Reviews from

Bright Horizons

Amphibrach meter

33 total reviews 
Comment from damommy
Excellent
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Well done. I like this meter very much and the rhymes are perfect. It's a hard meter, but you've done a great job with it. The positive attitude throughout brightens the day.

 Comment Written 18-Oct-2021


reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
    Hi Yvonne. Thank you very much!!! By the way, I love the new photo that shows how lovely you are! Thanks again.

    Melissa
reply by damommy on 20-Oct-2021
    It shows how old I am, but thank you for being so sweet.
Comment from Sherry Asbury
Excellent
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This is such a lovely poem. You have written it well and your last verse is wonderful. We should be thankful each day to be alive, even if our life is difficult - it beats the alternative. Best of luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 18-Oct-2021


reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
    Hi Sherry. Thank so much for your lovely comments!!

    Melissa
Comment from dragonpoet
Excellent
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Hi Melissa,
The words and artwork show the beauty and hope of the sun rising to start a new day. You give good advice in this smoothly metered and easily rhyme poem.
Good luck in the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Joan

 Comment Written 18-Oct-2021


reply by the author on 18-Oct-2021
    Hello there Joan. Thank you for your lovely words about this poem. I hope you have a wonderful and uplifting day!

    Melissa
reply by dragonpoet on 18-Oct-2021
    No problem.
    Have a great week.
    Joan
Comment from PoemsOfDD
Excellent
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First off, what an amazing picture. It is so clear and colourful and the
mountains in the distance beckoning. I really enjoyed reading this -
No Rules poem contest entry. It rhymes well and the content itself is
reflective and appreciative of nature, right up my alley. I like how the
final stanza is a reminder for the reader to see each day as a gift and not take it or things for granted. Well done on this uplifting poem and best of luck in the competition.

 Comment Written 18-Oct-2021


reply by the author on 18-Oct-2021
    Hi DD. Thank you for your encouraging comments on this poem. I appreciate your words and hope they do uplift others as they read. Hugs!!

    Melissa
Comment from Pantygynt
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Ah, yes. So if it ain't one it must be the other. Lol. This is a fine piece of amphibrach metre poetry, and I wouldn't want it changed at all. But do you remember our struggles to produce apiece without the catalectic 'b' line. In theory I knew it had to be possible to end comfortably on a feminine rhyme. Using your poem as a pattern I reworked it to do just that - I think.

Whenever the sun breaks upon the horizon
awakening dawn with its golden embraces,
soft trills from the wrens blend with gentle doves cooing
returning warm greetings with delicate traces

of dewdrops reflecting each sunbeam arising;
sheer wisps of old fog hanging tall in the trees is
a stirring of life come with dawn and the bright sun
awakened by moods of the whimsical breezes.

Whenever the sun breaks upon your horizon
confirming life's cycle as darkness has vanished,
each moment is precious, a gift to be treasured,
enjoy the small blessings as night's terror's banished.

 Comment Written 18-Oct-2021


reply by the author on 18-Oct-2021
    Wow, I loved your rendition and the changed endings. I especially liked the rhyme vanished ~ banished. Clever of you!! Thank you for your wonderful reply to this one... I really wish you would gift us with more of your poetry. I know you are immersed in your book, but your verses are really good and I would love to read more of them. :). Thank you.

    Melissa
reply by Pantygynt on 18-Oct-2021
    What a lovely thing to say. Thank you so much. Perhaps when I have finished the next book of the saga I will retire to poetry.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I adore the meter, very clever, fine rhymes and the sentiment here is refreshing Melissa. Very few poets attempt this difficult meter but you ran with the ball and scored here, much enjoyed, love Dolly x



 Comment Written 18-Oct-2021


reply by the author on 18-Oct-2021
    Thank you Dolly. I really, really like writing in amphibrach meter, even though it is a challenge to get that rhythm of unstressed, stressed, unstressed flowing at first in a three syllable foot... and on this one, I was lucky to find a matching photo afterwards. :). I'm really glad you liked it.

    Melissa
Comment from Wendy G
Excellent
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A beautiful very lyrical poem with such lovely imagery of serenity. Your poem includes a message to treasure each new day for what it holds, as well as to have eyes to discern the beauty and enjoy this peaceful time of day. Best wishes for your entry.
Wendy

 Comment Written 18-Oct-2021


reply by the author on 18-Oct-2021
    Hi Wendy. Thank you for your encouraging comments on this poem. I appreciate your words and hope they uplift others as they read. Hugs!!

    Melissa
Comment from lyenochka
Excellent
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Amen! Great job with this amphibrachic meter which is not easy to do! You've done these before and you always do it well. I love the message to treasure each day and remember all of the blessings the Lord gives us.

 Comment Written 18-Oct-2021


reply by the author on 18-Oct-2021
    Hi sweet Helen. Thank you for your encouraging comments on this poem. I appreciate your words and hope they uplift others as they read. Hugs!!

    Melissa
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
Excellent
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'Bright Horizons', is an extremely well-written and delightfully descriptive piece. Penned with craft and skill. This talented poet's work was a pleasure to both read and review. Good luck with the contest. My fingers are crossed for you! I look forward to seeing your next post!

 Comment Written 18-Oct-2021


reply by the author on 18-Oct-2021
    Hi there Duchess. Thank you for your encouraging comments on this poem. I appreciate your words and hope they uplift others as they read. Hugs!!

    Melissa
reply by duchessofdrumborg on 18-Oct-2021

    Hi there Melissa. You certainly deserved the encouraging words.
    Hugs,
    the Duchess x
Comment from Mary Shifman
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is one of the most beautiful and uplifting poems that I've read. It made my eyes sting. It is eloquent and the imagery is marvelous. This is a poem I could read over and over. My favorite phrase is: "sheer wisps of old fog hangs tall in the trees." Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 17-Oct-2021


reply by the author on 18-Oct-2021
    Hello Mary. Thank you for your lovely comments. They encouraged me so much. I am delighted that you enjoyed this poem!!

    Melissa
reply by Mary Shifman on 18-Oct-2021
    You are very welcome.