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Viewing comments for Chapter 52 "What next"With their call stalled, Liz & Linda begin walking
10 total reviews
Comment from country ranch writer
Getting a car fixed in an out of way place can be daunting. It can be a long drawn out process.one gets flustered when asked for identification and drivers license and such.
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2021
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Getting a car fixed in an out of way place can be daunting. It can be a long drawn out process.one gets flustered when asked for identification and drivers license and such.
Comment Written 29-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2021
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Thank you for your involved review. I know, even though Wolf presented as weird and threatening, he was right to verify authenticity.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
You have a good story going here and it has a lot of potential. Do you know you can edit your story by going to My Post and make corrections as well as taking out the odd big gaps? At the beginning it would be easier to end first line with ". . . ownership. Her fingers were . . ." Because her activities were a result of his expectations. No need to set off the Vermont flashback because she tells us it happened in the past (and is therefore a flashback). It is a very good idea to read your story carefully aloud to find when you've skipped words. Best of luck with this.
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2021
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You have a good story going here and it has a lot of potential. Do you know you can edit your story by going to My Post and make corrections as well as taking out the odd big gaps? At the beginning it would be easier to end first line with ". . . ownership. Her fingers were . . ." Because her activities were a result of his expectations. No need to set off the Vermont flashback because she tells us it happened in the past (and is therefore a flashback). It is a very good idea to read your story carefully aloud to find when you've skipped words. Best of luck with this.
Comment Written 27-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2021
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Thank you for your attentive review. I'm glad you like it. We are winding down, with only 2 more chapters. I'm already getting sad. lol
Comment from Pj Dennison
You have written another excellent chapter. You described the Wolf character so well. I could see his finger tracing over the metal of the shotgun as if it were his true love. What a sneaky fellow. He probably has an inferiority complex judging by his enamored manner with the shotgun. It was a relief that Liz and Linda finally got the car. Did Tommy get a napkin and pen in order to get Liz and Linda's telephone numbers and addresses? Yes, I will miss Liz and Linda after your last chapter. Maybe they will become a series.
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2021
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You have written another excellent chapter. You described the Wolf character so well. I could see his finger tracing over the metal of the shotgun as if it were his true love. What a sneaky fellow. He probably has an inferiority complex judging by his enamored manner with the shotgun. It was a relief that Liz and Linda finally got the car. Did Tommy get a napkin and pen in order to get Liz and Linda's telephone numbers and addresses? Yes, I will miss Liz and Linda after your last chapter. Maybe they will become a series.
Comment Written 27-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2021
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Thank you for your continual appreciative reviews. I'm already getting sad thinking of the fact there are only 2 more chapters before they go their separate ways. My next one is based on an experience I had in England in Glastonbury. It was a weird past life sensation. That was fodder for this next book. It is called The Tor.
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You are welcome.
Comment from Judy Lawless
I'm glad to learn they've got the car back and can be on their way, provided Wolf isn't contagious with the unknown virus!
You've left us with a question about what the girls are referring to at the end, Liz. We'll find out in the next chapter. Well done.
A couple of spags: "tighter than a too-small (a) rubber band around..." - remove this extra 'a'
"He headed over (to) toward the counter..." - remove the 'to'
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2021
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I'm glad to learn they've got the car back and can be on their way, provided Wolf isn't contagious with the unknown virus!
You've left us with a question about what the girls are referring to at the end, Liz. We'll find out in the next chapter. Well done.
A couple of spags: "tighter than a too-small (a) rubber band around..." - remove this extra 'a'
"He headed over (to) toward the counter..." - remove the 'to'
Comment Written 27-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2021
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Thank you for your continual appreciative reviews. I'm already getting sad thinking of the fact there are only 2 more chapters before they go their separate ways. My next one is based on an experience I had in England in Glastonbury. It was a weird past life sensation. That was fodder for this next book. It is called The Tor.
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:)
Comment from aryr
This was fantastic and an amazing continuation chapter, Liz. Poor Liz was so desperate when she couldn't find her license, it was a repeat of when she couldn't find her social security card. There was a hint of suspense when they were ready to part ways with Tommy. Very well done and greatly enjoyed. Wolf definitely was an interesting character.
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2021
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This was fantastic and an amazing continuation chapter, Liz. Poor Liz was so desperate when she couldn't find her license, it was a repeat of when she couldn't find her social security card. There was a hint of suspense when they were ready to part ways with Tommy. Very well done and greatly enjoyed. Wolf definitely was an interesting character.
Comment Written 27-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2021
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Thank so much for your continued appreciative reviews. I'm glad you're enjoying this story. Sadly, there are only a couple more chapters. I will miss this as much many others will.
It was good to receive after two 4 star reviews. When people come in cold on an author or story, how can they justifiably give 4's ...hmmm Then there are people like you that make it all go away.
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Awww, you are so welcome, Liz, it took me a bit to catch up, lol, but now I look forward to it. Dastardly 4s.
Comment from Kooky Clown
Sorry I can't give you more stars as I enjoyed reading it but I couldn't get my head round what it was all about in context with what had happened before as it is a chapter out of a book? I liked the way it is written and the general way it is put together as I could imagine the panic setting in with not being able to find her license. I found it a bit confusing with reference to the masks and the radio but perhaps that was me. Kooky.
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2021
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Sorry I can't give you more stars as I enjoyed reading it but I couldn't get my head round what it was all about in context with what had happened before as it is a chapter out of a book? I liked the way it is written and the general way it is put together as I could imagine the panic setting in with not being able to find her license. I found it a bit confusing with reference to the masks and the radio but perhaps that was me. Kooky.
Comment Written 27-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2021
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Thank you for efforts at a review. You're coming in cold into this story. I've had similar experiences. But fortunately this chapter can stand alone and be appreciated.
We are at the culmination of many adventures based upon the two ladies rescuing 10 Native teens from a trafficking operation.. I invite you to read the first 13 chapters in my portfolio about the rescue. Every chapter is suspenseful. There is no need to write a review. I just want you to treat it like a book you might read to enjoy. ***Spoiler *** Tommy, offers the ladies a place to rest & enjoy some of his cooking. He is on his way to a food festival & there is a traffic jam because of brush fires. The irony is he is the brother of one of the girls who are rescued. Enjoy it if you have the opportunity.
Comment from Cogitator
A good effort, but I found the dialogue a bit tedious. (I seldom read fiction because I suck at it.) From a social standpoint, I would guess a young writer created this post...John
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2021
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A good effort, but I found the dialogue a bit tedious. (I seldom read fiction because I suck at it.) From a social standpoint, I would guess a young writer created this post...John
Comment Written 27-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2021
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Thank you for efforts at a review. I understand the thing about the dialogue. I didn't used to have any & eveyone said, 'You need dialogue.So I took the risk. Dialogue has different rules than it did in the 60's. So I was hesitant.
You're coming in cold into this story. I've had similar experiences. But fortunately this chapter can stand alone and be appreciated.
We are at the culmination of many adventures based upon the two ladies rescuing 10 Native teens from a trafficking operation.. I invite you to read the first 13 chapters in my portfolio about the rescue. Every chapter is suspenseful. There is no need to write a review. I just want you to treat it like a book you might read to enjoy. ***Spoiler *** Tommy, offers the ladies a place to rest & enjoy some of his cooking. He is on his way to a food festival & there is a traffic jam because of brush fires. The irony is he is the brother of one of the girls who are rescued. Enjoy it if you have the opportunity.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This Chapter of the Fiction speaks about what next, on Wolf the strange Don Knotts-like garage man is testing he authenticity of the card; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this, happy reviewing this; God Bless you, my good writer, post more, dear. ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2021
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This Chapter of the Fiction speaks about what next, on Wolf the strange Don Knotts-like garage man is testing he authenticity of the card; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this, happy reviewing this; God Bless you, my good writer, post more, dear. ALCREATOR
Comment Written 27-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2021
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Thank you for your appreciative review. It was good to receive after two 4 star reviews. When people come in cold on an author or story, how can they justifiably give 4's ...hmmm Then there are people like you that make it all go away.
Comment from lyenochka
So did they already pay for Wolf for the repair? Or was that covered by the chief? You might have mentioned it. I sort of wished to know how Wolf got the car in the first time. And as they left the shop, did Wolf exit with them and lock up? I feel like I need to know what he's up to and where he is at all times.
So glad that Liz found her license and enjoyed the humor about the activities at the Vermont DMV and about license pictures in general.
You'll have to come back at another time. (needs to be in quotes)
She [was] muttering several expletives.
"Oh, that right, (that's)
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2021
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So did they already pay for Wolf for the repair? Or was that covered by the chief? You might have mentioned it. I sort of wished to know how Wolf got the car in the first time. And as they left the shop, did Wolf exit with them and lock up? I feel like I need to know what he's up to and where he is at all times.
So glad that Liz found her license and enjoyed the humor about the activities at the Vermont DMV and about license pictures in general.
You'll have to come back at another time. (needs to be in quotes)
She [was] muttering several expletives.
"Oh, that right, (that's)
Comment Written 26-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2021
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Thank you for your involved review. I've attended to your observations. Wolf certainly does seem like someone who needs watching. Earlier, Wolf mentioned the Chief jad taken care of things, but maybe I should reiterate that.
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I vaguely remembered that. But I wasn't sure after a couple of weeks. And I don't remember even from day to day. 😂. Readers here might need a reminder but in the book itself maybe not.
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I went back and had Wolf tell them the car was taken care of by Chief Lavendar & everything was fixed.
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Okay! I vaguely remembered that but it's been a few weeks! Thanks for confirming!
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***hugs***
Comment from prettybluebirds
Interesting story. I have been gone a while so must have missed the first part of your story. It is well-written and easy to follow. The descriptions are great and the dialogue is fluent and the whole story flows in a nice manner. I'm thank you for the explanation in the footnotes as it brought the whole thing together for me. Keep up the good work.
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2021
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Interesting story. I have been gone a while so must have missed the first part of your story. It is well-written and easy to follow. The descriptions are great and the dialogue is fluent and the whole story flows in a nice manner. I'm thank you for the explanation in the footnotes as it brought the whole thing together for me. Keep up the good work.
Comment Written 26-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2021
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Thank you for your positive review.
You're coming in cold into this story. I've had similar experiences. But fortunately, as you said, this chapter can stand alone and be appreciated.
We are at the culmination of many adventures based upon the two ladies rescuing 10 Native teens from a trafficking operation.. I invite you to read the first 13 chapters in my portfolio about the rescue. Every chapter is suspenseful. There is no need to write a review. I just want you to treat it like a book you might read to enjoy. ***Spoiler *** Tommy, offers the ladies a place to rest & enjoy some of his cooking. He is on his way to a food festival & there is a traffic jam because of brush fires. The irony is he is the brother of one of the girls who are rescued. Enjoy it if you have the opportunity.