Upon The Page
Kyrielle contest entry14 total reviews
Comment from samantha0930
I had to reread it because the language is a bit confusing to me which made it difficult to understand at first, and your repeating line doesn't flow well because you put the verb before the noun. If you left off "If" the it would read fine, but it still has the be 8 syllables. If you said "If I might..." then it would read better and not be so distracting. The theme of the poem is interesting though.
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2021
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I had to reread it because the language is a bit confusing to me which made it difficult to understand at first, and your repeating line doesn't flow well because you put the verb before the noun. If you left off "If" the it would read fine, but it still has the be 8 syllables. If you said "If I might..." then it would read better and not be so distracting. The theme of the poem is interesting though.
Comment Written 06-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2021
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Yeah, I did that to give it more of a, at least to me, poetic, archaic vibe. LoL sorry it didn't work for you. Thank you for the great review and stars, Samantha.
Comment from June Sargent
Well, you have successfully bled beautiful words into this page - freeing them from confinement in your heart and mind. Your Kyrielle is unique and creative, dancing quaintly and elegantly across the sheet. I enjoyed the read. Should do well in the contest.
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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Well, you have successfully bled beautiful words into this page - freeing them from confinement in your heart and mind. Your Kyrielle is unique and creative, dancing quaintly and elegantly across the sheet. I enjoyed the read. Should do well in the contest.
Comment Written 05-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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Thank you for the kind review, June. I'm glad you liked the piece.
Comment from C. Gale Burnett
Oh my goodness. I just LOVE the depth of your Kyrielle!
-such beautiful word choices
-loved the repeating line
-I don't know what you call this, but I'm drawn to this type of poetry with words and phrases that seem to come from the past:
(if might I, would too, dost thou, to ease so soft, so quaintly dance)
I really read into the meaning and thoughts within this beautifully expressed poem and was mesmerized by it all.
Gale
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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Oh my goodness. I just LOVE the depth of your Kyrielle!
-such beautiful word choices
-loved the repeating line
-I don't know what you call this, but I'm drawn to this type of poetry with words and phrases that seem to come from the past:
(if might I, would too, dost thou, to ease so soft, so quaintly dance)
I really read into the meaning and thoughts within this beautifully expressed poem and was mesmerized by it all.
Gale
Comment Written 05-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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Wow, thank you so much for the beautiful review and giant sixer, C. Gale. I'm glad you noticed how much work actually went into the piece. From a couple of the reviews I've received, I guess this old style of writing is called 'archaic.' I wish I was well versed in it. I'd write a lot more using it.
I dearly appreciate the gracious stars. I'm glad you liked the piece. Have a wonderful night and thank you again.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Excellent entry for the Write a Kyrielle writing prompt contest. Lovely quatrains and the rhymes do not seem forced. Your poem flows well. It draws on emotions and it presents strong images.
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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Excellent entry for the Write a Kyrielle writing prompt contest. Lovely quatrains and the rhymes do not seem forced. Your poem flows well. It draws on emotions and it presents strong images.
Comment Written 05-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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Thank you for the great review and generous stars, Gypsy. I'm glad you liked the piece.
Comment from Bill Schott
This Kyrielle, Upon the Page, has the right set up and suggests a great freeing when the author bares his/her soul with words that show an open wound to be examined. Neat.
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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This Kyrielle, Upon the Page, has the right set up and suggests a great freeing when the author bares his/her soul with words that show an open wound to be examined. Neat.
Comment Written 05-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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Thank you for the fantastic review and stars, Bill. I'm glad you liked the piece.
Comment from jaded831
Every writer that reads this page can relate. Your poem captures the writing experience well. Your poem moved me most out of the group. I read them all so now I'll vote. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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Every writer that reads this page can relate. Your poem captures the writing experience well. Your poem moved me most out of the group. I read them all so now I'll vote. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 05-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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Thank you so much for the fantastic review, Jaded. I dearly appreciate the generous stars and kind comments. I'm glad you like my little offering. Have yourself a great night.
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
' Upon the Page ', is an exceptionally well-written and delightfully descriptive piece. Penned with craft and skill. It was a pleasure to both read and review this talented poet's work. Good luck with the contest. Please let me know how you get on?
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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' Upon the Page ', is an exceptionally well-written and delightfully descriptive piece. Penned with craft and skill. It was a pleasure to both read and review this talented poet's work. Good luck with the contest. Please let me know how you get on?
Comment Written 04-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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Thank you for the fantastic review and kind comments, Duchess. I dearly appreciate the gracious stars and good luck wishes. I'm glad you liked the piece. Have yourself a wonderful night.
Dear Anon, you're very welcome. Hopefully I'll have an absolutely wonderful night,
the Duchess
Comment from LyndaS
I'm not that crazy about archaic language but this entry grabbed me to where I had to read it through a couple of times to absorb everything. Beautifully written with a perfect meter and rhyme scheme. A very clever way to repeat your chosen line. Looks, indeed, like you bled all over the page trying to express what writing does (or does not do) for you emotionally. Best of the bunch. I'd say good luck in the polls but I think I just reviewed the winner. Well done! Lynda
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2021
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I'm not that crazy about archaic language but this entry grabbed me to where I had to read it through a couple of times to absorb everything. Beautifully written with a perfect meter and rhyme scheme. A very clever way to repeat your chosen line. Looks, indeed, like you bled all over the page trying to express what writing does (or does not do) for you emotionally. Best of the bunch. I'd say good luck in the polls but I think I just reviewed the winner. Well done! Lynda
Comment Written 03-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2021
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Wow, thank you so much for the great review and big six, Lynda. I love watching movies where they talk like that. I wish I was more knowledgeable in it. I really appreciate the generous stars and kind comments. I'm glad you liked the piece. Thank you again. I hope you have a fantastic weekend.
Comment from Jenifer Bellott
Wow! Well done! There is vulnerability and a touch of hope in these lines. What a beautiful poem. You followed the rules for the contest. There are eight syllables per line and three or more stanzas made of quatrains with a repeating verse. I love the use of archaic words (dost and thou) coupled with the image of old-fashioned tools (parchment and quill) that gives the poem an antique and intelligent vibe. I'm in love with your poem, and I wouldn't change one thing. I think you have a good chance of winning.
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2021
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Wow! Well done! There is vulnerability and a touch of hope in these lines. What a beautiful poem. You followed the rules for the contest. There are eight syllables per line and three or more stanzas made of quatrains with a repeating verse. I love the use of archaic words (dost and thou) coupled with the image of old-fashioned tools (parchment and quill) that gives the poem an antique and intelligent vibe. I'm in love with your poem, and I wouldn't change one thing. I think you have a good chance of winning.
Comment Written 03-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2021
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Wow, thank you so much for the fantastic review and giant sixer, Jenifer. I love the nuance of archaic speech. I wish I was better at using it. LoL. I dearly appreciate the gracious stars and kind comments. I'm glad you liked my little piece. Have yourself a wonderful weekend and thank you again.
Comment from Annette R.
I like the words printed in red, they go right along with the bleed on the page. Blood on the page often seen in historical writings about wounds as in war or persecution. I'm not sure what Kyrielle is so perhaps someone else can help with that.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2021
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I like the words printed in red, they go right along with the bleed on the page. Blood on the page often seen in historical writings about wounds as in war or persecution. I'm not sure what Kyrielle is so perhaps someone else can help with that.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2021
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Thank you for the review, Annette. Might I ask how I can improve the piece? A 4 star rating means it needs improvement. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. I'm glad you liked the piece.
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I'm not sure. Not being a poet, I don't think I'm much help. It seems a kind of complicated way to the message.
