Nell's Dress
a fifty-word story17 total reviews
Comment from Jay Squires
Dribble fiction is so very hard to write, isn't it, Bill? I think you've got the hang of it here. Like Lee advised me (that's Humpwhistle), start as close to the climax as you can. Which you did. Also, I noticed from your story that you stuck with only 4 high-powered sentences. No fluff. No descriptions. You pulled it off. How did the contest go, by the way?
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2021
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Dribble fiction is so very hard to write, isn't it, Bill? I think you've got the hang of it here. Like Lee advised me (that's Humpwhistle), start as close to the climax as you can. Which you did. Also, I noticed from your story that you stuck with only 4 high-powered sentences. No fluff. No descriptions. You pulled it off. How did the contest go, by the way?
Comment Written 29-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2021
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The contest ended on the 20th, but I haven*t seen any results.
Comment from Senyai
Hi Bill,
Omg! A cheapskate murderer... Congratulations for your win on this Dribble Flash Fiction...these short takes are not easy, harder than it looks but you pulled it off very well!
Hope Nell kicked him to the curb and then called the PD pronto :))
Have a great weekend, Bill,
Senyai
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2021
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Hi Bill,
Omg! A cheapskate murderer... Congratulations for your win on this Dribble Flash Fiction...these short takes are not easy, harder than it looks but you pulled it off very well!
Hope Nell kicked him to the curb and then called the PD pronto :))
Have a great weekend, Bill,
Senyai
Comment Written 15-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2021
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Thank you, Senyai
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Thank you, Senyai
Comment from Jerome Goldberg
Bill - Did you use to watch silent movies sometime in your past? And, did Crazy Carl have a large black mustache? Where is Charlie Chaplain when you need him? LOL! - Jerry
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2021
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Bill - Did you use to watch silent movies sometime in your past? And, did Crazy Carl have a large black mustache? Where is Charlie Chaplain when you need him? LOL! - Jerry
Comment Written 14-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2021
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Thanks, Jerry. Yes this was strictly Snidely Whiplash.
Comment from judiverse
Cleverly done! Crazy Carl has his priorities, all right. He wouldn't want to lose the deposit on the rental gown. Maybe if he had chosen a different way to get rid of Nell. Tying her to the railroad tracks is so old-fashioned, anyway. At least Nell is free for the moment, but she'd better run for her life. Very well constructed, and best of luck in the contest. judi
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2021
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Cleverly done! Crazy Carl has his priorities, all right. He wouldn't want to lose the deposit on the rental gown. Maybe if he had chosen a different way to get rid of Nell. Tying her to the railroad tracks is so old-fashioned, anyway. At least Nell is free for the moment, but she'd better run for her life. Very well constructed, and best of luck in the contest. judi
Comment Written 12-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2021
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Thank you, Judi. I?m picturing Nell on a log in a lumber mill.
Comment from lyenochka
Lol! Now I know why he's called "Crazy Carl." So if he "chloroformed" her does it mean, she's dead? I wouldn't know why he'd tie her to the tracks after that. But that's a crazy story!
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2021
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Lol! Now I know why he's called "Crazy Carl." So if he "chloroformed" her does it mean, she's dead? I wouldn't know why he'd tie her to the tracks after that. But that's a crazy story!
Comment Written 12-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2021
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In the movies the chloroform just knocks people out.
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In real life, kittens lose their lives. Hope his date didn't lose too many brain cells...
Comment from BethShelby
I guess he wasn't completely crazy This story didn't turn out too badly. Carl allowed Nell to enjoy the gala in a nice rented dress, and then he let her have nap on the home. He got his money back, and I home Nell make tracks, before she got tied to them again without a rented dress on.
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2021
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I guess he wasn't completely crazy This story didn't turn out too badly. Carl allowed Nell to enjoy the gala in a nice rented dress, and then he let her have nap on the home. He got his money back, and I home Nell make tracks, before she got tied to them again without a rented dress on.
Comment Written 11-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2021
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Nell was last seen at a sawmill.
Comment from robyn corum
Bill,
My questions are - how much of this does Nell remember? And does he have a different outfit in mind?
hehehe
I can see why folks found this six-worthy. We are sick folks around here. hahaha!
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2021
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Bill,
My questions are - how much of this does Nell remember? And does he have a different outfit in mind?
hehehe
I can see why folks found this six-worthy. We are sick folks around here. hahaha!
Comment Written 11-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2021
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I suppose if the story were longer we would find Nell strapped to a log in a sawmill.
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naked?
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She'd be sticky and sweaty with sawdust in prudent places.
Comment from Sally Law
Dang it, I wish I had a six for this. A contest winner, nonetheless. My face is aching!! Sending you my best today as always and best wishes for the upcoming flash. In the bag.
Sal XOs
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2021
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Dang it, I wish I had a six for this. A contest winner, nonetheless. My face is aching!! Sending you my best today as always and best wishes for the upcoming flash. In the bag.
Sal XOs
Comment Written 11-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2021
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Thank you, Sally, for the encouraging review.
Comment from Gert sherwood
fifty-word story
Nell's Dress
Bill Schott,
now that is good. I'm glad that he decided not to leave the girl on the railroad tracks. Other wise the dress would be ruined.
Gert
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2021
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fifty-word story
Nell's Dress
Bill Schott,
now that is good. I'm glad that he decided not to leave the girl on the railroad tracks. Other wise the dress would be ruined.
Gert
Comment Written 11-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2021
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Carl is always thinking.
Comment from Mary Vigasin
This is a gem! Funny, creative, and clever. A very different twist from the old movies where the heroine is tried to the railroad tracks and a hero saves her. Here it was Carl saving her to get back the deposit on the dress.
I got to give you a six on this for your being so cleverly and creatively warped!
Good luck in the contest. It should have a shot at winning.
Regards,
Mary
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2021
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This is a gem! Funny, creative, and clever. A very different twist from the old movies where the heroine is tried to the railroad tracks and a hero saves her. Here it was Carl saving her to get back the deposit on the dress.
I got to give you a six on this for your being so cleverly and creatively warped!
Good luck in the contest. It should have a shot at winning.
Regards,
Mary
Comment Written 11-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2021
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Thank you, Mary, for the encouraging review. Bill
