Comment from dragonpoet

Excellent

Aiona,
The picture is so sad and lonely. It seems like a beatiful place to place tennis, if so inclined. The grass could be green if we got rain. I like the play on words with cricket players, with the insect and the sport.
Good luck in the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Joan

 Comment Written 04-Oct-2021

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reply by the author on 06-Oct-2021

Thanks for the review, Joan. I see you got the twist on "cricket." It was a sad place. I suppose at one time, it was very busy. Next to it was a broken down dock. I suspect that caused the demise of that harbor.

reply by dragonpoet on 06-Oct-2021

You're welcome. I think you are right about the cause and effect of the dock breaking down.
Joan

Comment from Halfree

Excellent

Quite clever you are ... nicely done. I just liked it. It's getting late and O have things to do. Read some of my old postings ,,,ugh. Doing a rewrite of some stories I wrote sometime back ...like the story In My Father's House. Made a lot changes. Never really completed the story.Very long ,,,I wonder if I can and should re post the story?

 Comment Written 02-Oct-2021

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reply by the author on 06-Oct-2021

Thanks for the review, Halfree. I need to be better about reading everyone else's writing. I'm hoping to buckle down and work. I'm going out to the boat daily now, hoping that will keep distractions to a minimum, but I've been here since about 10:45 AM, and I still haven't written! Bad Aiona! Yes, please post, and I'll try to remember to read them!

Comment from Sandra Barlow

Excellent

Questions, questions and more questions. I know nothing about Haiku, so I can't comment on that. I'm wondering how they play cricket with the net still up. Why is the net still there? Surely it could have been saved. I'm giving you 5 stars as I think writing Haiku must be very difficult and you have done it. Although if it had been called Ukiah, I wouldn't have known the difference. I hope you win.

 Comment Written 01-Oct-2021

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reply by the author on 06-Oct-2021

LOL! It took me a moment to figure out Ukiah is haiku backwards. Thanks for the review. Secret: The crickets playing there weren't human players. :)

Comment from kahpot

Excellent

How very clever, love the play on words (cricket players) and the relation to the two sports, it is a shame when sporting venues get left unattended, very well written and presented, best wishes for your contest****kahpot

 Comment Written 01-Oct-2021

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reply by the author on 01-Oct-2021

Thanks, kahpot. I change it a little, trying to follow Gloria's notes about seasonal stuff, and avoiding personification. LOL! Haiku is HARD!

Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

I'm curious now and wish I could see a picture if you really meant the baseball-like game called cricket or if you meant the word play so I can imagine crickets running around. Best wishes in the contest!

 Comment Written 01-Oct-2021

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reply by the author on 01-Oct-2021

I added a picture. But I guess I didn't write the poem well, because haiku's supposed to paint a word picture, right? :) It's a "painting" of an abandoned tennis court full of crickets chirping. I guess I'll work on it some more!

reply by lyenochka on 01-Oct-2021

I really love Gloria's explanation of haiku rules in her notes here:
https://www.fanstory.com/displaystory.jsp?id=969391

reply by the author on 01-Oct-2021

Very interesting! Thank you for the link. I read it, but I can see what she means by it's hard to avoid personification. She does it in that poem too! (Stars sing....) I guess that's "modern haiku," right? In any case, her haiku does paint a clear picture!