Reviews from

Trick or Treat

A trick-or-treat experience

48 total reviews 
Comment from Empress of All
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Dear Paul,
Congratulations on your win. Well deserved.
I loved the rhythm of the story and how each verse flowed into the next. You have definitely mastered the art of "showing" rather than "telling".

I'm looking forward to sharing this story with my grandchildren. What a treat!

 Comment Written 25-Oct-2021


reply by the author on 25-Oct-2021
    Thank you, Your Highness. It was a fun write. Hope your grandchildren enjoy it.
Comment from Liz O'Neill
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is a great story. The reader is invited to project their own perception or experience into some of these details. Deviant me wondered why yhry had to pay a piece of candy. Then I mellowed. But never would have thought of the little boy being the elf. Great message. This is A+ work.

 Comment Written 24-Oct-2021


reply by the author on 24-Oct-2021
    Thanks for the review, Liz, and thanks for your kind words. It took me a bit to come up with the twist at the end.
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Another charming Halloween poem--I read your other earlier--nearly skipped this, thinking it was the same one. Delightful twist in the closer.

sugg Their candy with their cripple=>crippled friend.

 Comment Written 22-Oct-2021


reply by the author on 23-Oct-2021
    Thanks again, Liz. It's probably just the way we talk in Downeast Maine, but we use cripple as an adjective in a case like this.
Comment from Senyai
Excellent
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Hi Paul,

Wow, this is fantastic and was in the great Ray Bradbury vein. The little boy who was lame was the elf all along hahahaha! Great story of Halloween and kindness running through the good natured fun. Loving it!

Enjoyed your perfect rhyme and meter of which you are truly a master :))

Always,
Senyai

 Comment Written 22-Oct-2021


reply by the author on 22-Oct-2021
    Thanks Senyai. I appreciate the reference to Ray Bradbury, one of the all time great writers.
reply by Senyai on 22-Oct-2021
    Love Ray Bradbury and the Halloween Tree?your delightful poem reminded of that little book of his 😉
Comment from Kooky Clown
Excellent
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Excellent I had an inkling on where this was going to end but I wasn't sure. It was a great poem and a lovely ending with a kind of twist to it which I enjoyed , I am sure children would love to either read this or have it read to them.

 Comment Written 22-Oct-2021


reply by the author on 22-Oct-2021
    Thanks, Kooky. It was a fun write.
Comment from Chrissy710
Excellent
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Hi Paul.
Congratulations on your win This is a great poem and I just knew it would be the crippled boy ha ha . A fun poem well written and I enjoyed your imagination and compassion

In Australia Halloween is relatively new we never went trick or treating when I was a kid but sone do now
Cheers Chris

 Comment Written 21-Oct-2021


reply by the author on 21-Oct-2021
    Thanks, Chris. Glad that Halloween has finally made it Down Under.
Comment from jenintorre
Excellent
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What a lovely little story in a poem. I found it so uplifting. I was not notified by fanstory of this poem although I am a fan. I only read it by chance. That is bad. Blessings Jen.

 Comment Written 21-Oct-2021


reply by the author on 21-Oct-2021
    Thanks for the review, Jen. Have you got your costume ready?
Comment from Raul1
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I have enjoyed reading your poem. It is interesting but not scary at all. It is a good poem. It is clear and concise. Thank you for sharing! I like your poem. Best wishes in the contest!

 Comment Written 20-Oct-2021


reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
    Thanks for the review. The prompt did not want scary. It was for small children.
reply by Raul1 on 20-Oct-2021
    Oh, okay, sorry! You're welcome! I like it.
Comment from lyenochka
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Lol! I was hoping the scary elf would lead back to the little boy who could not go trick or treating. Seems like he scored double the candy than his friends did. Well done story in ballad meter. Best wishes in the contest!

 Comment Written 20-Oct-2021


reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
    Thanks, Helen. I was glad that I could pull it off for the little cripple boy.
reply by lyenochka on 21-Oct-2021
    Congratulations on the win!!
Comment from MissMerri
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Such fun memories! I enjoyed this poem so much and thought the idea of the children sharing with the crippled boy was especially refreshing. (Shouldn't there be a 'd' on the end of cripple friend, in line 31?) A well-constructed poem with excellent meter and abcb rhymes, a poem that tells a wonderful Halloween story. I enjoyed this very much. MM

 Comment Written 20-Oct-2021


reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
    Thanks for the review, MM. In our neck of the woods we would say cripple boy. We talk differently here in Downeast Maine.