The Sadness of Quiet
Remembering Zoe97 total reviews
Comment from HarryT
A statement pitch with the emotions of regret and non-appreciation. It puts forth the feeling that one never realizes what one has until the loved one is gone. I do think that longer lines for every stanza would be more effective, for example: Knowing they are gone circles the day and fills the night. I would then delete the line "with emptiness of might which I find a bit awkward.
A second example: Delete Before and construct the line, "Love undervalued, time overlooked. I believe a longer line structure would carry more punch and would have made this a five star effort.
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reply by the author on 12-Oct-2021
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A statement pitch with the emotions of regret and non-appreciation. It puts forth the feeling that one never realizes what one has until the loved one is gone. I do think that longer lines for every stanza would be more effective, for example: Knowing they are gone circles the day and fills the night. I would then delete the line "with emptiness of might which I find a bit awkward.
A second example: Delete Before and construct the line, "Love undervalued, time overlooked. I believe a longer line structure would carry more punch and would have made this a five star effort.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2021
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Thank You for your input.
Comment from Paul McFarland
A great description of the sadness that you are going through. Then you point out that you had taken for granted this woman throughout your relationship. Because of that, the sadness is even worse.
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2021
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A great description of the sadness that you are going through. Then you point out that you had taken for granted this woman throughout your relationship. Because of that, the sadness is even worse.
Comment Written 11-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2021
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Thank You
Comment from Hitcher
A soulful write and one I'm sure will touch the hearts of many who have had Death, slip under there door and take the light of someone's life away. Good luck with this one friend, it is a great offering for the contest.
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2021
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A soulful write and one I'm sure will touch the hearts of many who have had Death, slip under there door and take the light of someone's life away. Good luck with this one friend, it is a great offering for the contest.
Comment Written 11-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2021
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Thank You, very kind.
Comment from Sherry Asbury
This is ineffably sad. If it is a true story - let me offer my condolences. If it is not, you have done a great and wonderful job with this. Best of luck to you in the contest!
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2021
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This is ineffably sad. If it is a true story - let me offer my condolences. If it is not, you have done a great and wonderful job with this. Best of luck to you in the contest!
Comment Written 11-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2021
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Thank You, a true story.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
This is an excellent poem about death. Quiet and understated, as death should be perhaps if it is to be a peaceful leaving. My favourite words were:
There is no joy
There is no bright
I feel that these few words demonstrate clearly the transformation in the lives of those left behind.
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2021
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This is an excellent poem about death. Quiet and understated, as death should be perhaps if it is to be a peaceful leaving. My favourite words were:
There is no joy
There is no bright
I feel that these few words demonstrate clearly the transformation in the lives of those left behind.
Comment Written 11-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2021
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Thank You
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This No Rules Poetry Contest contest entry speaks a sad tragic tale of living, your wife died unexpectedly and now you live in quiet, her voice, presence and words are missing; there is no joy, light; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this. ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2021
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This No Rules Poetry Contest contest entry speaks a sad tragic tale of living, your wife died unexpectedly and now you live in quiet, her voice, presence and words are missing; there is no joy, light; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this. ALCREATOR
Comment Written 11-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2021
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You are welcome, and thank you.
Comment from Mary Vigasin
Very sad and lonely poem. Seeing for myself how a lost mate can lead to an empty life.
What hits home is the lines of love undervalued and time overlooked. It is a wonderful line and one of the truths of how much we waste time and not realize our love until it is gone.
Good luck in the contest.
Best wishes.
Mary
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2021
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Very sad and lonely poem. Seeing for myself how a lost mate can lead to an empty life.
What hits home is the lines of love undervalued and time overlooked. It is a wonderful line and one of the truths of how much we waste time and not realize our love until it is gone.
Good luck in the contest.
Best wishes.
Mary
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2021
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Thank You.
