A Ghostly Entry
I did not believe in Ghosts until...28 total reviews
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
I enjoyed your contest entry. Your storyline flows smoothly with great details. I could see the old house and you moving about searching for something. The description of the father and his desk works well.
I would not capitalize the word ghosts in the third paragraph.
Best wishes in the contest.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2021
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I enjoyed your contest entry. Your storyline flows smoothly with great details. I could see the old house and you moving about searching for something. The description of the father and his desk works well.
I would not capitalize the word ghosts in the third paragraph.
Best wishes in the contest.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 19-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2021
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Thank you for your review and suggestion. I am glad you enjoyed the story. Take care.
Comment from Bill Schott
This story, A Ghostly Entry, is nicely paced to get the readers fom the slamming door to the emotional resolution of a father's belated sentoments. Good job with this.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2021
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This story, A Ghostly Entry, is nicely paced to get the readers fom the slamming door to the emotional resolution of a father's belated sentoments. Good job with this.
Comment Written 19-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2021
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Thank you for your review and I am glad you enjoyed the story. Take care and have a good day.
Comment from Aaron Milavec
Nice entry with the subtitle leading to the first line.
The story builds carefully and then, the surprise ending.
If you do not believe you will not see.
If you do not believe you will not see.
Exactly, Aaron
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2021
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Nice entry with the subtitle leading to the first line.
The story builds carefully and then, the surprise ending.
If you do not believe you will not see.
If you do not believe you will not see.
Exactly, Aaron
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2021
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Thanks Aaron for your review. Take care and have a good day.
Comment from blondie560
I loved this "ghost" story. How great to receive something you had hoped for, but thought you would never receive because of death. It gave me chills. When my father died many years back, there were people that would tell my mother they thought they had seen my father. We found it strange that he would visit distant friends, but not his family. I imagine how great it would have been to receive something from him like when I had my own children. Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2021
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I loved this "ghost" story. How great to receive something you had hoped for, but thought you would never receive because of death. It gave me chills. When my father died many years back, there were people that would tell my mother they thought they had seen my father. We found it strange that he would visit distant friends, but not his family. I imagine how great it would have been to receive something from him like when I had my own children. Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 19-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2021
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Thank you for your review. I really appreciate the comments. Please take care.
Comment from Patty Palmer
I enjoyed this story very much. It held my interest and I loved the ending. Every child wants and needs to be told they are loved. This would be a treasure to find. Great job!
Patty
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2021
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I enjoyed this story very much. It held my interest and I loved the ending. Every child wants and needs to be told they are loved. This would be a treasure to find. Great job!
Patty
Comment Written 19-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2021
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Patty, thanks for your review . I really do appreciate people who read and then review. Take care.
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You're welcome!
Patty
Comment from Wendy G
Well, I don't believe in ghosts, but your story gave me goosebumps! I loved the ending, as that would have been life-transforming to know of his love. That generation found it difficult to verbalise emotions. Best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2021
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Well, I don't believe in ghosts, but your story gave me goosebumps! I loved the ending, as that would have been life-transforming to know of his love. That generation found it difficult to verbalise emotions. Best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
Comment Written 18-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2021
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Thank you so much for your review and best wishes. You stay safe and have a good day.
Comment from Yardier
Aghast with ghostly premonitions! I fear to say more, lest a note is slipped beneath the door. Yes, there is one. What does it say? Love endures and always has.
Still, [my mind was berating me] consider [my mind berated me] and, [ like I was] searching for some long lost treasure. Why?] Consider [as if]
From a father without a father whose children consider me quaint. On a good day.
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2021
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Aghast with ghostly premonitions! I fear to say more, lest a note is slipped beneath the door. Yes, there is one. What does it say? Love endures and always has.
Still, [my mind was berating me] consider [my mind berated me] and, [ like I was] searching for some long lost treasure. Why?] Consider [as if]
From a father without a father whose children consider me quaint. On a good day.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2021
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Thanks so much for your review. Yes like your suggestions. Keep safe.
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Compelling story--held my interest--excellent narration moves it along smoothly to the stunning ending. This is unique among entries--it may be a winner.
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2021
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Compelling story--held my interest--excellent narration moves it along smoothly to the stunning ending. This is unique among entries--it may be a winner.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2021
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Thank you for your kind review .Lets see how it goes. Stay safe.
Comment from Scott Warnock
I love the combination of spooky and warm sentiment. You made it more believable by the protagonist not believing in ghosts. A nice surprise was at the end. Very enjoyable. Thank you.
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2021
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I love the combination of spooky and warm sentiment. You made it more believable by the protagonist not believing in ghosts. A nice surprise was at the end. Very enjoyable. Thank you.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2021
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Thanks for your kind review. I am glad you enjoyed the read. Take care.
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
In many ways we have haunted thoughts when loved ones pass, if we are not close to them. I like your story because it proved in the end that he said 'I love you' not just once but several times.
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2021
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In many ways we have haunted thoughts when loved ones pass, if we are not close to them. I like your story because it proved in the end that he said 'I love you' not just once but several times.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2021
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Thanks for your review and I am glad you liked the story. Stay safe.
