prompts, with no expectation of winning. It seems the only violence that is rewarded here is talking about abortion! And I did include a prompt for violence. If you don't want to be upset by violence, don't put on Attack of the Zombie Care Bears for the grandkids. Passion of the Christ is far more appropriate for Christmas. We all know Santa is going to hell for trying to buy his way into heaven.
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Then why call it anything? I guess I don't understand why you'd enter a contest knowing you were going to be disqualified.
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I reserved an entry weeks ago, and in this case I was mostly done writing it before somehow I saw the thing about the rhyming with stanzas. Rather than scrap my entry, I decided to see it through. Being disqualified is one thing. Getting my author score trashed by angry conservatives is another!
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What angry conservatives?
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
LDS Episode 1: Reindeer Revenge
by HarambeForPresident
Is your book title, LDS, for Mormons?
I like your night before Christmas nightmare LoL well crafted. I like the play on words. Good entry for the Loop Poetry Contest.
Well done.
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2021
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LDS Episode 1: Reindeer Revenge
by HarambeForPresident
Is your book title, LDS, for Mormons?
I like your night before Christmas nightmare LoL well crafted. I like the play on words. Good entry for the Loop Poetry Contest.
Well done.
Comment Written 06-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2021
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Thank you! I don't know if it will pass the contest rules but it doesn't matter too much; it was a fun prompt. When I came up with the abbreviation, it was merely coincidental, in the spirit of "Love, Death + Robots", merely intended to include the name of the series in the title. Having noticed the coincidence, I started thinking about the potential for religious . . . material . . . in future episodes if I find the energy to continue the series. Is Santa coming back? Will he find religion? Perhaps I should create a poll.
Comment from Hesed Abraham
Fantastic! If I may say, I see a children's book (although maybe not this story) in your future? Great pictures as well. My only suggestion is that maybe instead of the italics, the dialogues maybe more aesthetically pleasing with quotes
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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Fantastic! If I may say, I see a children's book (although maybe not this story) in your future? Great pictures as well. My only suggestion is that maybe instead of the italics, the dialogues maybe more aesthetically pleasing with quotes
Comment Written 05-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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Thank you so much for this stellar review. I am experimenting with quote psychology/clarity and have not quite figured it out yet. As a software developer I think quotes may be headed towards becoming outdated nomenclature. And the italic defaults are poor, so I have tried something else. I would be interested to hear your thoughts on the latest iteration (color coded, smaller font).
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It's much easier to read with the color coding. Honestly didn't notice the size difference in my first reading. Maybe I'm just old fashioned and misses the quotes :)