Reviews from

The Chronicals Of Bethica: The Rise

Viewing comments for Chapter 18 "The Chronicles Of Bethica"
Abram must defeat a deadly humanoid race of beings

11 total reviews 
Comment from justafan
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I apologize for my absence, and I am delighted to see how this book has moved forward. Your characters come to life for me as I read and re-read different chapters fearing I may have missed something.

What a wonderful storyteller you are! This will be a hit on the bookshelves.

Now, I am off to find the next chapter and gorge myself. lol

Always
Justagiantfan of yours
Missy

 Comment Written 15-Dec-2021


reply by the author on 15-Dec-2021
    Wow! thank you so much for catching up. I appreciate you so much. Bless you.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I might have to lie down and take a little nap after this action packed chapter, but it's nice to know their losses weren't in vein and the Drake is dead. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 06-Oct-2021


reply by the author on 06-Oct-2021
    Thank you, Ric. I'm really glad you liked it.
Comment from Ulla
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Awe, Amahra, so the dragon was defeated in the end. It made me kind of sad, because I do like dragons. But, okay, it was part of the story. So be it.
Its so well be written and I enjoy it. Ulla:)))

 Comment Written 05-Oct-2021


reply by the author on 05-Oct-2021
    Thank you, Ulla. I always appreciate your reviews.
Comment from Mary Shifman
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This was a very exciting chapter in your book. While I'm glad they defeated the dragon, I feel a little sad, because I do like dragons. I have a feeling that this one was the last of it's kind. My husband is always reminding me that "it's only a story" but one can lose themselves in a well written fantasy. Nicely done.

 Comment Written 05-Oct-2021


reply by the author on 05-Oct-2021
    Thank you so much. I am certainly flattered by your review. I felt a little sad myself when I wrote the last scene.
reply by Mary Shifman on 05-Oct-2021
    You are very welcome.
Comment from Cogitator
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I seldom read fiction or comment on it, but you deserve kudos for a good write. The content is good. Very imaginative and creative. I will check again in the future...John

 Comment Written 05-Oct-2021


reply by the author on 05-Oct-2021
    Thank you so much, I really appreciate your review.
Comment from Jay Squires
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

You are the queen of fantasy adventure. It reads with the intensity of the Iliad in parts and the reader gets a bird's-eye view of the carnage as it happens.

I only had a few things that gave me pause:

As the beast paused for its refueling process, several swordsmen rush from behind Celio [You lapsed into the present tense here.]

they stood momentarily squinting from the blare of the sun; [Are you sure you didn't mean "the glare of the sun" since blare has to do with sound.

and dove out falling to the ground at tremendous speed. [I'd suggest "falling toward the ground". Using "to" suggests to me that he already hit the ground.]

I can see why you have been chosen to ghost-write fantasy games. You are very good at the timing of your action.


 Comment Written 04-Oct-2021


reply by the author on 04-Oct-2021
    Thank you very much for your review.
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2021
    Oh, Jay, I forgot to say I will revisit and make the changes. Thank you.
reply by Jay Squires on 04-Oct-2021
    You're welcome.
Comment from AJ McCall
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

OH. MAN. This was such an intense chapter... I was on the edge of my seat the entire time, wondering what was going to happen. I'm so so so so so glad Celio didn't die! My heart was beating fast, lol. I love your description of the dragon's appearance and its ferocity. One line I would consider changing is this one: Blood splattered as the soldiers hit the side of the cavern--sliding down dead--leaving smears of (blood) on the jagged wall.
I would suggest replacing that with 'crimson.

Also, I love your last line about the dragon's soul soaring into the darkness. I wonder what'll happen next! SIX STARS!!

 Comment Written 04-Oct-2021


reply by the author on 04-Oct-2021
    Wow! I so flattered by your review. Thank you so much for your review and suggestion. Oh...and for the six stars.
reply by AJ McCall on 04-Oct-2021
    Lol, you're very welcome!! ;)
Comment from royowen
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Victory at last, a marathon effort by Dinary, Gangus and Celio and a host of very brave men, surrendering their lives in the quest to defeat the gargantuan fire breathing monster they called the Drake, has been killed and overcome by incredible bravery. An excellent story Amahra, wonderfully written, well done, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 04-Oct-2021


reply by the author on 04-Oct-2021
    Thank you so much, Roy.
reply by royowen on 04-Oct-2021
    Welcome Amahra
Comment from Judy Lawless
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is an excellent chapter, Amahra. It kept me on the edge of my seat during the whole read. Your imagery is very realistic and your use of combination adjectives present us with detailed pictures. I'm glad we're saying goodbye to Drake. Well done.

 Comment Written 04-Oct-2021


reply by the author on 04-Oct-2021
    Oh, thank you, Judy. I'm so glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This Chapter 12 (Part 2) of the Fantasy Fiction speaks about Face-to-face with a man-eating Drake in the chronicles of Bethica thru a strong narrative taletelling along a solid plot development; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this. ALCREATOR

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 04-Oct-2021


reply by the author on 04-Oct-2021
    Thank you for your review.