Nell's Dress
a fifty-word story17 total reviews
Comment from nomi338
Carl is an idiot. If he wants to get rid of Nell, do not waste money on a rented dress, go to the thrift store get her a nice dress for a few pennies and that way you don't lose and you still get rid of Nell. By the way, what did she do to make Carl wantto get rid of her anyway?
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2021
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Carl is an idiot. If he wants to get rid of Nell, do not waste money on a rented dress, go to the thrift store get her a nice dress for a few pennies and that way you don't lose and you still get rid of Nell. By the way, what did she do to make Carl wantto get rid of her anyway?
Comment Written 11-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2021
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Did I mention that Carl was crazy?
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No need, I deduced that right away, he and I are kindred spirits,
Comment from damommy
Reminds me of the old silent movies where the villain ties the young maid to the tracks and laughs his evil laugh as he strokes his hideous moustache. I hope Crazy Cal didn't put Nell back on the track in one of her own dresses. Horribly funny! 8-)
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2021
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Reminds me of the old silent movies where the villain ties the young maid to the tracks and laughs his evil laugh as he strokes his hideous moustache. I hope Crazy Cal didn't put Nell back on the track in one of her own dresses. Horribly funny! 8-)
Comment Written 11-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2021
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That could be the sequel,
Comment from patricia dillon
I liked this flash fiction. It is good that Carl realized the error of his ways, even if it was only from a pecuniary motive. Nell seems rather a passive figure in this. Was she unconscious throughout?
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2021
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I liked this flash fiction. It is good that Carl realized the error of his ways, even if it was only from a pecuniary motive. Nell seems rather a passive figure in this. Was she unconscious throughout?
Comment Written 11-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2021
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I hear she was a riot at the gala.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
You made me smile as losing the deposit was more important than the loss of life, ha ha ha, a fun post.
A word missing here:
Carl rented a gown for Nell to wear to the gala. Afterwards, he chloroformed her and tied her (to) the railroad tracks.
Love Dolly x
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2021
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You made me smile as losing the deposit was more important than the loss of life, ha ha ha, a fun post.
A word missing here:
Carl rented a gown for Nell to wear to the gala. Afterwards, he chloroformed her and tied her (to) the railroad tracks.
Love Dolly x
Comment Written 11-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2021
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Thanks, Dolly. Fixed it.
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Great!
Comment from Mark D. R.
OK Bill, this is funny! Glad he did not strip her and leave her naked on the tracks, which really would have been a messy scene.
Mark
P.S. I would insert a return especially after the first two sentences.
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2021
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OK Bill, this is funny! Glad he did not strip her and leave her naked on the tracks, which really would have been a messy scene.
Mark
P.S. I would insert a return especially after the first two sentences.
Comment Written 11-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2021
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Good idea, Mark. I spread it out a little.
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Methinks it looks better now!
Comment from Judy Lawless
This is horribly funny, Bill. You've told us a story within the required word count, (actually there is the word to missing before railway which might change that) but you've left so many unanswered questions. Well done. Good luck.
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reply by the author on 11-Oct-2021
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This is horribly funny, Bill. You've told us a story within the required word count, (actually there is the word to missing before railway which might change that) but you've left so many unanswered questions. Well done. Good luck.
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Comment Written 11-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2021
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I fixed the missing word and reworded a little. Thanks, Judy.
Comment from Boogienights
Smart thinking on his part! Really though, there are so many unanswered questions....why did he tie her to the tracks? What kind of gala? Did he take out a life insurance policy on her in his name? Sadly we will never know.. too many words. I love this, best of luck in the contest.
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reply by the author on 11-Oct-2021
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Smart thinking on his part! Really though, there are so many unanswered questions....why did he tie her to the tracks? What kind of gala? Did he take out a life insurance policy on her in his name? Sadly we will never know.. too many words. I love this, best of luck in the contest.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2021
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My understanding is that Carl was an excitable boy.
