Creepy Restaurant
Ghosts haunt a friendly restaurant.10 total reviews
Comment from Pj Dennison
I liked the twist when Shelia and her friends are accused of committing the murders. Your plot is well-defined and there is a couple of elements of surprise. I wonder how the restaurant is rated in Yelp. It's an excellent scary story. Best wishes for the contest.
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2021
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I liked the twist when Shelia and her friends are accused of committing the murders. Your plot is well-defined and there is a couple of elements of surprise. I wonder how the restaurant is rated in Yelp. It's an excellent scary story. Best wishes for the contest.
Comment Written 22-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2021
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Thank you! It won third place.
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Wow! That's great! You are welcome too.
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Thank you!
Comment from ShirleyT1
You've done a great job in meeting the requirements for the writing prompt. Great supernatural story with twists and turns, and especially mystery. Good job!
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2021
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You've done a great job in meeting the requirements for the writing prompt. Great supernatural story with twists and turns, and especially mystery. Good job!
Comment Written 21-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2021
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Thank you!
Comment from writer723
I really enjoyed your story. It is spooky and engaging. Your setting and pacing were well thought out. The scenario was intriguing and the words flowed freely. Your offered an insightful glimpse inside the world of the supernatural. Wonderful job!
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2021
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I really enjoyed your story. It is spooky and engaging. Your setting and pacing were well thought out. The scenario was intriguing and the words flowed freely. Your offered an insightful glimpse inside the world of the supernatural. Wonderful job!
Comment Written 19-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2021
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Thank you!
Comment from Eunice Amero
That was awful. To be blamed for something you didnt do is worse. You did a good job. I. Love going to restaurants. But if l were the caller l would had left and then they wouldnt had got accused. Good work
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2021
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That was awful. To be blamed for something you didnt do is worse. You did a good job. I. Love going to restaurants. But if l were the caller l would had left and then they wouldnt had got accused. Good work
Comment Written 19-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2021
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Thank you!
Comment from judiverse
Your story has a great supernatural feel. There is a ring of truth to it, too, in that sometimes those who report a crime are accused of being the ones who committed it. It would be hard for the police to capture the ghosts, though. Great contest entry, and best of luck. Remember to keep your tenses consistent. You've used past tense pretty consistently, so change take to took in the second paragraph. Sometimes you can get along without the "he said and other identifiers, especially if the conversation's between two people. judi
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2021
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Your story has a great supernatural feel. There is a ring of truth to it, too, in that sometimes those who report a crime are accused of being the ones who committed it. It would be hard for the police to capture the ghosts, though. Great contest entry, and best of luck. Remember to keep your tenses consistent. You've used past tense pretty consistently, so change take to took in the second paragraph. Sometimes you can get along without the "he said and other identifiers, especially if the conversation's between two people. judi
Comment Written 17-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2021
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Thank you!
Comment from LJbutterfly
Hi Raul,
This is a very scary supernatural story that includes ghosts, friends, and the police. The police will never know there were really ghosts in the restaurant and that they may come back next year. You did a great job.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2021
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Hi Raul,
This is a very scary supernatural story that includes ghosts, friends, and the police. The police will never know there were really ghosts in the restaurant and that they may come back next year. You did a great job.
Comment Written 17-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2021
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Thank you!
Comment from Ric Myworld
Now this is some scary story. And the scariest part of all is that no one believed Sara, Sheila, and their friends that the ghosts were the ones who had done the killings. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2021
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Now this is some scary story. And the scariest part of all is that no one believed Sara, Sheila, and their friends that the ghosts were the ones who had done the killings. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 17-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2021
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Thank you!
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You are most welcome and deserving. Good to see you expanding your genres. I look forward to reading more. Ric
Comment from nomi338
Well I guess they had no choice but to blame the humans who called. After all, you cannot arrest ghosts, especially ghosts who were killing people. They would also be able to kill the police as well. Good story. Thanks for posting it.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2021
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Well I guess they had no choice but to blame the humans who called. After all, you cannot arrest ghosts, especially ghosts who were killing people. They would also be able to kill the police as well. Good story. Thanks for posting it.
Comment Written 17-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2021
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Thank you!
Comment from Gert sherwood
Ghosts haunt a friendly restaurant.
Creepy Restaurant
Raul1 I read your unusual and yes creepy supernatural story.
And your notes at the bottom of your witting left me wondering if there a mystical beings
Gert
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2021
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Ghosts haunt a friendly restaurant.
Creepy Restaurant
Raul1 I read your unusual and yes creepy supernatural story.
And your notes at the bottom of your witting left me wondering if there a mystical beings
Gert
Comment Written 16-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2021
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Thank you!
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You are welcome Raul
Gert
ra
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You are welcome Raul
Gert
Comment from Janetsue
It is understandable why the 911 Operator thought it was a prank call because it is hard to believe in supernatural ghosts unless someone is personally experiencing the situation. This is a good story for the October chilling season. It would seem that the restaurant is not so friendly after all! Some typos to consider updating:
A few weeks passed, and they finished the cas (case) file of what happened that night. They figured out that Sara, Sheila, and her friends made the prank call dailing (dialing) 911
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2021
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It is understandable why the 911 Operator thought it was a prank call because it is hard to believe in supernatural ghosts unless someone is personally experiencing the situation. This is a good story for the October chilling season. It would seem that the restaurant is not so friendly after all! Some typos to consider updating:
A few weeks passed, and they finished the cas (case) file of what happened that night. They figured out that Sara, Sheila, and her friends made the prank call dailing (dialing) 911
Comment Written 16-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2021
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Thank you! I'm happy you enjoyed my story! I have fixed the mistakes. Thank you for your help!
