Short Stories
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Falling in Love "Flash Fiction
24 total reviews
Comment from karenina
Hello Gregory! I'm back from surgery and rehab! (Got home yesterday 11/29)...
I'm doing much better and thrilled to be on site beginning to dig out from the, oh---110 or so posts awaiting review! (smiling.)
THIS is a fantastic flash fiction entry! It's likely the contest may have come and gone in my absence but I do hope you did well because it had all the elements a good flash must have--particularly a totally unexpected wild twist ending!
Dark? Well yes. Although I admit my first thought was "well, jumping of buildings is a fetish a couple could only experience ONCE!"-- (Not sure what that makes me, other than a bit pathological...)
Nothing pathological about your writing though. This was a great way to dip my toes back into reviewing!
Hope you had a lovely Thanksgiving. Best wishes, always--
Karenina
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2021
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Hello Gregory! I'm back from surgery and rehab! (Got home yesterday 11/29)...
I'm doing much better and thrilled to be on site beginning to dig out from the, oh---110 or so posts awaiting review! (smiling.)
THIS is a fantastic flash fiction entry! It's likely the contest may have come and gone in my absence but I do hope you did well because it had all the elements a good flash must have--particularly a totally unexpected wild twist ending!
Dark? Well yes. Although I admit my first thought was "well, jumping of buildings is a fetish a couple could only experience ONCE!"-- (Not sure what that makes me, other than a bit pathological...)
Nothing pathological about your writing though. This was a great way to dip my toes back into reviewing!
Hope you had a lovely Thanksgiving. Best wishes, always--
Karenina
Comment Written 30-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2021
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Thank you Karenina! I'm so sorry for the delay!
How are you feeling??
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Delay has been my middle name!
No worries...
I'm doing mostly better, thanks!
Happy Holidays!
Karenina
Comment from Kooky Clown
I enjoyed it but I haven't done a word count, besides that as you say it is a bit dark. I wasn't quite sure what to expect as I read down and then to the last line all was explained how sad. Kooky.
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2021
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I enjoyed it but I haven't done a word count, besides that as you say it is a bit dark. I wasn't quite sure what to expect as I read down and then to the last line all was explained how sad. Kooky.
Comment Written 27-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2021
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Thanks! Really thank you :)
Comment from tempeste
Ciao Gregory Cody!
The tragic epilogue was unexpected , had no idea it would end like that
and yet today death by suicide is on the rise due to this pandemic which has changed turned our lives upside down.
The younger generations found it hard to adjust during lockdown and many after two years are seriously depressed; suffer sleeping disorder.
They have become lethargic when they're not on their mobiles even up to 5/6 hours per day .
It's the only thing that makes them feel less lonely, isolated.
Personally , I dont see how the younger generation can view the future with optimism .. let alone wanting to create a family.
Tomorrow has never been so dark and menacing.
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2021
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Ciao Gregory Cody!
The tragic epilogue was unexpected , had no idea it would end like that
and yet today death by suicide is on the rise due to this pandemic which has changed turned our lives upside down.
The younger generations found it hard to adjust during lockdown and many after two years are seriously depressed; suffer sleeping disorder.
They have become lethargic when they're not on their mobiles even up to 5/6 hours per day .
It's the only thing that makes them feel less lonely, isolated.
Personally , I dont see how the younger generation can view the future with optimism .. let alone wanting to create a family.
Tomorrow has never been so dark and menacing.
Comment Written 27-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2021
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Wow THANK YOU!!
And your words are true. Scary true. The future generations are going to be scary. They have GROW UP addicted to a screen like us. At least we Knew the world without it being connected to the internet.
It breaks my heart to see HOW MANY people don't know the truth and would rather NOT believe in God. See, I can PROVE it. My faith IS a leap of faith by is NOT a leap. It's a TINY HOP once I explain the apologetics.
There are some people that are choosing not to believe. They don't know the FACTS but they don't care to either.
I have a group of about 7 guess, from 5th grade. 3 of them have taken their own lives. It's so tragic.
Thank you for these stars :)
Comment from Seshadri_Sreenivasan
What a tragic tale. A young couple in love, nervous, but decided to take their lives together. Shocking and unexpected end. A story though melancholic, well told in 75 words. Good luck!
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2021
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What a tragic tale. A young couple in love, nervous, but decided to take their lives together. Shocking and unexpected end. A story though melancholic, well told in 75 words. Good luck!
Comment Written 25-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2021
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Hey man thank you!!
Comment from visionary1234
Wow! this is Flash Fiction at its very best! Congratulations, Greg! You have all the interesting elements of 'story' here, with direct speech to engage us and establish character, and a HELLUVA a surprise ending! Well done and absolutely six worthy!
:)Sharyn
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2021
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Wow! this is Flash Fiction at its very best! Congratulations, Greg! You have all the interesting elements of 'story' here, with direct speech to engage us and establish character, and a HELLUVA a surprise ending! Well done and absolutely six worthy!
:)Sharyn
Comment Written 24-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2021
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You're the best. Thank you ;)
Comment from Sanku
Oh! my. This is a very brave/ sad tale. They deciding to end their life. The girl nervous and the boy taking a drag and doing the last bit .All the best for the contest.
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2021
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Oh! my. This is a very brave/ sad tale. They deciding to end their life. The girl nervous and the boy taking a drag and doing the last bit .All the best for the contest.
Comment Written 24-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2021
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Thank you my friend!
Comment from Begin Again
He took drag on his cigarette.
they were alonebefore
At least, whatever horrible thing sent them there, they shared a comforting moment before stepping off into the end. Very sad!
Carol
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2021
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He took drag on his cigarette.
they were alonebefore
At least, whatever horrible thing sent them there, they shared a comforting moment before stepping off into the end. Very sad!
Carol
Comment Written 24-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2021
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Thank you for catching that Carol!
Thank you :)
Comment from Goodadvicechan
I trust you do a good job in counting the words.
It isn't easy to write such a wonderful story with 75 words. . I like the way it is written. Nearly every sentence is an action. The readers can feel what is happening...
The conversations are teasing...
thanks for sharing this story.
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2021
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I trust you do a good job in counting the words.
It isn't easy to write such a wonderful story with 75 words. . I like the way it is written. Nearly every sentence is an action. The readers can feel what is happening...
The conversations are teasing...
thanks for sharing this story.
Comment Written 24-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2021
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Thank you!!
Comment from RGstar
Yes, well...impactful, and a twist nobody expected. All in line with a excellent piece of work, considering the form and the rules of the competition.
Bravo.
Best wishes.
RGstar
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2021
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Yes, well...impactful, and a twist nobody expected. All in line with a excellent piece of work, considering the form and the rules of the competition.
Bravo.
Best wishes.
RGstar
Comment Written 23-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2021
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RGstar my man. Wow, the man himself. Haha seriously thank you. I've been reading you for years. It means a lot that you took the time here! And even More that you enjoyed it. I'm a fan and I'm grateful. Thank you brother.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
WOW! Two souls with the same fetish found each other and made plans to die together. Your topic is unique and vividly expressed. I could see everything as I read. Your few words, as required, are well-chosen and descriptive. Great title-- the falling as they are in love expresses so much. Best wishes in the contest.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2021
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WOW! Two souls with the same fetish found each other and made plans to die together. Your topic is unique and vividly expressed. I could see everything as I read. Your few words, as required, are well-chosen and descriptive. Great title-- the falling as they are in love expresses so much. Best wishes in the contest.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 23-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2021
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Thank you Jan! I love it :)
