Reviews from

Football - A Novel

Viewing comments for Chapter 52 "Football Chapter 26 part 2"
A mother faces life's struggles.

26 total reviews 
Comment from Anne Johnston
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I have been out of town for a few days, so just getting to read this chapter today, had a lot of messages to catch up on. Sounds like she is going to get some help in this custody battle.

 Comment Written 16-Sep-2021


reply by the author on 16-Sep-2021
    I hope she does. Thank you for the kind review and welcome back.
reply by Anne Johnston on 16-Sep-2021
    You are welcome
reply by Anne Johnston on 16-Sep-2021
    You are welcome
Comment from pookietoo
Excellent
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A nice story. Keep up with the story writing and sharing your story with us. I enjoyed reading this story. Good luck to you and best wishes. Keep smiling.

 Comment Written 16-Sep-2021


reply by the author on 16-Sep-2021
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Cogitator
Excellent
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If I were to post word counts of my work, I probably would not get as many reviews. As succinct as I am, I still can fill pages of prose that may get wordy. Nice flow in this piece, Ulla. Great job!!...John

 Comment Written 16-Sep-2021


reply by the author on 16-Sep-2021
    Thank you for the kind review. I do the word count just to be safe.
Comment from JudyE
Excellent
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I found this very interesting and just had one comment to make, if that's okay. I haven't been around for a while but I'll try to follow this as I enjoyed it very much.

So, for what it's worth:
Troy's eyes met Gabriel's. "I think it's time I leave. - did you mean 'time I left'? or perhaps 'time to leave'?

Best wishes
Judy

 Comment Written 16-Sep-2021


reply by the author on 16-Sep-2021
    Thank you for the kind review. I think either is okay. But I do like left so I will change it.
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
Excellent
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I feel like the roof is caving in on Katherine. No matter what she does, she is a victim. Money can drive someone to do nasty things; it is clearly what is happening in this story. Sounds like a non fiction instead of fiction.

 Comment Written 15-Sep-2021


reply by the author on 16-Sep-2021
    Thank you for the kind review. It's classified as realistic fiction.
Comment from estory
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Great chapter. This was really well done, mostly through dialogue, and the emotions of the characters, Katherine, and Gabe, came through loud and clear. It was also very realistic, and the lawyer had that cool, businesslike, confident air that lawyers often have. We also see how these two are falling into each other's arms, finally chucking aside their inhibitions and baggage, and going to the brink of a full blown relationship. We get all the manipulation by Katherine's ex and his family as well. I think this has a lot of polish and you might try running it by an editor. estory

 Comment Written 15-Sep-2021


reply by the author on 15-Sep-2021
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from sandramitchell
Excellent
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Another excellent chapter, Barbara, I knew that Frost creature would turn up sooner of later. I hope Katherine sues him for defamation of character, and her in-laws. I'm glad she has a good lawyer, Gabe knows all the right poeple. I'm glad they have committed to each other, they are good together. I'm looking forward to the next part! Well done, my friend. :)) Sandra xx

 Comment Written 15-Sep-2021


reply by the author on 15-Sep-2021
    Frost will show up at least once more. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from robyn corum
Excellent
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Barb,

Wow. I was really hurting with Katherine in this one. She has had everything in the world thrown at her, hasn't she? She's just trying to be a mom and raise her kids and folks want to interrupt that with nonsense. Bless her heart!

A note:
--> Katherine made Jordan comfortable on the couch before (saying),

Nice job!

 Comment Written 14-Sep-2021


reply by the author on 14-Sep-2021
    Thank you for the kind review. I'm off to fix my error.
Comment from Pam (respa)
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

-A good image and
chapter to go with it, barbara.
-Good use of descriptive detail,
beginning with the description
of Gabe in his car seeing the
Lincoln behind him.
-I like the lawyer and his approach.
-He was very thorough even though
some of the things were going
to be hurtful to Katherine.
-She already has so much to get through.
-I don't imagine this is going to
be an easy trial to get through, but
you never know what a lawyer might
come up. I think she has a good one, though.

 Comment Written 14-Sep-2021


reply by the author on 14-Sep-2021
    Thank you for the kind review. Yes, Katherine's plate is full.
reply by Pam (respa) on 14-Sep-2021
    You are welcome.
Comment from judiverse
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Don't worry about the length. I can understand that Katherine's upset about the in-laws' attempt to gain custody. Since they haven't even made an effort to see the boys, they won't get very far, but it's natural that she'd worry. You might want to increase the amount of money they inherited. In today's terms, $150,000 wouldn't a very expensive house, plus allow for travel. The despicable story that Frost spread seems to have been taken seriously by some. It hasn't helped Katherine that Gabriel has made himself such a presence. It is wise of them to cool it until the custody situation gets resolved. Great work with this. judi

 Comment Written 13-Sep-2021


reply by the author on 14-Sep-2021
    Thank you for the kind review. I will think about increasing the amount.
reply by judiverse on 14-Sep-2021
    You're welcome. Housing is probably cheaper in Texas than in many other states, but I would up the amount the in-laws received. judi
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2021
    Housing is a lot cheaper here.