Graduation Day
The sky is the limit for new graduates.8 total reviews
Comment from Paul McFarland
A rare six stars from me - especially with free verse. I love all the things that you have mentioned that the graduate could do. If nothing else, it encourages one to use their imagination.
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A rare six stars from me - especially with free verse. I love all the things that you have mentioned that the graduate could do. If nothing else, it encourages one to use their imagination.
Comment Written 01-Nov-2021
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A great tribute to all those who are about to graduate and the sky is the limit and the world is at their feet with endless opportunities for them all, I enjoyed the optimism in these words Mary, love Dolly x
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A great tribute to all those who are about to graduate and the sky is the limit and the world is at their feet with endless opportunities for them all, I enjoyed the optimism in these words Mary, love Dolly x
Comment Written 31-Oct-2021
Comment from Pantygynt
This is effectively a poetic rendering of the old adage to aim for the stars and at least you will get over the hedge. And that is not a bad philosophy.
After the third line I felt this lost some of its freedom since every line started with a stressed syllable like line of trochaic metre. It also gave the piece a somewhat didactic feel as the instructions are hammered out. This is fairly easily remedied an dwouldnt need to apply to every line. The addition odf an unstressed syllable from time to time can also improve the flow by creating enjambment.
For example:
'dodge an asteroid to
fill up a black hole and
Jump rope...'
The, a, an, then, while, and, when are all useful words for achieving this.
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This is effectively a poetic rendering of the old adage to aim for the stars and at least you will get over the hedge. And that is not a bad philosophy.
After the third line I felt this lost some of its freedom since every line started with a stressed syllable like line of trochaic metre. It also gave the piece a somewhat didactic feel as the instructions are hammered out. This is fairly easily remedied an dwouldnt need to apply to every line. The addition odf an unstressed syllable from time to time can also improve the flow by creating enjambment.
For example:
'dodge an asteroid to
fill up a black hole and
Jump rope...'
The, a, an, then, while, and, when are all useful words for achieving this.
Comment Written 30-Oct-2021
Comment from Mary Shifman
This is a lovely and encouraging poem for those young people starting out on the road to adulthood. I really liked the descriptive, if impossible that you recommended because they were poetic and delightful to think about. Good luck in the contest.
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This is a lovely and encouraging poem for those young people starting out on the road to adulthood. I really liked the descriptive, if impossible that you recommended because they were poetic and delightful to think about. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 30-Oct-2021
Comment from royowen
I like the way your nicely scribed free verse poem speaks in metaphorical language that sings of the efforts of about anything that is worthwhile meaning something, without digging for buried treasure, on will dig up fool's gold, well done, good luck, blessings Roy
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I like the way your nicely scribed free verse poem speaks in metaphorical language that sings of the efforts of about anything that is worthwhile meaning something, without digging for buried treasure, on will dig up fool's gold, well done, good luck, blessings Roy
Comment Written 30-Oct-2021
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This Free Verse Poem contest entry speaks about graduation day, more inspiringly that the sky is the limit for new graduates, realistically, to dream practically; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this, happy reviewing this; God Bless you, my good writer, post more, dear. ALCREATOR
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This Free Verse Poem contest entry speaks about graduation day, more inspiringly that the sky is the limit for new graduates, realistically, to dream practically; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this, happy reviewing this; God Bless you, my good writer, post more, dear. ALCREATOR
Comment Written 30-Oct-2021
Comment from Word Junkie
Hi Mary,
This is an imaginative, lighthearted poem and it includes loads of strong imagery. It flows well. It's a fun read, and I thank you for sharing it.
Best wishes,
~Lana
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Hi Mary,
This is an imaginative, lighthearted poem and it includes loads of strong imagery. It flows well. It's a fun read, and I thank you for sharing it.
Best wishes,
~Lana
Comment Written 30-Oct-2021
Comment from Modee
I find how surprising it is how many college graduates don't follow the degree they've earned. Many end up in a completely different field - which is good and bad. If the degree was earned to please someone else - a father or mother, etc. - then it's better to follow your dreams and onto something else. Thanks for this one.
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I find how surprising it is how many college graduates don't follow the degree they've earned. Many end up in a completely different field - which is good and bad. If the degree was earned to please someone else - a father or mother, etc. - then it's better to follow your dreams and onto something else. Thanks for this one.
Comment Written 30-Oct-2021
