DARK NIGHT AND DARK DAY
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Dark Night & Day"Romance of a new Alaskan
12 total reviews
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
This is excellent! I very much enjoyed this first chapter and want to learn more about what is going on with the ex, and now the new? I'll catch up and continue reading your story. Well done. (I don't know your name?) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2023
  |
This is excellent! I very much enjoyed this first chapter and want to learn more about what is going on with the ex, and now the new? I'll catch up and continue reading your story. Well done. (I don't know your name?) Sandra xx
Comment Written 01-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2023
-
A big thanks for going back so long ago. As you must notice I'm a lazy writer and am slow at following along.
Comment from forestport12
Very engaging beginning. I love the beginning descriptions of the characters with just the right touch of keen descriptions given. Never noticed that about your style before. Realistic dialogue too. I think you found your stride in the genre.
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2021
 |
Very engaging beginning. I love the beginning descriptions of the characters with just the right touch of keen descriptions given. Never noticed that about your style before. Realistic dialogue too. I think you found your stride in the genre.
Comment Written 27-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2021
-
Thank you so much. Your comments make me get more serious about dreaming up progress on this one.
-
I think this has potential. I really do. I've been taking a writing break, so haven't posted. Always great to stay in touch with my close writing friends for all the positive years!
Comment from royowen
I enjoyed this episode, I've never met or spoken to anyone from Alaska, although I've watched quite a few docos and shows set there. I liked the structure and the easy way you wrote this, it's a very easy to read story, good, sound characters, and as far as I can, a good theme. Well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2021
|
I enjoyed this episode, I've never met or spoken to anyone from Alaska, although I've watched quite a few docos and shows set there. I liked the structure and the easy way you wrote this, it's a very easy to read story, good, sound characters, and as far as I can, a good theme. Well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 27-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2021
-
Thank you for giving me encouragement to go on with this one. I very much appreciate your comments, Roy.
-
Well done
Comment from Sherry Asbury
Very crisp, interesting story about Alaska - have never been there, but have read a lot about it. This is a cute story and I could see a lot of ways it could go.
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2021
|
Very crisp, interesting story about Alaska - have never been there, but have read a lot about it. This is a cute story and I could see a lot of ways it could go.
Comment Written 27-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2021
-
Thanks for reading this. Very encouraging. Hope I come up with good points it's way to go.
Comment from CL Huth
I like this opening chapter. No info dump, great character introduction, solid movement with realistic dialogue. Honestly, my only critiques are a couple of technical things:
In paragraph 5, I was confused for a minute when I thought the POV of the story had changed from Marjorie to Roger. I had to read it a couple of times to make sure. Maybe when he looks at her, you can do it from her POV? Like, 'blue eyes swept over her. His smile signaled approval of the long silky strands of hair framing a face she'd been told was pretty.'
Also, 'no delay, Mam' should be 'ma'am'. No need to capitalize.
Otherwise, I'll be following you for more of this!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2021
 |
I like this opening chapter. No info dump, great character introduction, solid movement with realistic dialogue. Honestly, my only critiques are a couple of technical things:
In paragraph 5, I was confused for a minute when I thought the POV of the story had changed from Marjorie to Roger. I had to read it a couple of times to make sure. Maybe when he looks at her, you can do it from her POV? Like, 'blue eyes swept over her. His smile signaled approval of the long silky strands of hair framing a face she'd been told was pretty.'
Also, 'no delay, Mam' should be 'ma'am'. No need to capitalize.
Otherwise, I'll be following you for more of this!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 27-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2021
-
Thanks so much for reading this. I appreciate your comments.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
So we already have a new man entered into her life. I already like him. LOL I can't wait to read more. You have a good start with this novel. Keep up the good work and thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2021
|
So we already have a new man entered into her life. I already like him. LOL I can't wait to read more. You have a good start with this novel. Keep up the good work and thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 27-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2021
-
You are encouraging. Thanks for taking time to read this and letting me know.
Comment from Shirley McLain
I have to do some back reading to catch up with this great story. I will bookmark it. You did a fantastic job, and I didn't find any errors. I have missed your work and Fanstory. Have a great day. Shirley
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2021
|
I have to do some back reading to catch up with this great story. I will bookmark it. You did a fantastic job, and I didn't find any errors. I have missed your work and Fanstory. Have a great day. Shirley
Comment Written 27-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2021
-
Thanks so much for your encouragement, Shirley. You make me more determined to think of progress on this one.
Comment from Mary Shifman
This is an intriguing beginning to a novel. You captured out interest very quickly and held it throughout the chapter. I want to know what happened with Henry, who Roger is and what's going to happen next. I look forward to the next installment.
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2021
|
This is an intriguing beginning to a novel. You captured out interest very quickly and held it throughout the chapter. I want to know what happened with Henry, who Roger is and what's going to happen next. I look forward to the next installment.
Comment Written 27-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2021
-
Thanks so much for reading this start and showing at least of couple of points needed next.
Comment from Seshadri_Sreenivasan
I visited Alaska 4 years ago in the summer as a tourist with my family and spent some lovely days visiting interesting places. Your story, naturally interested me and I liked the authentic imagery you have created. The dialogues are natural and move the story forward. Much enjoyed.
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2021
|
I visited Alaska 4 years ago in the summer as a tourist with my family and spent some lovely days visiting interesting places. Your story, naturally interested me and I liked the authentic imagery you have created. The dialogues are natural and move the story forward. Much enjoyed.
Comment Written 27-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2021
-
Thanks so much for taking time to read this beginning chapter. I hope I can make a winter story interesting.
Comment from MissMerri
I love the authenticity you bring to your stories. You know so much about Alaska and that certainly helps, but you also know how to write, bringing it to life for your readers. I also enjoy your stories because of the way you show your characters and make them real. The effective use of dialogue does help tremendously to show just what the personalities are like. This sounds as if it could be a story for a Hallmark movie but I will wait and see. A most captivating beginning at any rate.
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2021
|
I love the authenticity you bring to your stories. You know so much about Alaska and that certainly helps, but you also know how to write, bringing it to life for your readers. I also enjoy your stories because of the way you show your characters and make them real. The effective use of dialogue does help tremendously to show just what the personalities are like. This sounds as if it could be a story for a Hallmark movie but I will wait and see. A most captivating beginning at any rate.
Comment Written 27-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2021
-
You are wonderful to take time to read this. Love your comments! What you really missed telling me is what happens next -- that's what I'm trying to decide. Many thanks, MissM.
