Revenge
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 " Lady Marian"Evil stalks the dynamic crime team
18 total reviews
Comment from royowen
I wonder how many starlets and wanna be actors actually make it, but fail, and how many actually succeed, the number relatively speaking must be small. You are developing another wonderful plot here Carol. I hope things are better at home, but your writing is a great distraction I suppose, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
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I wonder how many starlets and wanna be actors actually make it, but fail, and how many actually succeed, the number relatively speaking must be small. You are developing another wonderful plot here Carol. I hope things are better at home, but your writing is a great distraction I suppose, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 13-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
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Thank you for taking the time to read, enjoy and review my story. It means a great deal to me and I truly appreciate it.
Smiles and hugs, Carol
Comment from Carol Clark2
I went back and re-read the earlier chapters because I missed why Vito is an imposter husband. I think I've got it now. This is a lot for Garth and Allie to sort out in future chapters. Looking forward to reading more. Blessings & prayers. Carol
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
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I went back and re-read the earlier chapters because I missed why Vito is an imposter husband. I think I've got it now. This is a lot for Garth and Allie to sort out in future chapters. Looking forward to reading more. Blessings & prayers. Carol
Comment Written 13-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
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Thank you for taking the time to read, enjoy and review my story. It means a great deal to me and I truly appreciate it.
Smiles and hugs, Carol
Comment from Judy Lawless
You're doing a good job of developing these knew characters and building the back story in this chapter, Carol. I'm curious to see how he managed to talks the place of the real James. Well done.
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2021
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You're doing a good job of developing these knew characters and building the back story in this chapter, Carol. I'm curious to see how he managed to talks the place of the real James. Well done.
Comment Written 13-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2021
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James was killed in the war with Charles by his side. Marian had a stroke and dementia so she couldn't relate. Vito simply stepped into the role and played it well for her.
Hope that clears it up a little for you. It's all in the ability to act I guess.
Hugs, Carol
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Thanks, Carol. Did I miss all this somewhere?
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Diabolical! Will there be more backstory to clarify the significance of the impostor scheme? What happened to James? How does Marian fit into this? And Angel? I get the gist of the revenge against Allie. Well done!
Cheryl and Charles laughed at [Jame's=>JAMES'S] mention of guests.
Cheryl [chimed=>sugg SAID], "I'll try to make time to clean out Angel's
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2021
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Diabolical! Will there be more backstory to clarify the significance of the impostor scheme? What happened to James? How does Marian fit into this? And Angel? I get the gist of the revenge against Allie. Well done!
Cheryl and Charles laughed at [Jame's=>JAMES'S] mention of guests.
Cheryl [chimed=>sugg SAID], "I'll try to make time to clean out Angel's
Comment Written 13-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2021
Ok, you missed something somewhere. Charlie tried to save James's life in the war, (he knew he was dying but instead of telling his wife that, he wrote a letter appointing Charlie as the Estate Manager) James died, Charlie became the "butler" and conspired with his ex-con friend, Vito, to hatch their scheme. James had pampered his wife and had a film studio built just for her so she could be a movie star. She had a stroke and only remembers she's a star.
Vito (James) wants to pay Allie back for being involved in sending him to prison. And he wants to produce his own movies... thus using the studio.
Hope that clears up a few things.
Carol
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Why would they kill Angel and pretend it's Jasmine. Where is Jasmine? Okay you have me completely hooked.
"I sure wish I could be there to see her face when they ask her to come to Savannah to identify the body." (not wrong but I think 'ask her to come to Savannah AND identify the body.' reads smoother)
"The make-up artist did one fantastic job of transforming Angel into Jasmine, (you can omit 'of')
He failed to mention that the doctor no longer had his license, (omit 'that')
I was sorry to hear that Angel left so suddenly. (omit 'that')
James did not doubt that she would play along, (omit 'that')
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
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Why would they kill Angel and pretend it's Jasmine. Where is Jasmine? Okay you have me completely hooked.
"I sure wish I could be there to see her face when they ask her to come to Savannah to identify the body." (not wrong but I think 'ask her to come to Savannah AND identify the body.' reads smoother)
"The make-up artist did one fantastic job of transforming Angel into Jasmine, (you can omit 'of')
He failed to mention that the doctor no longer had his license, (omit 'that')
I was sorry to hear that Angel left so suddenly. (omit 'that')
James did not doubt that she would play along, (omit 'that')
Comment Written 13-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
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Thank you for taking the time to read, enjoy and review my story. It means a great deal to me and I truly appreciate it.
Smiles and hugs, Carol
Comment from BethShelby
Well, I now know the dead girl is Angel and not Jasmine but she is supposed to look like Jasmine. I don't know why but in time I hope to find out. I'm looking forward to learned more about where this story is going.
care for his wife, and now that he�¢?
dazzling as she looked into Jame's eyes. James's ?
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reply by the author on 13-Oct-2021
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Well, I now know the dead girl is Angel and not Jasmine but she is supposed to look like Jasmine. I don't know why but in time I hope to find out. I'm looking forward to learned more about where this story is going.
care for his wife, and now that he�¢?
dazzling as she looked into Jame's eyes. James's ?
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2021
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Just finished correcting the errors as your review popped up. But thank you for pointing them out.
Vito sent Allie a video showing Jasmine (Angel with makeup) being shot so he could draw her to Savannah. He burned her so she would be disfigured when Allie claims the body. The real Jasmine has disappeared and it's your guess where she might be. that's all the hints you get for now.
Hugs, Carol
Comment from Ric Myworld
I wish I could follow you around for about a month watching your writing process. I mean, I don't do outlining, plotting, or anything structural. I just start writing and let things go where they will. But there is always tons of things that should be cut. I just can't. Every word in your writing has a purpose with the fluff cut away. I guess, it's just the difference in a pro and a amateur like me. It's time I start taking this more serious and getting better, if I can. Proofing, editing, polishing, and whatever you great writers do, rather than putting words on a page and letting it fly. LOL. Thanks for sharing. Sorry about the novella.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2021
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I wish I could follow you around for about a month watching your writing process. I mean, I don't do outlining, plotting, or anything structural. I just start writing and let things go where they will. But there is always tons of things that should be cut. I just can't. Every word in your writing has a purpose with the fluff cut away. I guess, it's just the difference in a pro and a amateur like me. It's time I start taking this more serious and getting better, if I can. Proofing, editing, polishing, and whatever you great writers do, rather than putting words on a page and letting it fly. LOL. Thanks for sharing. Sorry about the novella.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2021
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Actually, I have been schooled by a few fellow writers who say I write too quickly and should read and rewrite for days before posting.... but it's just not in me to write that way. I do scribble a rough draft about how a chapter or two might go... but the actual story just kind of flows out of me as I go. I become my characters (to escape this crazy life I live, I guess) and write what I feel they would say or do. Your writing is incredible, and don't ever ever belittle what you present to us to read. We are all unique in what we do and how we do it. I am what I write, and it is what it is... but your writing has far more depth and zip to it than mine. Guess that's why we have so many different stories for different people.
Am I prejudice? Yes... I think you and your writing are spectacular.
Smiles, Carol
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You're just being kind, as always, and I appreciate you for that sweet part of you. I didn't know a noun from a verb when I came here at about 57, and not much more now. And I wing the grammar and punctuation, which is often more wrong than right. I just have fun and entertain myself. Some people get it, and a lot don't. But I can't fix stupid. LOL. Sorry, I can joke like that because you're an openminded person who understands my ramblings and over-the-top descriptions are intentional. You always make me smile! :-)
Comment from Jasmine Girl
This is a witty, romantic and fun book you are writing and I enjoy reading it very much. It is exactly the kind of books I like with movie stars, revenge and luxury mansions.
Please fix the following by retyping the apostrophe.
he�¢?
Exceptionally done.
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2021
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This is a witty, romantic and fun book you are writing and I enjoy reading it very much. It is exactly the kind of books I like with movie stars, revenge and luxury mansions.
Please fix the following by retyping the apostrophe.
he�¢?
Exceptionally done.
Comment Written 13-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2021
Error is fixed and thank you! I am glad you are enjoying the story, but please know it will also have an evil tone as well. I hope Marian comes off as the "once upon a star" I need her to be.
Smiles, Carol
