Revenge
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "In The Heat of Revenge"Evil stalks the dynamic crime team
29 total reviews
Comment from Judy Lawless
Wow, this is a great start to another riveting story, Carol. The note that Allie was the investigative journalist whose assignment resulted in the wrongful arrest of Vito Moretti has me worried already! Well done.
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2021
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Wow, this is a great start to another riveting story, Carol. The note that Allie was the investigative journalist whose assignment resulted in the wrongful arrest of Vito Moretti has me worried already! Well done.
Comment Written 10-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2021
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You are right! Allie and her sister Jasmine are in for some rough and dangerous times I think. Vito has had eight years to conjure up his revenge and no body better get in his way.
Hugs, Carol
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Yikes!
Comment from Gert sherwood
Begin again,
am I right is this the first chapter for your book
The Heat of Revenge?
Well if it is you are going to have a book filled with action.
One thing you left me wondering; What about the body of a woman on the beach.
Gert
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2021
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Begin again,
am I right is this the first chapter for your book
The Heat of Revenge?
Well if it is you are going to have a book filled with action.
One thing you left me wondering; What about the body of a woman on the beach.
Gert
Comment Written 10-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2021
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You are so special, Gert. I thank you for your kindness and for reading my story. I hope you continue to enjoy it.
Smiles and hugs, Carol
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You are most welcome
Begin Again.
Gert
Comment from lyenochka
You always start out with a BANG! There's a lot of action and I like how even your villains are complex and you give us believable backgrounds. What I'm unclear about in this one is how much is flashback and how much is happening now. So did Vito and Charlie dispose of the murdered woman in the present time? Or did that happen in the past? I was confused because Henry snapped incriminating pictures which I assumed would be in the pictures...So maybe this will be a deja vu in Vito's life?
Typo in your Character list:
Charles (Charlie) Dublois - (Dubois)
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2021
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You always start out with a BANG! There's a lot of action and I like how even your villains are complex and you give us believable backgrounds. What I'm unclear about in this one is how much is flashback and how much is happening now. So did Vito and Charlie dispose of the murdered woman in the present time? Or did that happen in the past? I was confused because Henry snapped incriminating pictures which I assumed would be in the pictures...So maybe this will be a deja vu in Vito's life?
Typo in your Character list:
Charles (Charlie) Dublois - (Dubois)
Comment Written 10-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2021
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It's present time - I need a flashback to the actual murder, but I'm working on it. The incriminating photos are in Henry's camera, but he wasn't aware of what he was snapping... 82 and poor eyesight. He just thought he was taking pictures of wild kids. At some point, it will come out, but not till much later. For now, the camera is stuffed in a closet and forgotten.
Thanks for the review and for keeping me on my toes.
Hugs, Carol
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Okay! Thanks for clearing that up for me. Can't wait until Garth and Allie - the new dynamic duo show up. I guess Jaz's disappearance will be tied in here, too.
Comment from AnnieDawn
If this is the first chapter it is going to be a real thriller. I really enjoyed reading it and I know that the following ones will be just as good from the way this one is put together. You have started your character list which is one thing I look for and include in my grading. Great job.
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2021
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If this is the first chapter it is going to be a real thriller. I really enjoyed reading it and I know that the following ones will be just as good from the way this one is put together. You have started your character list which is one thing I look for and include in my grading. Great job.
Comment Written 10-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2021
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thank you very much for your kind review and the pointers on what you and other readers might look for when starting to read...such as the character list. I appreciate it very much and hope you continue to follow the story.
Hugs, Carol
Comment from Susan Newell
This is a very intriguing first chapter. You have done very well with the dialogue/narrative balance and have introduced some interesting characters, particularly the elderly photographer. Nice foreshadowing with the bad guys not knowing they were being caught on camera. Good job!
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2021
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This is a very intriguing first chapter. You have done very well with the dialogue/narrative balance and have introduced some interesting characters, particularly the elderly photographer. Nice foreshadowing with the bad guys not knowing they were being caught on camera. Good job!
Comment Written 10-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2021
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Thanks, Sue... It's been tough to write or even be on Fanstory... My alone time is 3 AM and I pray for clear thoughts. Hope you are doing okay. thanks for reading and reviewing. Take care -
Hugs, Carol
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Sorry that you are having a hard time and writing time is so restricted. FS has been freezing on me, or refusing to load. I've done everything possible on my end, but Tom denies that FS server(s) are the problem. Very frustrating when I can't review. It's been better, but not perfect, this a.m.
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I agree! It took me almost all morning before I could get on the site. i was able to use my internet for other sites but not FanStory. It's beyond irritating.
Take care - Carol
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Tom said I was the only one. Heh!
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He always has an excuse!
Comment from Jasmine Girl
What a explosive opening of a new mystery. I enjoy reading it and will keep doing so. It's like the famous book "Duke of Monte Cristo" and I like it very much.
Well done.
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2021
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What a explosive opening of a new mystery. I enjoy reading it and will keep doing so. It's like the famous book "Duke of Monte Cristo" and I like it very much.
Well done.
Comment Written 10-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2021
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Thanks, Lisa... I appreciate your thoughts and the review. I've been gone from Fanstory for a week or so and am trying to get caught up again. I write at 3 AM when I know my granddaughters will be asleep and I have a little time to me. Thanks again
Hugs, CArol
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I know. If you want to stay in the top five in any category, you have to keep posting. I took a week off to Branson for my husband's aunt's memorial service and had a lot of fun in a beach house there. I had to post twice during that period.
I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
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Dealing with a troubled teenager (my granddaughter) and facing things I never ever expected at my age. Our family is being ripped apart and writing is the only thing that holds me together. Thanks so much
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I'm sorry about your trouble. You are a good writer.
Hugs.
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Thank you so much - Hugs
Comment from BethShelby
It is good to see that you have started your new novel and it is starting off with bang in more ways than one. I'm anxious to find out the story behind the murdered lady. If Vito served time of a crime he didn't commit, he has made up for it now by actually committing one. Looking forward to the next installment. I hope things are going better in your life.
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reply by the author on 10-Oct-2021
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It is good to see that you have started your new novel and it is starting off with bang in more ways than one. I'm anxious to find out the story behind the murdered lady. If Vito served time of a crime he didn't commit, he has made up for it now by actually committing one. Looking forward to the next installment. I hope things are going better in your life.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 10-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2021
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thanks for the thoughts, Beth but life is a struggle. I've been gone from Fanstory and have to write at 3 in the morning to have any time to myself. I was worried if the story was catchy enough to get everyone's attention.
Hugs, Carol
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Is Allie the journalist Vito was burning. I sure hope not. I wanted her and Garth together. Maybe he got the wrong lady. I can't wait to read this one. I already know it's good.
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reply by the author on 10-Oct-2021
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Is Allie the journalist Vito was burning. I sure hope not. I wanted her and Garth together. Maybe he got the wrong lady. I can't wait to read this one. I already know it's good.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 10-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2021
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If you remember from Secrets in the Wind - Allie and Garth received a call from her sister Jaz and it ended with a gunshot at both ends of the call. The dead woman burning was not Allie - As to who she was...we must wait.
Thanks for the support. I haven't been able to be here lately and trying to write at 3AM (my alone time) is tough. I appreciate your feedback. Hugs, Carol
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Yes. I remember.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Wow! Excellent start, Carol! You don't hang about, do you? Lol. So we are after a few people who wrongly convicted a man who was consequently put in prison for eight years! I would be a bit peed off if that had been done to me. I don't think I could do what Vito did, though. What he doesn't know is, that Henry has them on camera doing the dirty deed! Well done, my dear friend. Excellent start. Love and hugs, Sandra xx
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2021
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Wow! Excellent start, Carol! You don't hang about, do you? Lol. So we are after a few people who wrongly convicted a man who was consequently put in prison for eight years! I would be a bit peed off if that had been done to me. I don't think I could do what Vito did, though. What he doesn't know is, that Henry has them on camera doing the dirty deed! Well done, my dear friend. Excellent start. Love and hugs, Sandra xx
Comment Written 10-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2021
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Hello, my dear friend. I hoped you would be the first to read and let me know if we are off to a good start. Life's been crazy and I've not been on FanStory, but I started writing at 3 in the morning when I can't sleep. I appreciate your encouragement, support and of course the beautiful start with the stars.
Smiles and hugs and lots of love, Carol
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I was overjoyed to see you posting again. And with my favourite detectives! I hope you're okay? I'm always thinking of you. Love you lots. xx
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I wish I could answer that question... K is home again and it's a struggle.
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I'm here when you want to sound off, Carol. I really feel for you. Bury yourself in this lovely novel. xxx
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Thank you!
