Bright Horizons
Amphibrach meter33 total reviews
Comment from tempeste
Ciao Sugarray!
I'm in bed reading your poem and how you describe in detail the break of dawn and the fauna that awakens overwhelms my heart with warmth and joy because I have witnessed it all.
And to think there are people like my ex boss that have not experienced dawn , seen morning dewdrops glisten because they are just too lazy to get out of bed.
Like you say:
each moment is precious, a gift to be treasured.
The artwork is beautiful too .. so many different shades of greens , my favourite hue...and those red flowers are like warm kisses.
I'm going to close my eyes and drift to sleep in all that bliss you described ( smile)
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2021
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Ciao Sugarray!
I'm in bed reading your poem and how you describe in detail the break of dawn and the fauna that awakens overwhelms my heart with warmth and joy because I have witnessed it all.
And to think there are people like my ex boss that have not experienced dawn , seen morning dewdrops glisten because they are just too lazy to get out of bed.
Like you say:
each moment is precious, a gift to be treasured.
The artwork is beautiful too .. so many different shades of greens , my favourite hue...and those red flowers are like warm kisses.
I'm going to close my eyes and drift to sleep in all that bliss you described ( smile)
Comment Written 04-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2021
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Hello Franca. Good night, sweet friend. I hope my little verse gives you wonderful dreams of warm colors and beautiful vistas! Thanks so much.
Melissa
Comment from phill doran
Hello Melissa,
I have been remiss in not reviewing this, which is an excellent piece of work and one for which you should be congratulated.
The subject matter is definitely something you personally respond to, and you have a gentle, appreciative phrasing whenever you speak of the natural world.
I cannot say I have experience writing amphibrach, but I judge this work on its sound, and the ease with which the reader finds a rhyme, and find this is great writing in both respects.
Your work is very strong and your enjoyment of writing always comes though.
I wish you well with your continued writing and I trust that you are yours stay safe and well.
cheers
phill
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2021
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Hello Melissa,
I have been remiss in not reviewing this, which is an excellent piece of work and one for which you should be congratulated.
The subject matter is definitely something you personally respond to, and you have a gentle, appreciative phrasing whenever you speak of the natural world.
I cannot say I have experience writing amphibrach, but I judge this work on its sound, and the ease with which the reader finds a rhyme, and find this is great writing in both respects.
Your work is very strong and your enjoyment of writing always comes though.
I wish you well with your continued writing and I trust that you are yours stay safe and well.
cheers
phill
Comment Written 08-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2021
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Hello there and so sorry for the late reply to your lovely review. Life happens and my mother-in-law is in Intensive Care, so I have not been active lately. Hopefully, since she is improving, I will feel the draw to write. Your comments really encourage me and egg me on :). I love writing in amphibrach meter. It seems to be a lilting cadence that speaks to me... I have made it my own. Thanks again, Phill, for your delightful words of encouragement!
Melissa
Comment from Dawn Munro
WOW! This one is going into my bookcase, not only so I can enjoy it more than once, but to serve as a teaching tool...
I love it -- this meter, I think I might try it,
inspired (of course) by this stunning template!
I can't say my poem will be great, so who'll buy it?
But honestly, I really don't care a whit. (*grin*)
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2021
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WOW! This one is going into my bookcase, not only so I can enjoy it more than once, but to serve as a teaching tool...
I love it -- this meter, I think I might try it,
inspired (of course) by this stunning template!
I can't say my poem will be great, so who'll buy it?
But honestly, I really don't care a whit. (*grin*)
Comment Written 02-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2021
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Hello Dawn. Thank you for your wonderful comments and review. So very glad you like it. Hugs, my friend.
Melissa
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Hugs back, Melissa -- so sorry for my late response!
Comment from Carol Clark2
This is a lovely poem of the sun's breaking through at dawn. I love the consistent meter and rhyme scheme throughout. Also, the imagery is great. I particularly like the last stanza, reminding of the small blessings that come our way. Nicely done. Sorry I have no six left. Blessings. Carol
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2021
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This is a lovely poem of the sun's breaking through at dawn. I love the consistent meter and rhyme scheme throughout. Also, the imagery is great. I particularly like the last stanza, reminding of the small blessings that come our way. Nicely done. Sorry I have no six left. Blessings. Carol
Comment Written 23-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2021
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Hello Carol. Thank you for your delightful review. I'm very glad that you liked it and the meter. The Amphibrach meter is a fave of mine :)
Melissa
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In all my classes on lit & poetry, I'd never heard the term Amphibrach, so I had to do a little research. Glad to learn something new.
Comment from Gloria ....
Hey Melissa. This is a fine entry into the no rules contest. Lots of good feelings generated in each stanza.
The amphibrach metre works well except this section here:
Clear dewdrops reflect each sunbeam as it rises;
sheer wisps of old fog hang tall in the trees;
There is one syllable missing in the second line, and in the first line I suggest something like this:
Clear dewdrops reflect on each sunbeam arising;
A good upbeat message here, and delivered with the clarity of imagery and place.
A most enjoyable read today, and I wish you great luck in the contest. :))
Gloria
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
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Hey Melissa. This is a fine entry into the no rules contest. Lots of good feelings generated in each stanza.
The amphibrach metre works well except this section here:
Clear dewdrops reflect each sunbeam as it rises;
sheer wisps of old fog hang tall in the trees;
There is one syllable missing in the second line, and in the first line I suggest something like this:
Clear dewdrops reflect on each sunbeam arising;
A good upbeat message here, and delivered with the clarity of imagery and place.
A most enjoyable read today, and I wish you great luck in the contest. :))
Gloria
Comment Written 19-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
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Hello Gloria. Thanks for the really great review. I will take another look at those lines and try to rework them. So appreciate you and all you do for us on FS... I like reading your comments in the Forum sometimes ~ when I can get over there. LOL.
Melissa
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LOL. You should come into the forum from time to time. It would be good to have more participation. Great "meeting" you, and I look forward to reading more fine poetry from your quarter. Incidentally the poetic form you write that I most connect with personally are your sonnets. Take care, and be well.
Gloria
Comment from Janice Canerdy
Your poem is excellent in every respect--skillfully written with a sustained rhyming pattern and an appealing rhythm and vividly descriptive of the blessing that begin when we first wake up each day.
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
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Your poem is excellent in every respect--skillfully written with a sustained rhyming pattern and an appealing rhythm and vividly descriptive of the blessing that begin when we first wake up each day.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
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Thank you very much, Janice. I am delighted that you liked this one and thought it had vivid lines . Hugs, my friend.
Melissa
Comment from Chrissy710
Hi Melissa. A lovely poem that reflects the rising sun and all that it shines on. Although this is a No rules poetry contest and your meter and rhyme is spot on and flows well, my only comment would be that line five
Clear dewdrops reflect each sunbeam as it rises, didn't flow evenly for me perhaps
Clear dewdrops reflect each sunbeam (on rising) instead of as it rises how ever only my opinion and fell free to ignore it. Otherwise lovely writing and good luck in the contest
Cheers Chris
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
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Hi Melissa. A lovely poem that reflects the rising sun and all that it shines on. Although this is a No rules poetry contest and your meter and rhyme is spot on and flows well, my only comment would be that line five
Clear dewdrops reflect each sunbeam as it rises, didn't flow evenly for me perhaps
Clear dewdrops reflect each sunbeam (on rising) instead of as it rises how ever only my opinion and fell free to ignore it. Otherwise lovely writing and good luck in the contest
Cheers Chris
Comment Written 18-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
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Hi Chris... you are the second one to comment on those lines, so I am going over to take a look and reword them. Appreciate your feedback and helpful suggestions!!!
Melissa
Comment from Ulla
Hi Melissa it's good to see you back and then with such a lovely poem. You know, I've always enjoyed to read your poems and this certainly is no different. It's beautifully rendered. Good luck in the contest. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
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Hi Melissa it's good to see you back and then with such a lovely poem. You know, I've always enjoyed to read your poems and this certainly is no different. It's beautifully rendered. Good luck in the contest. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 18-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
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Thanks so much, Ulla. So glad you liked it. I appreciate the comments that you like to read my poems. You are such a talented writer that I really take that comment to heart!!
Melissa
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Awe, Thank you. What a lovely compliment. xx
Comment from nancy_e_davis
This is a lovely poem, Melissa. Great imagery of a world awakening after a long night's sleep. I thought the last verse to be very well done my dear. Good luck in the contest. Nancy:)
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
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This is a lovely poem, Melissa. Great imagery of a world awakening after a long night's sleep. I thought the last verse to be very well done my dear. Good luck in the contest. Nancy:)
Comment Written 18-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
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Hello Nancy. Thank you so very much! I appreciate you!
Melisa
Comment from robyn corum
Mel,
How beautiful! We don't see a lot of these kinds of varied meter around here. It's a joy to find it and to see it done so beautifully. *smile*
I loved the images, too. Especially the touch of wind. Deeeelightful~
One small note:
*sheer wisps of old fog hangs tall in the trees;
--> wisps hang
--> delete the 's'
Thanks!
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
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Mel,
How beautiful! We don't see a lot of these kinds of varied meter around here. It's a joy to find it and to see it done so beautifully. *smile*
I loved the images, too. Especially the touch of wind. Deeeelightful~
One small note:
*sheer wisps of old fog hangs tall in the trees;
--> wisps hang
--> delete the 's'
Thanks!
Comment Written 18-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
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Hi Robyn. Thanks for the heads up on the "s". I had gone back and forth on it ~ glad you clarified it. I have changed it. Hugs!!!
Melissa
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sure!
