Comment from Sherry Asbury

Excellent

Whew...thought Bob was a goner. I love this type of surprise in a poem or write. You think one thing and then - boom, it all comes out as good. You have done a great job and I wish you luck in the contest!

 Comment Written 11-Nov-2021

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reply by the author on 11-Nov-2021

Thank you! The story has won second place! I'm proud of myself!

Comment from Aspiring2Write

Excellent

This is a great fictional story Raul. Just to let you know. Bob said he did something wrong even though he didn't do anything. Other than that it flows really well, and you should be proud of it. Wish you the best in your future writing.

Yours Truly,
Joshua Law

 Comment Written 11-Nov-2021

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reply by the author on 11-Nov-2021

Thank you! I am proud of it and thanks again! :)

reply by Aspiring2Write on 11-Nov-2021

You are welcome.

Comment from Annette R.

Excellent

The citizens were (not wer) safe, just a typo. Not sure why there is a warning for language but if it's for damn I have seen d@mn. I like the picture as it fits the story well. It's so human to think we are in trouble. Like the happy ending.

 Comment Written 09-Nov-2021

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reply by the author on 09-Nov-2021

Thank you and for your help! Is it now good enough for five stars? Please, check it.

Comment from Elizabeth Emerald

Excellent

Uplifting story! By coincidence, my friend has just been promoted to lieutenant.


typos:
I will make it up to you. I pormise=>promise," Bob replied COMMA concerned.

sargeant=>sergeant

 Comment Written 02-Nov-2021

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reply by the author on 03-Nov-2021

Thank you!

Comment from tfawcus

Excellent

His boss certainly has a warped sense of humour. Judging from Bob's reaction, I wondered if he really had done something wrong but covered it up successfully.
I enjoyed reading your response to this challenge.

 Comment Written 02-Nov-2021

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reply by the author on 02-Nov-2021

Thank you!