Revenge
Viewing comments for Chapter 23 "Revenge - Chap 23"Evil stalks the dynamic crime team
18 total reviews
Comment from robyn corum
Carol,
Oh, my... the tension is definitely building with these folks!!! I am so uncertain of what's going to happen here - I always THINK I know. hahaha Which, as I've said, is a no-no with you. You are the master of deception.
Notes:
1.) Tiffany's lip pouted, and she glanced toward Charles.
--> Tiffany pouted...
2.) "The guy is knocked out in the room next door. Get him on the set
--> okay - to make sure I understand - is this guy the one from the previous scene where 'Jaz' gave him a shot? Or is he knocked out from a whole different reason?
--> also - if he really did go unconscious when she 'shot' him, why didn't she remark about that?
3.) Lenny cursed as he (lifted) himself to a standing position.
4.) We're putting Lexington lying in bed so that it will be easier for Tiffany.
--> reword a bit for smoother visuals and reading?
--> We'll have Lexington...
5.) Tiffany's eyes looked at Charles as she nibbled her lower lip.
--> Tiffany looked...
Moving on--
  |
Carol,
Oh, my... the tension is definitely building with these folks!!! I am so uncertain of what's going to happen here - I always THINK I know. hahaha Which, as I've said, is a no-no with you. You are the master of deception.
Notes:
1.) Tiffany's lip pouted, and she glanced toward Charles.
--> Tiffany pouted...
2.) "The guy is knocked out in the room next door. Get him on the set
--> okay - to make sure I understand - is this guy the one from the previous scene where 'Jaz' gave him a shot? Or is he knocked out from a whole different reason?
--> also - if he really did go unconscious when she 'shot' him, why didn't she remark about that?
3.) Lenny cursed as he (lifted) himself to a standing position.
4.) We're putting Lexington lying in bed so that it will be easier for Tiffany.
--> reword a bit for smoother visuals and reading?
--> We'll have Lexington...
5.) Tiffany's eyes looked at Charles as she nibbled her lower lip.
--> Tiffany looked...
Moving on--
Comment Written 30-Nov-2021
Comment from Ulla
Hi Carol, this James character is a very dangerous one, and I don't think Tiffany knows what she's getting herself into. Neither do I for that matter. I suppose I will soon find out. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2021
|
Hi Carol, this James character is a very dangerous one, and I don't think Tiffany knows what she's getting herself into. Neither do I for that matter. I suppose I will soon find out. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 27-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2021
-
I'm sorry if you aren't enjoying the story or if all the twists and turns make it too complicate. I do appreciate your time and effort.
Hugs, Carol
Comment from Patty Palmer
This is another good chapter of Revenge. Poor Tiffany has no idea what's about to happen. I don't know either but I've got my suspicions. This James dude is a very dangerous man!
Patty
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2021
|
This is another good chapter of Revenge. Poor Tiffany has no idea what's about to happen. I don't know either but I've got my suspicions. This James dude is a very dangerous man!
Patty
Comment Written 20-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2021
-
Of course, life is tugging me down and I am getting far behind on my thank yous. Please know I always appreciate reading and knowing your thoughts...even though I fall behind is telling you.
Carol
Comment from Ric Myworld
After my three-day stint in the hospital, I'm doing my best to catch up on my reading and reviews this morning. Hoping to get out of here today. I apologize for the quickie cookie-cutter review. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2021
|
After my three-day stint in the hospital, I'm doing my best to catch up on my reading and reviews this morning. Hoping to get out of here today. I apologize for the quickie cookie-cutter review. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 18-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2021
-
Never apologize to me for falling behind...I don't know what being caught up means. I sat at the computer yesterday and wrote and found myself 172 reviews and 58 messages behind. There is no catching up without just telling everyone thanks!
Hugs, Carol
Comment from LJbutterfly
I was confused about who was who in the last episode, but re-read the cast of characters which cleared everything up for me. Oh how diabolical. Tiffany is pretending to be Jaz when she kills Drake, the movie director. After the shoot, Charles has a surprise for Tiffany. I hope it's not a deadly surprise. See you in the next episode.
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2021
|
I was confused about who was who in the last episode, but re-read the cast of characters which cleared everything up for me. Oh how diabolical. Tiffany is pretending to be Jaz when she kills Drake, the movie director. After the shoot, Charles has a surprise for Tiffany. I hope it's not a deadly surprise. See you in the next episode.
Comment Written 17-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2021
-
As we approach the season to be thankful I struggle to focus on the good, though I know there is always a silver lining somewhere. I do know that the light burns and someday I will move closer to it. Until then, I am thankful for the friends who encourage and support me.
Hugs, Carol
Comment from dmt1967
Lenny cursed as he (lifcted himself to a standing position). Taking off the shirt, he wiped the blood from his face (on it), and for good measure, he finished wiping the blood off on a few other shirts in the wardrobe. (pulled himself up.) (delete as not needed.)
Outside the door, Charles listened to Lenny (and then knocked on the door.) (before knocking) Otherwise to repetitive.)
And clear the set except for you, me, Tiffany, and() unfortunate Drake." (the)
Another great chapter. Thank you for sharing and take care.
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2021
|
Lenny cursed as he (lifcted himself to a standing position). Taking off the shirt, he wiped the blood from his face (on it), and for good measure, he finished wiping the blood off on a few other shirts in the wardrobe. (pulled himself up.) (delete as not needed.)
Outside the door, Charles listened to Lenny (and then knocked on the door.) (before knocking) Otherwise to repetitive.)
And clear the set except for you, me, Tiffany, and() unfortunate Drake." (the)
Another great chapter. Thank you for sharing and take care.
Comment Written 17-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2021
-
I am 172 reviews behind, and I feel terrible about it. I find myself feeling safer dealing with my murderous characters than dealing with my family. I hope everyone understands that I appreciate them very much, but I simply am struggling to keep my head above water. Each person deserves a big thank you for their time and effort... I hope my thanks and hugs will suffice for now.
(((Hugs))) Carol
Comment from lyenochka
Scary stuff! I think James's temper will be his downfall. I wonder what would happen to Lenny now. And I'm guessing this is a movie to entrap Jaz as played by Tiffany? I would think she would lose it when she sees real blood ooze out.
Suggestions:
"The guys knocked out in the room next door. (guy's) sounds like a contraction for "guy is" and not the plural here.
he drugged himself to a standing position (dragged)
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2021
|
Scary stuff! I think James's temper will be his downfall. I wonder what would happen to Lenny now. And I'm guessing this is a movie to entrap Jaz as played by Tiffany? I would think she would lose it when she sees real blood ooze out.
Suggestions:
"The guys knocked out in the room next door. (guy's) sounds like a contraction for "guy is" and not the plural here.
he drugged himself to a standing position (dragged)
Comment Written 17-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2021
-
thank you so much for your time, review and thoughts. I appreciate it very much.
Comment from Wendy G
This is horrifying that they are planning to use her to murder some-one - and make it look like Jaz murdered her own lover. Pure evil. They won't spare Tiffany's life, so more murders will result from Vito's mad lust for vengeance. Well written, and of course we are hoping the next chapter will provide some kind of last-minute rescue!
Wendy
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2021
|
This is horrifying that they are planning to use her to murder some-one - and make it look like Jaz murdered her own lover. Pure evil. They won't spare Tiffany's life, so more murders will result from Vito's mad lust for vengeance. Well written, and of course we are hoping the next chapter will provide some kind of last-minute rescue!
Wendy
Comment Written 16-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2021
-
Thank you Wendy for following and enjoying. I hope I continue to peek your interest and intrigue with my story.
Hugs, Carol
Comment from barbara.wilkey
So poor Tiffany is going to murder Drake. She's being set up. Of course, it's probably supposed to be Jasmine. Can't wait for more.
Lenny cursed as he lifcted himself to a standing position. (lifted???)
He watched Lenny walk away, and then he answered. "Yeah, boss. Everything's ready to go." (comma needed after 'answered')
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2021
|
So poor Tiffany is going to murder Drake. She's being set up. Of course, it's probably supposed to be Jasmine. Can't wait for more.
Lenny cursed as he lifcted himself to a standing position. (lifted???)
He watched Lenny walk away, and then he answered. "Yeah, boss. Everything's ready to go." (comma needed after 'answered')
Comment Written 16-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2021
-
Thank you Barbara for following and enjoying. I hope I continue to peek your interest and intrigue with my story.
Hugs, Carol
Comment from Carol Clark2
Good chapter, with lots of intrigue. I was a little confused about Lenny and Drake, but I see you added them to the character list, which helps. It might be helpful to introduce them. Poor Tiffany! I hope she survives all this, and I hope someone stops this movie before any more people are killed.
Thanks for your good work.
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2021
|
Good chapter, with lots of intrigue. I was a little confused about Lenny and Drake, but I see you added them to the character list, which helps. It might be helpful to introduce them. Poor Tiffany! I hope she survives all this, and I hope someone stops this movie before any more people are killed.
Thanks for your good work.
Comment Written 16-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2021
-
Thank you Carol for following and enjoying. I hope I continue to peek your interest and intrigue with my story.
Hugs, Carol
-
Thank you for all the responses to my reviews. I'm enjoying your book. Sorry for all the issues that have been consuming your time. Blessings & prayers. Carol
