Reviews from

The Assassins Day Off

Even Assassins need a day off

27 total reviews 
Comment from amahra
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Poor Jude, little did he know that another writer, not far from you, penned that Enrico and Olivia's boss called and offer them "Over Time" and they accepted. LOL! But I like your ending better. :))

 Comment Written 07-Oct-2021


reply by the author on 08-Oct-2021
    Ha Ha like your little twist. Thanks for taking the time to review. I can now tell you that the story ran in second.
    Take care.
Comment from LJbutterfly
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

this story is truly a horror, thriller with building suspense from beginning to end. Jude had no real way out, unless he could call his daughter and tell her to meet him elsewhere. Your ending was very creative...a day off for assassins.

 Comment Written 07-Oct-2021


reply by the author on 08-Oct-2021
    Thanks for taking the time to review my story. Glad you enjoyed the read and the ending.
    Take Care
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Very good job of getting lots of necessary information into your story and making the meeting with his daughter work out. I would suggest you use an apostrophe in title (Assassin(')s. As you have written it, I suspected all assassins were having a day off, which kind of messed with your hook. Also, this site suggests you leave a blank line between paragraphs and it does make it easier to read.

 Comment Written 07-Oct-2021


reply by the author on 08-Oct-2021
    Thanks Carol for taking the time to review my story. Also thanks for the suggestions. I will also ensure I get that blank line between the paragraphs.
    Take Care.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I'm guessing that even killers need a day off, but I'm not sure I want to hang around long enough to find out if they are on duty or not. LOL. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 07-Oct-2021


reply by the author on 08-Oct-2021
    Thanks Ric for taking the time to review my story. I am with you and wouldn't hang around waiting to find out.
    Take Care
Comment from Bill Schott
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This story, The Assassin's Day Off, was full of tension and built the thrill to the unexpected and humorous conclusion (until the next time).

 Comment Written 06-Oct-2021


reply by the author on 07-Oct-2021
    Thanks for taking the time to read my story. Look after yourself and until the next time Take Care.
Comment from Paul McFarland
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Nicely done. I was expecting fireworks, but no, you finished things off in a quiet pleasant manner. Jude should really change to a gun that is capable of more than one shot.

 Comment Written 06-Oct-2021


reply by the author on 07-Oct-2021
    Ha Ha. Yes I agree about the change of gun. Thanks for taking time to review my story. Take care.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is really a great little story. Totally unexpected that everyone is taking a day off on the same day, never saw it coming. Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 06-Oct-2021


reply by the author on 07-Oct-2021
    Wow. Thank you Katherine for liking my story to the extent of 6 stars. Now that the contest is over I can reveal the story came in Second. I am very happy with the result. Please have a good day and take care.
reply by Katherine M. (k-11) on 07-Oct-2021
    congratulations on your placing! not bad!
Comment from Wendy G
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

You had me holding my breath throughout! A very cleverly written story, well planned and written with skill and care. Best wishes for your entry in the contest.
Wendy

 Comment Written 05-Oct-2021


reply by the author on 05-Oct-2021
    Wendy thanks for reviewing my story . I am glad that you liked it lLets see how it goes. Take care.
Comment from writer723
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I very much enjoyed reading your excellent story. It really drew me in and captured my attention from start to finish. I found myself rooting for the main character all the way and wishing the best for the individual. Your depiction of this situation was quite emotional and touching to me. Your descriptive skills are exceptional and you express yourself very well.

 Comment Written 04-Oct-2021


reply by the author on 05-Oct-2021
    Thanks for taking time to review my story. I am glad you enjoyed it . Have a great day and take care.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I enjoyed reading your contest entry. You told an entire story, with characters, plot, setting, problem, and solution, using only a few words. My only suggestion is to divide your entry into paragraphs. On this site you need to physically put in a space. Good luck with the contest.

 Comment Written 04-Oct-2021


reply by the author on 04-Oct-2021
    Thanks for reviewing my story and it is great that you enjoyed it. Also thanks for the hint on dividing it into paragraphs . Will make sure to check that next time. Take Care.