Complete in Him
I believe that Jesus died for me!27 total reviews
Comment from Janice Canerdy
Your well-written, deeply reverent, joyous poem movingly describes the only road to soul's security and peace--believe in, trust, and accept the Lord as personal savior.
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2021
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Your well-written, deeply reverent, joyous poem movingly describes the only road to soul's security and peace--believe in, trust, and accept the Lord as personal savior.
Comment Written 10-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2021
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Thank you Janice, your lovely comments and review is appreciated
Comment from T B Botts
Hello Laura,
Thanks for sharing your faith in this poem. It takes a certain degree of courage in the age we live in to come out as a Christian. I think it baffles a lot of folks that we don't have to jump through hoops to have Christ enter our hearts. It sounds too simple for so many, and thus becomes a stumbling block for them. Well done on your poem gal.
Have a blessed evening.
Tom
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2021
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Hello Laura,
Thanks for sharing your faith in this poem. It takes a certain degree of courage in the age we live in to come out as a Christian. I think it baffles a lot of folks that we don't have to jump through hoops to have Christ enter our hearts. It sounds too simple for so many, and thus becomes a stumbling block for them. Well done on your poem gal.
Have a blessed evening.
Tom
Comment Written 09-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2021
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Thanks, Tom I really appreciate your taking the time to review my poem.
Comment from Yardier
I love your poem. Faith by meter interwoven with eternal joy brings Christ's love, mercy and grace for all to see. Your poem is truly a testimony of Holy gratitude. Our prayers will be for the blind to see. Well done!
FYI - my wife and I have been married 49 years and owned 25 acres on Manitoulin for about half that time. Beautiful land and country.
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2021
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I love your poem. Faith by meter interwoven with eternal joy brings Christ's love, mercy and grace for all to see. Your poem is truly a testimony of Holy gratitude. Our prayers will be for the blind to see. Well done!
FYI - my wife and I have been married 49 years and owned 25 acres on Manitoulin for about half that time. Beautiful land and country.
Comment Written 09-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2021
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Thank you for your review and thoughtful comments! The prayers and stars mean more to me than I can say.
Comment from Rachel L
Hello Laura, I'm not what you would call a believer but I understand and respect people who have faith in God and I think this poem is marvelous! I too am from Ontario, it's nice to see someone else. Take care and thank you for the lovely work.
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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Hello Laura, I'm not what you would call a believer but I understand and respect people who have faith in God and I think this poem is marvelous! I too am from Ontario, it's nice to see someone else. Take care and thank you for the lovely work.
Comment Written 05-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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Thank you for your kind review! We have a lot of snow tonight.
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Freezing rain here, south Ontario
Comment from kintesiegel2
Oh to have your faith and devotion!
But because I said, "Jesus are you real?"
His presence to me He did reveal.
That's pretty simple and not complex at all. I envy you .
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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Oh to have your faith and devotion!
But because I said, "Jesus are you real?"
His presence to me He did reveal.
That's pretty simple and not complex at all. I envy you .
Comment Written 05-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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Thanks for reviewing I appreciate it. He is as near as breathing, and He is just waiting, Behold I stand at the door and knock, let Him in.
Comment from SimianSavant
This is pretty decent and I think you can make it even better. I am just going to focus on technical things here.
But because I said, "Jesus are you real? <= missing end quote
I think you are overusing pronouns a bit. You can use God in place of He more often; in fact, God is only mentioned once. Conventionally, the beginnings of paragraphs or stanzas should re-establish the proper nouns before using pronouns, though certainly there is some flexibility.
"Real" does not quite rhyme with "reveal". How about using the word "still"? Something like: I heard him when my heart was still. This is not perfect but you get the idea.
The next technical level up for you I think is to focus more on your meter. You may want to add or remove a word in places to make things flow better. The best cadence matching you have is here:
My life was changed by His Holy Spirit.
His voice in my heart I continue to hear it.
Think about where your accents align as you are speaking it, and try to make them fall on the natural accents of the words, and without too much space or too little space between those beats, so that it feels natural.
Thanks for the read and good luck!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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This is pretty decent and I think you can make it even better. I am just going to focus on technical things here.
But because I said, "Jesus are you real? <= missing end quote
I think you are overusing pronouns a bit. You can use God in place of He more often; in fact, God is only mentioned once. Conventionally, the beginnings of paragraphs or stanzas should re-establish the proper nouns before using pronouns, though certainly there is some flexibility.
"Real" does not quite rhyme with "reveal". How about using the word "still"? Something like: I heard him when my heart was still. This is not perfect but you get the idea.
The next technical level up for you I think is to focus more on your meter. You may want to add or remove a word in places to make things flow better. The best cadence matching you have is here:
My life was changed by His Holy Spirit.
His voice in my heart I continue to hear it.
Think about where your accents align as you are speaking it, and try to make them fall on the natural accents of the words, and without too much space or too little space between those beats, so that it feels natural.
Thanks for the read and good luck!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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Thanks for reviewing.
Comment from RGstar
By reading your work, I know you have found your peace, and your meaning of life, and may it be calming and reassuring as well the goodness that is written here, because when faith orchestrates goodness, it is so worth.
Nicely done.
Best wishes.
RGstar
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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By reading your work, I know you have found your peace, and your meaning of life, and may it be calming and reassuring as well the goodness that is written here, because when faith orchestrates goodness, it is so worth.
Nicely done.
Best wishes.
RGstar
Comment Written 04-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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Thanks so much for your thoughtful review.
Comment from Anne Johnston
"I found Him not because I'm smart.
But because I said, "Jesus are you real?"
Your poem is very well done and so true. Nothing that we can do to earn the love of the Lord, only believe on Him and yield our lives to Him.
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2021
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"I found Him not because I'm smart.
But because I said, "Jesus are you real?"
Your poem is very well done and so true. Nothing that we can do to earn the love of the Lord, only believe on Him and yield our lives to Him.
Comment Written 02-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2021
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Thanks, Anne, I appreciate your comments. God Bless you always, Laura.
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You are welcome, Laura
Comment from Sally Law
A simple as and powerful faith you have, Laura. Our Jesus is so wonderful. He truly saves!
Sending you my best today as always, and best wishes for the upcoming contest,
Sal XOs
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2021
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A simple as and powerful faith you have, Laura. Our Jesus is so wonderful. He truly saves!
Sending you my best today as always, and best wishes for the upcoming contest,
Sal XOs
Comment Written 02-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2021
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Thanks Sally, I appreciate your review so much. God Bless, Hope you are feeling better xo
Comment from Eunice Amero
This is me. Wow I like this poem. You did a great job. God blesses those who serve Him. God speaks and it's sad to know there are so many who won't listen. If they only could understand what they are in for. and the worse is it's eternity. Keep up with your good work.
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2021
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This is me. Wow I like this poem. You did a great job. God blesses those who serve Him. God speaks and it's sad to know there are so many who won't listen. If they only could understand what they are in for. and the worse is it's eternity. Keep up with your good work.
Comment Written 02-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2021
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Thanks very much Eunice, God Bless you!
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you are more than welcome. God bless you
