The Visit
A Writer's Helper49 total reviews
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This Fiction speaks about writer's helper, on a visit, narrated through an orderly theme, progresses thru' plot development, backed by dialogues realistic; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this. ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2021
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This Fiction speaks about writer's helper, on a visit, narrated through an orderly theme, progresses thru' plot development, backed by dialogues realistic; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this. ALCREATOR
Comment Written 28-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2021
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Thank you for reading, your kind comments, and all the stars! had some help from readers with the punctuation and grammar, made the story much smoother.
Thanks again, irish
Comment from Wendy G
Lovely story - and I like the full circle of this one. It is interesting and different, and well written, with honesty and authenticity, so readers will identify with the struggles of the writer. You display imagination, and creativity. Best wishes for your continuation.
Wendy
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2021
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Lovely story - and I like the full circle of this one. It is interesting and different, and well written, with honesty and authenticity, so readers will identify with the struggles of the writer. You display imagination, and creativity. Best wishes for your continuation.
Wendy
Comment Written 28-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2021
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Thank you, Wendy, for reading, your kind comments, and all the stars! I appreciate your support!
Cheers, irish
Comment from Mama Baer
Very lovely and creative piece! It actually gave me goosebumps. I haven't read your writings before (I'm new-ish here). I love the way you describe your process to write. I am just beginning to get back into it after a very long while. I will try and conjure my muse...thanks for sharing!
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2021
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Very lovely and creative piece! It actually gave me goosebumps. I haven't read your writings before (I'm new-ish here). I love the way you describe your process to write. I am just beginning to get back into it after a very long while. I will try and conjure my muse...thanks for sharing!
Comment Written 27-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2021
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Hi, Mama Baer, I am humbled by the galaxy of stars! Glad you are here, it's a great site to write, post and get feedback on your work, a lot of very good authors here that will advise you on ways to improve your work. Yes, your Muse is there, you just have to find her.
Cheers, irish
Comment from Jay Squires
I'm so happy to have found this piece this evening. You have an exceptional gift, but I have a hunch you've been honing your craft for some time.
"Yeah, sounds easy, but-" [Always use two dashes for a speech interrupter. Only use one dash for a hypen joining two words.]
"After I die?" He scooted back in the armchair. "Are you really real, or are you just someone I created?" He ran a hand through his hair. "And what can I call you?" [I like your use of character-action here in lieu of a character tag.]
and soon you are going to write something important to mankind." [Just a suggestion, but to me, "...something important FOR mankind," sounds better.]
He felt the return smile. [This last sentence confuses me. First of all, it has to be the muse's smile. As such, it's such a punchy, short ending for your story that I feel it deserves a paragraph of its own. Secondly, in my mind, I find myself converting it to either, "He felt the RETURNED smile," or He felt the smile return.
You are, by the way, a superb writer. You have the rhythms and nuances of speech mastered. It's an inner sense of timing and balance and it only comes after years of writing.
Be safe ... and enjoy your career in writing.
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2021
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I'm so happy to have found this piece this evening. You have an exceptional gift, but I have a hunch you've been honing your craft for some time.
"Yeah, sounds easy, but-" [Always use two dashes for a speech interrupter. Only use one dash for a hypen joining two words.]
"After I die?" He scooted back in the armchair. "Are you really real, or are you just someone I created?" He ran a hand through his hair. "And what can I call you?" [I like your use of character-action here in lieu of a character tag.]
and soon you are going to write something important to mankind." [Just a suggestion, but to me, "...something important FOR mankind," sounds better.]
He felt the return smile. [This last sentence confuses me. First of all, it has to be the muse's smile. As such, it's such a punchy, short ending for your story that I feel it deserves a paragraph of its own. Secondly, in my mind, I find myself converting it to either, "He felt the RETURNED smile," or He felt the smile return.
You are, by the way, a superb writer. You have the rhythms and nuances of speech mastered. It's an inner sense of timing and balance and it only comes after years of writing.
Be safe ... and enjoy your career in writing.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2021
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Hi Jay, thank you for reading, all the stars, and your helpful suggestions! I have been writing a while but still working on my grammar and punctuation.
Cheers, irish
Comment from blondie560
I don't think I have a muse, but I'm glad this guy had one that saved him when he needed it the most. I think if I have a muse it's not a "person", but reading other authors's writings that help me! Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2021
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I don't think I have a muse, but I'm glad this guy had one that saved him when he needed it the most. I think if I have a muse it's not a "person", but reading other authors's writings that help me! Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2021
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Thank you for reading, your great comments, and all the stars! Reading other's works definitely helps. It's interesting the way different author's craft their characters and storyline.
Cheers, irish
Comment from PoemsOfDD
I enjoyed this story. It held my attention to the end.
The manifestation of a muse - from head thoughts to body appearance - is an interesting idea.
My only comment would be with this line...
"And what is it that is bothering you, bucko?"
To use the word bucko came across as odd. Using 'John' would fit better but that is just my opinion. Some food for thought. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2021
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I enjoyed this story. It held my attention to the end.
The manifestation of a muse - from head thoughts to body appearance - is an interesting idea.
My only comment would be with this line...
"And what is it that is bothering you, bucko?"
To use the word bucko came across as odd. Using 'John' would fit better but that is just my opinion. Some food for thought. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2021
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Thank you for reading, your helpful comments, and all the stars! I tried to give a hint of John's muse being Irish, bucko is a common term used among the Irish, but I can see your point.
Cheers, irish
Comment from pookietoo
A great story that was fun to read. I bet you enjoyed writing it. I wish you a lot of luck in writing your stories. Enjoy each day of your life. Best wishes.
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2021
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A great story that was fun to read. I bet you enjoyed writing it. I wish you a lot of luck in writing your stories. Enjoy each day of your life. Best wishes.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2021
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Thank you for reading, your kind comments, and all those stars! I did enjoy this story and wrote most of it mentally before I started writing.
I wish you Good Luck!
Cheers, irish
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Welcome.
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
There is something of the ethereal about this write. A touch of whimsy and the flow of the piece is good.
I've never been sold on the idea of a muse in this manner, though. lol
It's a nice piece.
All the best
GMG
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2021
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Hi there,
There is something of the ethereal about this write. A touch of whimsy and the flow of the piece is good.
I've never been sold on the idea of a muse in this manner, though. lol
It's a nice piece.
All the best
GMG
Comment Written 27-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2021
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Thank you reading, your great comments, and all those stars!
Believe we all have a Muse, just have to find and consult her, on those tough ones you can't seem to get the right ending. Mine speaks in dreams, a neat way to get ideas and solutions.
Cheers, irish
Comment from Kamrynn June
Dear Irishauthorme,
I am hooked:) I just want to say that this reads so smoothly. The dialogue flows so easily and so naturally. I am instantly hooked, and if this were the beginning of a book then I would definitely keep reading.
Super great job! I can't wait to read more of this:) Honestly, I was hooked in the very first sentence, 'when she flowed into the room'. How enchanting. I wish I had all the best words to describe it. But your reference to Hemmingway definitely helped. Thanks!
-K
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2021
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Dear Irishauthorme,
I am hooked:) I just want to say that this reads so smoothly. The dialogue flows so easily and so naturally. I am instantly hooked, and if this were the beginning of a book then I would definitely keep reading.
Super great job! I can't wait to read more of this:) Honestly, I was hooked in the very first sentence, 'when she flowed into the room'. How enchanting. I wish I had all the best words to describe it. But your reference to Hemmingway definitely helped. Thanks!
-K
Comment Written 27-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2021
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Wow, Hi Kamrynn, I am humbled by the galaxy of stars! I had some help with grammar and punctuation. Hemingway is one of my all-time favorites. I might be a little crazy(Who isn't?), but I have a Muse, a lady who speaks to me in dreams and sometimes makes me act out the story so I can truly write the emotions. Think everyone does, just have to find her.
I am very grateful for your support!
Cheers, irish
Comment from robyn corum
IAM,
Very intriguing. Is it his wife who left him on earth but returned as his muse? Hmmm... Much here to consider. Very nice. I like this story. The writing was really good, too. Crisp, straight to the point without any wandering around. I appreciate that. Good stuff! Thanks!
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2021
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IAM,
Very intriguing. Is it his wife who left him on earth but returned as his muse? Hmmm... Much here to consider. Very nice. I like this story. The writing was really good, too. Crisp, straight to the point without any wandering around. I appreciate that. Good stuff! Thanks!
Comment Written 27-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2021
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Hi Robyn, thank you for reading, your in-depth comments, and all the stars! Some don't think it's fair but I do like to leave some questions with my readers, believe it makes the story more interesting.
Thanks again, irish
