Witness
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "Baptism by Fire"Modern struggle in another world.
3 total reviews
Comment from AliMom
Excellent. Excellent characterization and splendid writing. Karsa makes me want to become part of her revolution. She and Sostrate make principle and truth worth fighting for in spite of the cost. As always your battles are descriptive, full of life and realism.
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2021
  |
Excellent. Excellent characterization and splendid writing. Karsa makes me want to become part of her revolution. She and Sostrate make principle and truth worth fighting for in spite of the cost. As always your battles are descriptive, full of life and realism.
Comment Written 06-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2021
-
Thank you very much for reading and reviewing. I was hoping I would be able to put people in Karsa?s shoes, so I?m glad you felt something. I really appreciate you giving it the time of day. I hope you have a wonderful day.
Comment from Word Junkie
Hello K.,
Wowzers, this action-packed battle scene is riveting. The writing is professional. The characters are intricate, separate, and easily identifiable. Kudos to you!
The words clicked inside of Meliton like a key in the lock of his resolve, closing his doubts.
There's no need for 'of' in the above sentence, and 'closing his doubts' is awkward. Consider, 'securing his commitment or something akin to that.
I enjoyed reading this.
Well done and write on,
~Lana
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2021
|
Hello K.,
Wowzers, this action-packed battle scene is riveting. The writing is professional. The characters are intricate, separate, and easily identifiable. Kudos to you!
The words clicked inside of Meliton like a key in the lock of his resolve, closing his doubts.
There's no need for 'of' in the above sentence, and 'closing his doubts' is awkward. Consider, 'securing his commitment or something akin to that.
I enjoyed reading this.
Well done and write on,
~Lana
Comment Written 06-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2021
-
Thank you very much for reading and reviewing. I?m glad it came out reasonably well. Thanks for taking the time to read. I hope you have a wonderful day.
Comment from Jay Squires
I keep wanting to tell you what a fine writer you are. Not that you don't need to hear it from time to time. We all do, I suppose. But sometimes it sounds like so much rain pattering on the roof. Just know I appreciate what you are doing.
The broken shards of Agathe's spectacles in my pocket felt comforting in that moment, as if her ghost was moving at my side, silent encouragement hidden in the wind. [Suberb image, this!]
The words clicked inside of Meliton like a key in the lock of his resolve, [again, good use of simile to establish your image.]
Linos smiled grimly as the second shot streaked upwards. "Good." [I'm only mentioning this as an FYI, this is the second time you have Linos smiling "grimly". Enough space/time separates the two, but I thought you might like to know.
As a reader, I feel like I'm in good hands. You are directing me exactly where you want the plot to go. I don't have to fear at some point an incongruity will the illusion you are creating. It's a good feeling, K.
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2021
|
I keep wanting to tell you what a fine writer you are. Not that you don't need to hear it from time to time. We all do, I suppose. But sometimes it sounds like so much rain pattering on the roof. Just know I appreciate what you are doing.
The broken shards of Agathe's spectacles in my pocket felt comforting in that moment, as if her ghost was moving at my side, silent encouragement hidden in the wind. [Suberb image, this!]
The words clicked inside of Meliton like a key in the lock of his resolve, [again, good use of simile to establish your image.]
Linos smiled grimly as the second shot streaked upwards. "Good." [I'm only mentioning this as an FYI, this is the second time you have Linos smiling "grimly". Enough space/time separates the two, but I thought you might like to know.
As a reader, I feel like I'm in good hands. You are directing me exactly where you want the plot to go. I don't have to fear at some point an incongruity will the illusion you are creating. It's a good feeling, K.
Comment Written 05-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2021
-
Thank you very much. I have a lot of doubts at times, so I appreciate the occasional pat on the shoulder. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review. Have a great day, and thank you again.
-
Isn't that the way it is? No matter how something is received, it's so easy to slip over into self-doubting.
