Revenge
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Sweet Revenge Begins - Chap 2 "Evil stalks the dynamic crime team
21 total reviews
Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante
Garth is sure in a grumpy mood, but who could blame him? He just had a hot date with his dream girl interrupted by gun fire and threats. And Allie, naturally, is beside herself.
A short list of suggestions:
with Allie, aka Allyssa Shelton, Investigative Journalist,
-->
with Allie, aka Alyssa Shelton, Investigative Journalist, [spelling according to your list of Characters]
"Boss, the Director, wants me to record your statement ...
-->
"Boss, the Director wants me to record your statement ...
***
I like the way you summarized the sudden attack in the restaurant by means of Garth's report to his Director. Very well done.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2021
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Garth is sure in a grumpy mood, but who could blame him? He just had a hot date with his dream girl interrupted by gun fire and threats. And Allie, naturally, is beside herself.
A short list of suggestions:
with Allie, aka Allyssa Shelton, Investigative Journalist,
-->
with Allie, aka Alyssa Shelton, Investigative Journalist, [spelling according to your list of Characters]
"Boss, the Director, wants me to record your statement ...
-->
"Boss, the Director wants me to record your statement ...
***
I like the way you summarized the sudden attack in the restaurant by means of Garth's report to his Director. Very well done.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2021
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Thanks for enjoying this chapter. I needed a plan to tell new readers about what happened at the restaurant and also to remind the current readers as well.
Smiles, Carol
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So you put on your thinking cap, and came up with a great solution! Whatever else is going on in your life, your brain is doing a great job, praise God! I'm continuing to pray for you and your family, as I know that serious problems don't disappear overnight. Sending hugs and lots of love, Mary Kay
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Sorry--I see I missed this gripping chapter! As to the backstory you provided me in reply to my review of the following chapter--thanks--I didn't mean for you to have to reveal it if we weren't mean to know it yet--my point was to make you aware that I was not able to deduce any of the backstory thus far, and wondered if that was your intent. Stunning chapter!
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2021
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Sorry--I see I missed this gripping chapter! As to the backstory you provided me in reply to my review of the following chapter--thanks--I didn't mean for you to have to reveal it if we weren't mean to know it yet--my point was to make you aware that I was not able to deduce any of the backstory thus far, and wondered if that was your intent. Stunning chapter!
Comment Written 13-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2021
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Not a problem... I would rather the reader understood from the beginning and not be confused throughout. I will go back and read it again myself to make sure that things are clearer.
Hugs, Carol
Comment from karenina
Perfectly rendered. Garth's "ordered" statement gave us all a throwback to just what occurred in the final chapter of the last book. Looks like Garth and Allie are not only embroiled in a beginning romance...it's already enmeshed in a series of events that will call their considerable skills into action! I've got a crush on Garth, so this works well for me!--(smirk)
Karenina
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2021
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Perfectly rendered. Garth's "ordered" statement gave us all a throwback to just what occurred in the final chapter of the last book. Looks like Garth and Allie are not only embroiled in a beginning romance...it's already enmeshed in a series of events that will call their considerable skills into action! I've got a crush on Garth, so this works well for me!--(smirk)
Karenina
Comment Written 12-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2021
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Forgive me please for my poor display of gratitude and appreciation. I truly am grateful for all your time, your review and your thoughtfulness. I'm struggling with life and I apologize for neglecting your efforts. I am weeks behind in responding so I must at least cut and paste a thank you and hope you understand. I am thrilled that you have taken the time to read my story and to enjoy it.
Smiles, hugs and much love for all the support.
Carol
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Hugs...
K
Comment from lyenochka
Great way to use the statement to give us an objective review of what happened at the end of the last book! We see a different side to brave and brash Allie as she seems much more vulnerable when it comes to her sister's safety.
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
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Great way to use the statement to give us an objective review of what happened at the end of the last book! We see a different side to brave and brash Allie as she seems much more vulnerable when it comes to her sister's safety.
Comment Written 12-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
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Thank you for taking the time to read, enjoy and review my story. It means a great deal to me and I truly appreciate it.
Smiles and hugs, Carol
Comment from dmt1967
"Come on, Tango. We've got a crime to solve and it (might) be on the east coast." (must)
This is a good chapter but I did find it hard going. I think it just needs a bit more showing the action than telling it. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2021
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"Come on, Tango. We've got a crime to solve and it (might) be on the east coast." (must)
This is a good chapter but I did find it hard going. I think it just needs a bit more showing the action than telling it. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 12-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2021
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This was a difficult chapter because it is retelling through the statement of what happened at the ending of book 3. I didn't want it to be too repetitious for those continuing to read but enough knowledge for those who just joined. Thanks so much.
Comment from Patty Palmer
We're off to an exciting beginning! Already shots are fired and we're off to find who, when, and where the bullets came from. Finding Allie's sister, Jaz, is going to be difficult since she and Allie haven't spoken in months. I look forward to the next chapter.
xxoo
Patty
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
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We're off to an exciting beginning! Already shots are fired and we're off to find who, when, and where the bullets came from. Finding Allie's sister, Jaz, is going to be difficult since she and Allie haven't spoken in months. I look forward to the next chapter.
xxoo
Patty
Comment Written 12-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
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Thank you for taking the time to read, enjoy and review my story. It means a great deal to me and I truly appreciate it.
Smiles and hugs, Carol
Comment from LJbutterfly
You've tied the pieces together smoothly and easily. As you weave a web, and build suspense the story has already become compelling. I'm looking forward to watching the characters develop and solve the problems they are about to encounter.
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
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You've tied the pieces together smoothly and easily. As you weave a web, and build suspense the story has already become compelling. I'm looking forward to watching the characters develop and solve the problems they are about to encounter.
Comment Written 11-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
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Thank you for taking the time to read, enjoy and review my story. It means a great deal to me and I truly appreciate it.
Smiles and hugs, Carol
Comment from Wendy G
Very interesting. So someone wanted both sisters out of the way and had gone to considerable trouble to organise this. Someone who also knew her dinner plans. Garth won't stop until all is solved. I liked how you linked Garth's statement back to the last chapter as a reminder. Clever writing Carol.
Wendy
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
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Very interesting. So someone wanted both sisters out of the way and had gone to considerable trouble to organise this. Someone who also knew her dinner plans. Garth won't stop until all is solved. I liked how you linked Garth's statement back to the last chapter as a reminder. Clever writing Carol.
Wendy
Comment Written 11-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
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Thank you for taking the time to read, enjoy and review my story. It means a great deal to me and I truly appreciate it.
Smiles and hugs, Carol
Comment from Ric Myworld
It's nice to see familiar characters show up in the new story that can be trusted, or at least they could be in the last story. LOL Thanks for sharing another fine chapter.
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
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It's nice to see familiar characters show up in the new story that can be trusted, or at least they could be in the last story. LOL Thanks for sharing another fine chapter.
Comment Written 11-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
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Thank you for taking the time to read, enjoy and review my story. It means a great deal to me and I truly appreciate it.
Smiles and hugs, Carol
Comment from royowen
How marvellous that you've woven another great plot Carol. You've pulled us into a great follow up to the previous novel write, and created another exciting and cleverly woven story. Where Allie's sister, Jasmine is pleading with Allie to help her. Beautifully written Carol, as always dear girl, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
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How marvellous that you've woven another great plot Carol. You've pulled us into a great follow up to the previous novel write, and created another exciting and cleverly woven story. Where Allie's sister, Jasmine is pleading with Allie to help her. Beautifully written Carol, as always dear girl, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 11-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
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Thank you for taking the time to read, enjoy and review my story. It means a great deal to me and I truly appreciate it.
Smiles and hugs, Carol
