Salted Butter
personal account17 total reviews
Comment from lyenochka
Oh, Santha! Your post makes me think of my week with my parents. I'm both sad but full of admiration for you as you are the caregiver for your mother (and your brother, too!) How much patience is required of you daily! Thank you for giving me this glimpse and the warning about what to look for as others of us are "watching and waiting" as we observe our elderly parents. Best wishes in the contest.
Some comments:
"You Don't Like Butter?" (You don't like butter?) Capitalize only if it's a title. If you are showing raised volume, you could use "?!" but British English doesn't like multiple punctuation. So maybe capitalize the WHOLE thing?
Punctuation and spacing issues:
for Sunday breakfast . (close quote needed) and also after
It is salty, you know.
All changes in dialogue speakers should be a new paragraph with a blank line in between. Also, a space after each sentence is needed. Some were missing here. This was mostly in the conversation between you and your cousin.
I used to wonder, none of my mothers siblings (mother's) Maybe instead of a comma a semicolon would be better as these are two independent sentences.
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2021
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Oh, Santha! Your post makes me think of my week with my parents. I'm both sad but full of admiration for you as you are the caregiver for your mother (and your brother, too!) How much patience is required of you daily! Thank you for giving me this glimpse and the warning about what to look for as others of us are "watching and waiting" as we observe our elderly parents. Best wishes in the contest.
Some comments:
"You Don't Like Butter?" (You don't like butter?) Capitalize only if it's a title. If you are showing raised volume, you could use "?!" but British English doesn't like multiple punctuation. So maybe capitalize the WHOLE thing?
Punctuation and spacing issues:
for Sunday breakfast . (close quote needed) and also after
It is salty, you know.
All changes in dialogue speakers should be a new paragraph with a blank line in between. Also, a space after each sentence is needed. Some were missing here. This was mostly in the conversation between you and your cousin.
I used to wonder, none of my mothers siblings (mother's) Maybe instead of a comma a semicolon would be better as these are two independent sentences.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2021
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helen thanks so much for pointing these spags .I should have gone through every line before clicking 'save'. I did it yesterday night and it was time for my mother's dinner
was there a wide gap between the two sections?
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No, there wasn't a wide gap between the two sections. Just the conversation with the cousin didn't have the usual blank lines between changes of speaker.
Comment from Seshadri_Sreenivasan
When she is reciting Vishnusahasranamam and Lakshmi Ashtothram, what is the problem? She is doing perfectly fine. We all go blank sometimes and some people refuse to remember. Maybe your mother belongs to the latter one. Maybe she doesn't want to remember. Before signing off, I wanted to write a quote. But I forget what it was. OK. forget it! I am touched by your write on your mother. Poignant. I wish her well.
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2021
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When she is reciting Vishnusahasranamam and Lakshmi Ashtothram, what is the problem? She is doing perfectly fine. We all go blank sometimes and some people refuse to remember. Maybe your mother belongs to the latter one. Maybe she doesn't want to remember. Before signing off, I wanted to write a quote. But I forget what it was. OK. forget it! I am touched by your write on your mother. Poignant. I wish her well.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2021
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I hope so ,I pray for it too.I used to think that her memory is better than mine. This is the first time she is showing such a total black out
Thank you for the six stars. I am sorry my replies are late.
Comment from Mary Shifman
This is an interesting and poignant post. My mother first had Sun Downers then it progressed to Dementia. By the time she passed she did not know any of us. It is a hard path for both the patient and the caregivers. My heart goes out to you and your family.
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2021
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This is an interesting and poignant post. My mother first had Sun Downers then it progressed to Dementia. By the time she passed she did not know any of us. It is a hard path for both the patient and the caregivers. My heart goes out to you and your family.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2021
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Thank you very much.My mother's sister also could not recognise any of her children. That iswhy I am so scared...Iam praying and keeping my fingers crossed.
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I'm so sorry. I know it's a very hard thing for people who love those who suffer from this terrible disease to go through. I wish I had more to offer than sympathy. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Mary
Comment from Sherry Asbury
Excellent story and in it I see concern for the beginning of one of the mind diseases. I worked in Hospice and with patients who were challenged this way. Patience is a must - and the ability to overlook snitty remarks and bursts of temper. I was very interested in your remarks about your beliefs...you let them stand on their own, making them more interesting. Fine work here.
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2021
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Excellent story and in it I see concern for the beginning of one of the mind diseases. I worked in Hospice and with patients who were challenged this way. Patience is a must - and the ability to overlook snitty remarks and bursts of temper. I was very interested in your remarks about your beliefs...you let them stand on their own, making them more interesting. Fine work here.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2021
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Thank you very much for the understanding .I am praying and keeping my fingers crossed .I know i was snappy with her and i will try my best to be patient.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I enjoyed reading the story, but there were so much spag that it became difficult to read. Please make corrections and repost. I stopped pointing them out.
I sat next to my mother at the dining table. (I sat beside my mother, it has to deal the definition of the words.)
"What are you doing?," my mother exclaimed. (You don't need the comma here, the question mark is perfect.)
"But why?.You know I don't like butter" (Why is there a period after the question mark?)
"I don't know any such thing. Last Sunday you had your toast with butter", I paused, and pointed to the bowl, "this Salted Butter. In fact every Sunday morning you have been having it for the last ten years.
"NO"!. My mother was getting angry. (this is very confusing. I'm not sure but I think there should be quotation marks after years and a space before "NO!" but no clue why you have period after the exclamation point.)
"I have never ever taken this butter.Why are you like this today"? (This isn't the first time but after a punctuation mark you need a space before the next sentence, also the question mark goes before the quotation marks.)
"What else can I have other than this bread and jam!. You never make anything for Sunday breakfast .
I ignored the accusation. I had long stopped making elaborate Indian breakfast on Sundays. (period closer to breakfast and then quotation marks. You also need a space after it because it's dialogue)
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reply by the author on 13-Sep-2021
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I enjoyed reading the story, but there were so much spag that it became difficult to read. Please make corrections and repost. I stopped pointing them out.
I sat next to my mother at the dining table. (I sat beside my mother, it has to deal the definition of the words.)
"What are you doing?," my mother exclaimed. (You don't need the comma here, the question mark is perfect.)
"But why?.You know I don't like butter" (Why is there a period after the question mark?)
"I don't know any such thing. Last Sunday you had your toast with butter", I paused, and pointed to the bowl, "this Salted Butter. In fact every Sunday morning you have been having it for the last ten years.
"NO"!. My mother was getting angry. (this is very confusing. I'm not sure but I think there should be quotation marks after years and a space before "NO!" but no clue why you have period after the exclamation point.)
"I have never ever taken this butter.Why are you like this today"? (This isn't the first time but after a punctuation mark you need a space before the next sentence, also the question mark goes before the quotation marks.)
"What else can I have other than this bread and jam!. You never make anything for Sunday breakfast .
I ignored the accusation. I had long stopped making elaborate Indian breakfast on Sundays. (period closer to breakfast and then quotation marks. You also need a space after it because it's dialogue)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2021
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Thank you for reading. I edited it and I think it is somewhat okay.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
That is one illness I'd hate to have because we don't know we have it! It's such a sad one for the family since they are the ones that have to deal with it and have the patience of a saint. But, we have to remember they our parents looked after us and now it's out turn. Mine are both long passed. This is a really excellent story on Alzheimers and how it seems to suddenly come. Well done. :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2021
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That is one illness I'd hate to have because we don't know we have it! It's such a sad one for the family since they are the ones that have to deal with it and have the patience of a saint. But, we have to remember they our parents looked after us and now it's out turn. Mine are both long passed. This is a really excellent story on Alzheimers and how it seems to suddenly come. Well done. :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 12-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2021
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I know. I was snappy that day and later after talking to my cousin-doctor regretted it. I am prayng that this is just one off.I used to think that her memory was better than mine!
Thak you for being compassionate.
Comment from SHABAMO
Very well written and I certainly enjoyed the insights into Hinduism. Not that it is a requirement, but I did find it hard to view the characters or setting in any visual way.
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reply by the author on 13-Sep-2021
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Very well written and I certainly enjoyed the insights into Hinduism. Not that it is a requirement, but I did find it hard to view the characters or setting in any visual way.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2021
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Thank you very much for your kind words.
