Updraft
Making things right -32 total reviews
Comment from C. Gale Burnett
'Updraft' - a perfect creative title for your poem. Great wrap-up in that your last stanza includes this word and its meaning of hope rising.
As I read, I follow the narrator's thoughts of disappointment with self; trying hard to do what is right and making good decisions but seeming to fail or be misunderstood as to intentions.
I really enjoyed the rhythm and rhyme within these lines:
'my life in ruins, wearily I gaze about my rubbled walls
In piquant pain recall laughter still within these very halls'
Great imagery in this line: 'But time has past, moved on in mournful strides'.
As I read through the poem, I felt empathy for the narrator. I think we have all made decisions or mistakes that later we regret. Don't give up.
Such a great entry for the contest!
Gale
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2021
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'Updraft' - a perfect creative title for your poem. Great wrap-up in that your last stanza includes this word and its meaning of hope rising.
As I read, I follow the narrator's thoughts of disappointment with self; trying hard to do what is right and making good decisions but seeming to fail or be misunderstood as to intentions.
I really enjoyed the rhythm and rhyme within these lines:
'my life in ruins, wearily I gaze about my rubbled walls
In piquant pain recall laughter still within these very halls'
Great imagery in this line: 'But time has past, moved on in mournful strides'.
As I read through the poem, I felt empathy for the narrator. I think we have all made decisions or mistakes that later we regret. Don't give up.
Such a great entry for the contest!
Gale
Comment Written 23-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2021
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Hi Gale,
Your encouragement is illuminating so thank you deeply from my heart. We all struggle but we all must forgive each other while trying to make things right, while trying to make things right?. I am grateful for your thoughts on my poem.
Bless you :))
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Hi Gale,
Your encouragement is illuminating so thank you deeply from my heart. We all struggle but we all must forgive each other while trying to make things right, while trying to make things right?. I am grateful for your thoughts on my poem.
Bless you :))
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I believe everyone should be given the chance to make things right and let trust be rebuilt. To do that, the other side must be forgiving no matter how hard the challenge. Relationships of any kind take work, love, forgiveness. I talk from experience and the Good Book.
Hang in there!
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Thank you very much for this upbeat message. I really appreciate your concern :))
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
We don't always get it right in life and we are forever learning, I was recently careless with someone's heart and regret it as people have been careless with mine also, I behaved in an arrogant way and was put in my place and I deserved it. All we can do is move on and learn from our experiences, well chose words here, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
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reply by the author on 23-Oct-2021
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We don't always get it right in life and we are forever learning, I was recently careless with someone's heart and regret it as people have been careless with mine also, I behaved in an arrogant way and was put in my place and I deserved it. All we can do is move on and learn from our experiences, well chose words here, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2021
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Dolly,
Thank you for confiding in me as I have with this poem. Yes, all of us have failed in our best efforts even while trying? life is hard and all we can really do, is do our level best and as you so wisely said, all we can do is move on and learn from our experiences and mistakes.
Thank you.
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Dolly,
Thank you for confiding in me as I have with this poem. Yes, all of us have failed in our best efforts even while trying? life is hard and all we can really do, is do our level best and as you so wisely said, all we can do is move on and learn from our experiences and mistakes.
Thank you.
