The Healer
A fictional story for Halloween3 total reviews
Comment from Zoë Ricard
This was a fun read! A lot of imagery and scene setting, which draws the reader deep into the story. The only critique I'd have is that it sort of ramped up suddenly - going along in one direction and then BOOM it does a quick switch and takes you down a different path. I really enjoyed reading it. You have a lot of talent!
Good luck in the contest!
Zoe
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2021
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This was a fun read! A lot of imagery and scene setting, which draws the reader deep into the story. The only critique I'd have is that it sort of ramped up suddenly - going along in one direction and then BOOM it does a quick switch and takes you down a different path. I really enjoyed reading it. You have a lot of talent!
Good luck in the contest!
Zoe
Comment Written 15-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2021
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Hi Zoe Ricard!
Thank you for the excellent rating and the feedback. I appreciate that you took the time to read my story and make comments. I'm glad you enjoyed the story. Thank you for the compliments too. They are nice to hear. Have a blessed weekend.
Comment from Pantygynt
A delightful variation on an old folk tale.
I particularly liked the subtle way the tale began with readers realising the venue was Ireland through patterns of speech. We were not told wee were shown. I also admired the way in which the dialect was shown using idiom rather than intentional mis-spelling, That technique maintains the flow much better and makes it easier to to read.
Having said that I do have a couple of suggestions for you.
'I was heading there anyway for a bit of whiskey myself.' => I think I might have written: 'for a drop o' the whiskey meself.'
"Do ya always wander around the fen at night?" => the 'ya' here jarred a little as being more American than Irish. I think I might have written 'Do youse wander...'
But these were minor points in a great little telling.
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2021
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A delightful variation on an old folk tale.
I particularly liked the subtle way the tale began with readers realising the venue was Ireland through patterns of speech. We were not told wee were shown. I also admired the way in which the dialect was shown using idiom rather than intentional mis-spelling, That technique maintains the flow much better and makes it easier to to read.
Having said that I do have a couple of suggestions for you.
'I was heading there anyway for a bit of whiskey myself.' => I think I might have written: 'for a drop o' the whiskey meself.'
"Do ya always wander around the fen at night?" => the 'ya' here jarred a little as being more American than Irish. I think I might have written 'Do youse wander...'
But these were minor points in a great little telling.
Comment Written 14-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2021
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Hi Pantygynt!
Thank you so much for the six-star rating and the feedback! I'm so glad you enjoyed the story. I appreciate that took the time to read my story and give feedback to me. I will fix those dialogue errors right away. Have a blessed week.
Comment from Wendy G
An interesting and well written story - and it maintained the interest till the end till one could see that Moira would be alright. Your story is imaginative and a creative take on the folk lore.
Wendy
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2021
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An interesting and well written story - and it maintained the interest till the end till one could see that Moira would be alright. Your story is imaginative and a creative take on the folk lore.
Wendy
Comment Written 14-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2021
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Hi Wendy G!
Thank you for the excellent rating and the feedback. I appreciate that took the time to read my story and make comments. I'm glad you enjoyed the story. Have a blessed week.
