The Forest King
Constanza for Potlatch Poetry41 total reviews
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
A well written poem that puts you in the spirit for peace and tranquility. Like your poem. It sure brings the thought of forgiving others so there is peace for one's soul.
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2021
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A well written poem that puts you in the spirit for peace and tranquility. Like your poem. It sure brings the thought of forgiving others so there is peace for one's soul.
Comment Written 03-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2021
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Thank you. I appreciate that.
Comment from judiverse
I love the Constanzas I've been reading. I think it's the monorhyme of the first lines of each stanza that gets me. I enjoyed your line about trees being the forest's answer for a king. They are noble. Great words to describe the tree--redoubtable, gallant, and stark. Trees do offer a place to find peace. Great use of first person and having the tree speak. judi
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2021
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I love the Constanzas I've been reading. I think it's the monorhyme of the first lines of each stanza that gets me. I enjoyed your line about trees being the forest's answer for a king. They are noble. Great words to describe the tree--redoubtable, gallant, and stark. Trees do offer a place to find peace. Great use of first person and having the tree speak. judi
Comment Written 03-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2021
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Thank you. I'm glad you love trees, too.
Comment from SimianSavant
A formidable use of vocabulary used in all the right ways. Most creative: "greaves". If you pulled that off the top of your head, I am very impressed. I would only have found that using rhymezone. Gorgeous work!
One very minor suggestion, and it is really just my opinion, but commas denote a break so if I use one that is non-mandatory grammatically in the middle of a line, it is because I intend for it to take up a beat in the cadence. => Here, you'll find peace <= if spoken with a pause, this comma might disrupt your cadence, so I personally would omit admit it.
Thanks for the lovely read.
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2021
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A formidable use of vocabulary used in all the right ways. Most creative: "greaves". If you pulled that off the top of your head, I am very impressed. I would only have found that using rhymezone. Gorgeous work!
One very minor suggestion, and it is really just my opinion, but commas denote a break so if I use one that is non-mandatory grammatically in the middle of a line, it is because I intend for it to take up a beat in the cadence. => Here, you'll find peace <= if spoken with a pause, this comma might disrupt your cadence, so I personally would omit admit it.
Thanks for the lovely read.
Comment Written 03-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2021
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Thank you for the wonderful review and stars, and for the suggestion. Much appreciated.
Comment from Pam (respa)
-A very nice image
and good presentation.
-I like the title and the poem.
-Effective imagery and rhyme.
-You link the title very well
with the first line and develop
it more in the second verse.
-I like the third verse
because you are moved by
this stately tree and want
the reader to feel that way, too.
-Very good closing verses, too.
-I enjoyed this poem, and it
deserves my last six of the week.
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2021
|
-A very nice image
and good presentation.
-I like the title and the poem.
-Effective imagery and rhyme.
-You link the title very well
with the first line and develop
it more in the second verse.
-I like the third verse
because you are moved by
this stately tree and want
the reader to feel that way, too.
-Very good closing verses, too.
-I enjoyed this poem, and it
deserves my last six of the week.
Comment Written 03-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2021
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Thank you so much, Pam. High praise indeed. I really appreciate it.
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You are very welcome and deserved it!
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Your poem is a great example of the constanza. You wrote it well according to the rules. I read through first, then read only the first lines of each verse. Both worked well. The image is exceptional, too. Where would Earth be without trees? Your words are well thought out, flow smoothly, and create great imagery. You used alliteration of s & r well. Your rhymes are well done using words with multi-syllables.
Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2021
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Your poem is a great example of the constanza. You wrote it well according to the rules. I read through first, then read only the first lines of each verse. Both worked well. The image is exceptional, too. Where would Earth be without trees? Your words are well thought out, flow smoothly, and create great imagery. You used alliteration of s & r well. Your rhymes are well done using words with multi-syllables.
Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 03-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2021
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Thank you so much! You've made my day.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Thank you for sharing this club entry with us. I have often looked at the old trees and wondered what stories they could tell. I know they have them. Through the years they have witnessed many things. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2021
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Thank you for sharing this club entry with us. I have often looked at the old trees and wondered what stories they could tell. I know they have them. Through the years they have witnessed many things. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 03-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2021
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I'm so glad you understand. If only they could talk. Thank you so much, Barbara.
Comment from dragonpoet
This is a simply rhymed and strongly metaphoric poem. It shows the majesty of nature and its calming effects on us.
Keep writing and stay healthy healthy
Happy Holidays
Joan
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2021
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This is a simply rhymed and strongly metaphoric poem. It shows the majesty of nature and its calming effects on us.
Keep writing and stay healthy healthy
Happy Holidays
Joan
Comment Written 03-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2021
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Thank you, Joan. You, too.
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You're welcome, Yvonne; I will.
Joan
Comment from Jesse James Doty
I love the picture of the tree, it shows its majesty to all who can see it! A Constanza is hard for me to understand it seems to be that the first line rhymes all the way through the poem in the first line only, then the second and third lines rhyme together to complete this work that radiates throughout the poem I can't believe the whole poem is about one tree, it works well and is excellently done! Thank you for posting this spectacular piece, it is warm and inviting!
Take good care of yourself, Yvonne you can do it like no other can!
Jesse
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2021
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I love the picture of the tree, it shows its majesty to all who can see it! A Constanza is hard for me to understand it seems to be that the first line rhymes all the way through the poem in the first line only, then the second and third lines rhyme together to complete this work that radiates throughout the poem I can't believe the whole poem is about one tree, it works well and is excellently done! Thank you for posting this spectacular piece, it is warm and inviting!
Take good care of yourself, Yvonne you can do it like no other can!
Jesse
Comment Written 03-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2021
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Thank you so much for this wonderful review. You take care, too. I hope you are doing well these days.
Comment from Sherry Asbury
I love trees and always sorrow when some lovely specimen falls or is chopped down - they were here first! Your poem reveres the nobility of forest giants and makes them seem human - no, trees are nicer. Very good presentation.
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2021
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I love trees and always sorrow when some lovely specimen falls or is chopped down - they were here first! Your poem reveres the nobility of forest giants and makes them seem human - no, trees are nicer. Very good presentation.
Comment Written 03-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2021
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Trees are nicer. I hate it when I see one being cut down. There's a house near me that cut a huge, beautiful oak down because it was shading their grass!
Comment from Alma Barkman
Being a lover of trees, I especially like this poem.
I thought the rhythm in the last line of the first verse was broken by the use of "gallant." I think the accent is usually on the first syllable and this line needs a word with the accent on the second syllable.
Other than that I really like your poem.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
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reply by the author on 03-Dec-2021
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Being a lover of trees, I especially like this poem.
I thought the rhythm in the last line of the first verse was broken by the use of "gallant." I think the accent is usually on the first syllable and this line needs a word with the accent on the second syllable.
Other than that I really like your poem.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2021
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Thank you. I was thinking gallant would be spoken with the stress on the second syllable, as in ga launt'. I'm glad you like the poem.
