Sky turned ashen
Haiku30 total reviews
Comment from Tina Crute
Not everyone loves snow, so NOT romanticizing it represents that sector of the population. You make me wonder if we under-represent different points of view in our writing. Thanks for making me think of that with your poem that is unique!
Tina
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2021
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Not everyone loves snow, so NOT romanticizing it represents that sector of the population. You make me wonder if we under-represent different points of view in our writing. Thanks for making me think of that with your poem that is unique!
Tina
Comment Written 24-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2021
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Thank you very much.
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You are welcome, very much!
Comment from RPSaxena
Hello Sanku,
In the light of Author Note, it's a nice piece of poetry in the form of 'Haiku' meeting the desired norms, having lucid as well as perfectly matching the theme phraseology, and transparently depicting its theme.
Picture enhances depth and beauty of the poem.
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2021
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Hello Sanku,
In the light of Author Note, it's a nice piece of poetry in the form of 'Haiku' meeting the desired norms, having lucid as well as perfectly matching the theme phraseology, and transparently depicting its theme.
Picture enhances depth and beauty of the poem.
Comment Written 24-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2021
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Thank you very.much.
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Most Welcome!
~ RP
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Sky turned ashen
by Sanku
Beautiful ekphrastic winter haiku. Good syllables count and connection between lines. I would keep complete thoughts on each line. Don't force the 5/7/5.
What I mean....
Sky turned ashen
as earth is shrouded in white~
gloom by the fireside.
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2021
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Sky turned ashen
by Sanku
Beautiful ekphrastic winter haiku. Good syllables count and connection between lines. I would keep complete thoughts on each line. Don't force the 5/7/5.
What I mean....
Sky turned ashen
as earth is shrouded in white~
gloom by the fireside.
Comment Written 24-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2021
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Thank you very much for the suggestions.i have taken off one syllable as per your suggestion
A reviewer suggested ,'gloomy faces instead of 'gloom' since fireside is cheerful
What do you think?
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Sky turned ashen
(Needs connection to the second line) earth shrouded by blinding white~
gloom by the fireside.
I suggest....
sky turned ashen
as earth is shrouded in white~
gloomy fireside
Comment from royowen
I think the cold weather doesn't always bring good tidings, only Christmas in that time is the true hope of things to come, because He guarantees it, this is beautifully written Sanku, thank you, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2021
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I think the cold weather doesn't always bring good tidings, only Christmas in that time is the true hope of things to come, because He guarantees it, this is beautifully written Sanku, thank you, blessings Roy
Comment Written 24-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2021
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Thank you very much. My 88 year old mother is sick and with oxygen support.please pray for her.I know you are very pious and religious.
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Of course Sanku, glad to
Comment from palmart
Perfect description for the picture you have chosen! Artwork is nicely uncommon and invites to serenity and "see time passing by". Haiku is smooth and carries a message of peace of mind. Thanks for sharing!
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2021
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Perfect description for the picture you have chosen! Artwork is nicely uncommon and invites to serenity and "see time passing by". Haiku is smooth and carries a message of peace of mind. Thanks for sharing!
Comment Written 24-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2021
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Thank you very much.
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You are welcome, Sanku.
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Don't apologize! This is lovely and elegant--ashen, shroud, gloom are spot-on for the season. Besides, the blinding white provides a perfect counterbalance. Stunning.
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2021
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Don't apologize! This is lovely and elegant--ashen, shroud, gloom are spot-on for the season. Besides, the blinding white provides a perfect counterbalance. Stunning.
Comment Written 24-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2021
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Thank you very much.Some have asked about ,'gloom' since fireside us always cheerful. But if the person is sad or alone?
Comment from dellsworthpoet
A nice haiku. The picture fits well with the words. The flow is good. It is interesting how various people define gloom, it is definitely different for different people.
A thought provoking poem. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2021
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A nice haiku. The picture fits well with the words. The flow is good. It is interesting how various people define gloom, it is definitely different for different people.
A thought provoking poem. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 24-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2021
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Thank you very much
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You are welcome.
Comment from Sherry Asbury
This is perfect and just what winter really is. The picture is so superb...I love Oriental art! Wish I had time to write for these clubs myself. You have done just a fantastic job!!
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2021
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This is perfect and just what winter really is. The picture is so superb...I love Oriental art! Wish I had time to write for these clubs myself. You have done just a fantastic job!!
Comment Written 24-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2021
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Thank you very much.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This General Poetry Haiku speaks change in Nature, the sky turned ashen as earth shrouded; well said, well done, thanks 4 sharing this and nice reviewing this legible post on white background, post more, fast, time is limited, precious, rare (good) gift, I, DR, wrote 114 books, R 123300/N21. ALCREATOR
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reply by the author on 27-Nov-2021
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This General Poetry Haiku speaks change in Nature, the sky turned ashen as earth shrouded; well said, well done, thanks 4 sharing this and nice reviewing this legible post on white background, post more, fast, time is limited, precious, rare (good) gift, I, DR, wrote 114 books, R 123300/N21. ALCREATOR
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2021
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Thank you very much.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Oh but a nice warm fireplace can be very romantic. LOL Thank you for sharing your club entry with us. I know many people who don't like winter. I happen to think the huge snowflakes falling down is beautiful.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2021
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Oh but a nice warm fireplace can be very romantic. LOL Thank you for sharing your club entry with us. I know many people who don't like winter. I happen to think the huge snowflakes falling down is beautiful.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2021
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Thank you very much
