At Summers End
a very short poem11 total reviews
Comment from Bill Schott
This naani, At Summer's End, has the proper formatting and the twenty-four syllables used create the sad scene of an empty play area where, perhaps only recently, happy voices filled the air.
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2021
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This naani, At Summer's End, has the proper formatting and the twenty-four syllables used create the sad scene of an empty play area where, perhaps only recently, happy voices filled the air.
Comment Written 22-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2021
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Thank you so much for reviewing my Naani and your comments, Bill.
Rod
Comment from C. Gale Burnett
I could strongly feel the void of little children playing on the swing beneath that lonesome oak tree. I believe your syllable count is 23, perfect for the Naani. The title told the 'when of it all' giving explanation to the solitude. The overall presentation was pure perfection.
Great Job!
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2021
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I could strongly feel the void of little children playing on the swing beneath that lonesome oak tree. I believe your syllable count is 23, perfect for the Naani. The title told the 'when of it all' giving explanation to the solitude. The overall presentation was pure perfection.
Great Job!
Comment Written 21-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2021
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Thank you so much, C. Gale, for this marvelous review of my Naani.
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Great, great poem! You are so welcome.
Gale
Comment from Wendy G
This Naani expresses a much bigger story - the story of a past life and the nostalgia for that time, along with the present status. Very thoughtfully and carefully crafted. Best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2021
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This Naani expresses a much bigger story - the story of a past life and the nostalgia for that time, along with the present status. Very thoughtfully and carefully crafted. Best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
Comment Written 21-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2021
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Thank you, Wendy. I am very pleased you recognized the "bigger story" I am trying to convey in this short poem.
Comment from Paul McFarland
This is really good for a four liner. This evoked emotion when I read it. The adjective "solemn" goes very nicely with the mood of the poem. "unblessed with children's squeals" is a great phrase.
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2021
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This is really good for a four liner. This evoked emotion when I read it. The adjective "solemn" goes very nicely with the mood of the poem. "unblessed with children's squeals" is a great phrase.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2021
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Thank you very much, Paul, for your high praise of my poem.
Comment from Mary Shifman
I enjoyed your lovely poem. I'm not familiar with the Naani form but I've come across many poetic structures that I've never noticed before, or at least they weren't identified as to style. Nice work.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2021
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I enjoyed your lovely poem. I'm not familiar with the Naani form but I've come across many poetic structures that I've never noticed before, or at least they weren't identified as to style. Nice work.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2021
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Hi, Mary. Many thanks for sharing my poem. I discovered the Naani on this site and it appears as a contest prompt several times a year.
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You area welcome. I enjoyed it.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This Naani Poem speaks the place is solitary, only an oak tree stands at the backyard and the swing is empty; no noise, play, joy, movement of children; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this. ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2021
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This Naani Poem speaks the place is solitary, only an oak tree stands at the backyard and the swing is empty; no noise, play, joy, movement of children; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this. ALCREATOR
Comment Written 19-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2021
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Thank you for sharing my poem and your very perceptive review.
Comment from Eternal Muse
That is absolutely gorgeous. Your stunning artwork adds to the beauty of the poem.
Great imagery, visuals and artistic presentation. Best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2021
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That is absolutely gorgeous. Your stunning artwork adds to the beauty of the poem.
Great imagery, visuals and artistic presentation. Best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 19-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2021
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Many thanks for your kind praise of my poem. The artwork is indeed stunning and inspired the poem.
Comment from Mimi Linny
Your Naani for the writing prompt, missing the children that used to play and swing in the backyard. A sentiment that so many have once our children grow up. But, what wonderful memories. Nicely done and good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2021
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Your Naani for the writing prompt, missing the children that used to play and swing in the backyard. A sentiment that so many have once our children grow up. But, what wonderful memories. Nicely done and good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 19-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2021
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Many thanks for sharing my poem, Mimi, and your insightful comments. When school begins, I am most aware of the sudden silence in the neighborhood.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Very nice poem with lots of heart and a perfect picture to play the part of the lonely swing. You've even implied the silence and the loss of summertime children visiting. Best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2021
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Very nice poem with lots of heart and a perfect picture to play the part of the lonely swing. You've even implied the silence and the loss of summertime children visiting. Best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 19-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2021
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Thank you very much, Carol, for your kind praise and for your sage interpretation of my poem.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
You contest entry paints the end of summer well, Mystery Author. I enjoyed reading it. Your word choices are descriptive in a way that I could see this as I read. The image is a great pairing.
Best wishes in the contest.
Respectfully, Jan
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2021
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You contest entry paints the end of summer well, Mystery Author. I enjoyed reading it. Your word choices are descriptive in a way that I could see this as I read. The image is a great pairing.
Best wishes in the contest.
Respectfully, Jan
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2021
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Hi, Jan,I am delighted you could see the images as you read the poem. Many thanks for sharing.
