Tiny Dancer
Haiku Variation 6/7/429 total reviews
Comment from Wendy G
You have here a stunning image and presentation. I like the different form of your haiku, and I hadn't realised that one was "allowed" to vary from the traditional. (Sometimes people force their syllables, and it doesn't make sense.) Here, yours is a fine example of choosing to vary with maximum impact. It's quite beautiful.
Wendy
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2021
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You have here a stunning image and presentation. I like the different form of your haiku, and I hadn't realised that one was "allowed" to vary from the traditional. (Sometimes people force their syllables, and it doesn't make sense.) Here, yours is a fine example of choosing to vary with maximum impact. It's quite beautiful.
Wendy
Comment Written 14-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2021
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Thank you for the lovely review and generous compliments. Yes, there are several varieties of haiku poetry. It?s high time we investigate them and expand our horizons. I?m glad you enjoyed this form and the presentation. Sending you my best today as always,
Sal XOs?
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Gorgeous! Stunning haiku--vivid and elegant--a petal dancer dressed in blue silk! This reminds me of the other day counting butterflies--six!--on the flowering bush in my friend's garden.
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2021
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Gorgeous! Stunning haiku--vivid and elegant--a petal dancer dressed in blue silk! This reminds me of the other day counting butterflies--six!--on the flowering bush in my friend's garden.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2021
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Thank you, Liz dear. So glad you like. My husband really enjoyed this one. Sending you my best today as always,
Sally XOs?
Comment from Liz O'Neill
This is a lovely image you are describing in this poem. Your use of sensory techniques will draw the reader in. The reader will feel the silky texture and hear the wings dancing. Very nice.
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2021
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This is a lovely image you are describing in this poem. Your use of sensory techniques will draw the reader in. The reader will feel the silky texture and hear the wings dancing. Very nice.
Comment Written 13-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2021
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Thank you for the wonderful review and generous compliments, Liz dear.
Blessings for your day,
Sal XOs?
Comment from PoemsOfDD
I enjoyed the introduction of a new haiku form and appreciate your end notes. This is a good write. Butterflies are beautiful and soft in appearance. You did well to bring this out in the second line and to enhance the visual in the end line. Great work.
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2021
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I enjoyed the introduction of a new haiku form and appreciate your end notes. This is a good write. Butterflies are beautiful and soft in appearance. You did well to bring this out in the second line and to enhance the visual in the end line. Great work.
Comment Written 13-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2021
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Thank you, dear DD! In a haiku mood these days. I find nature very healing and quieting. Sending you my best today as always,
Sal XOs?
Comment from juliaSjames
Lovely write dear Sal. Perfect description of a blue Morpho butterfly. The satori is enchanting. I imagine the butterfly fluttering its delicate wings like a beautiful fairy performing ballet steps on a flower.
Since haiku is usually written in the present tense and articles are rarely used the first line could be
"butterfly emerges"
My grandson's class went on a nature outing today and they all had to write haiku afterwards. He seemed to enjoy the exercise although he said he couldn't remember what he'd written. LoL
Stay safe
Blessings Julia
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2021
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Lovely write dear Sal. Perfect description of a blue Morpho butterfly. The satori is enchanting. I imagine the butterfly fluttering its delicate wings like a beautiful fairy performing ballet steps on a flower.
Since haiku is usually written in the present tense and articles are rarely used the first line could be
"butterfly emerges"
My grandson's class went on a nature outing today and they all had to write haiku afterwards. He seemed to enjoy the exercise although he said he couldn't remember what he'd written. LoL
Stay safe
Blessings Julia
Comment Written 13-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2021
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Thank you, Julia dear. I have taken your good advice. I am a prose writer first and foremost. I tend to write in past tense. Thank you for catching that. Blessings to you and your family,
Sal XOs.
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Hello Sally.
By your included definition of the style, You meet the style. How to appreciate the fact you are studying haiku And learning to write in different genres of the style.
PAL Z
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2021
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Hello Sally.
By your included definition of the style, You meet the style. How to appreciate the fact you are studying haiku And learning to write in different genres of the style.
PAL Z
Comment Written 13-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2021
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Thank you for the lovely review and generous compliments, dear Z! Your pal, Sal :))
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You're welcome
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Your haiku gives a beautiful description of the beauty of the butterfly. To think they emerge from (usually) a drab cocoon. I love the
Petal dancer.
Very nice, cheers
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2021
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Your haiku gives a beautiful description of the beauty of the butterfly. To think they emerge from (usually) a drab cocoon. I love the
Petal dancer.
Very nice, cheers
Comment Written 13-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2021
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Thank you for the lovely review and kind compliments, Valda dear. Sending you my best today as always,
Sal XOs
Comment from Dawn Munro
This is lovely, Sally, and I appreciate you varying from the standard 5-7-5. There ARE so many other formats for Haiku, although they are seldom seen on Fanstory, sadly. Well done! The satori is descriptive, in and of itself!
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2021
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This is lovely, Sally, and I appreciate you varying from the standard 5-7-5. There ARE so many other formats for Haiku, although they are seldom seen on Fanstory, sadly. Well done! The satori is descriptive, in and of itself!
Comment Written 13-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2021
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Aw, thank you so much, dear Dawn. So glad you like. It?s a delightful gift to see you. :)) I hope you are well. ;))
Sending you my best today as always,
Sal XOs?
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It was my pleasure! I'm not here a lot anymore, but thank you for the compliment. :)
I hope you and yours are well too!!!
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
You haiku is in great form, Sally. I enjoyed reading it. You are right about the 575 haiku. I agree. So many write a haiku that is just one big 17 syllable sentence divided into the 3 lines and not a haiku to begin with--just a 575. Your picture is gorgeous though your words paint their own, too. The video was interesting. The title reminded me of Elton John's 'Tiny Dancer' though it isn't about butterflies.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2021
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You haiku is in great form, Sally. I enjoyed reading it. You are right about the 575 haiku. I agree. So many write a haiku that is just one big 17 syllable sentence divided into the 3 lines and not a haiku to begin with--just a 575. Your picture is gorgeous though your words paint their own, too. The video was interesting. The title reminded me of Elton John's 'Tiny Dancer' though it isn't about butterflies.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 13-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2021
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Thank you for the lovely review of my new favorite form of haiku. Coloring outside the haiku box?. Sending you my best today as always,
Sal XOs?
Comment from Janice Canerdy
You have made excellent used of your seventeen well-arranged syllables in this love haiku about a majestic butterfly. Description is vivid, good metaphor in line 3.
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2021
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You have made excellent used of your seventeen well-arranged syllables in this love haiku about a majestic butterfly. Description is vivid, good metaphor in line 3.
Comment Written 13-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2021
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Thank you for the lovely review and kind compliments, dear Janice. Poetry is something I do for pure enjoyment. I love to employ new forms and free verse. Sending you my best today as always,
Sal XOs?
