Salted Butter
personal account17 total reviews
Comment from Judy Lawless
As a person who has lost a parent and an aunt to Alzheimer's and now observes two siblings headed in the same direction, I can share your pain and fear, and I understand how hard it is to be patient. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2021
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As a person who has lost a parent and an aunt to Alzheimer's and now observes two siblings headed in the same direction, I can share your pain and fear, and I understand how hard it is to be patient. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 16-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2021
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Thank you very much for the understanding words.I pray that i get the patience when it is neded
Comment from pookietoo
A wonderful story that I enjoyed reading. Keep up the great work writing stories. Keep smiling. Good luck and best wishes. Keep sharing your stories with us.
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2021
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A wonderful story that I enjoyed reading. Keep up the great work writing stories. Keep smiling. Good luck and best wishes. Keep sharing your stories with us.
Comment Written 15-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2021
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Thank you very much.
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You are welcome. I would appreciate it if you would read and review my Jessica's Year of seeing nature story.
Comment from Aussie
Your heartfelt script about your personal encounter with the terrible loss of memory; in the end, they don't recognize their own kin and live in a bubble that is another world. Of course they have lucid times, unfortunately the disease is progressive. I would be interested to have you write more about your faith? Blessings, K xx
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2021
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Your heartfelt script about your personal encounter with the terrible loss of memory; in the end, they don't recognize their own kin and live in a bubble that is another world. Of course they have lucid times, unfortunately the disease is progressive. I would be interested to have you write more about your faith? Blessings, K xx
Comment Written 15-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2021
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Thank you very much for your beautiful comments.I will try to include a little bit of my faith in my postings. But I am not sure it will be appreciated
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Well, knowledge is power. I love to learn. Just because it isn't following Christianity, you have your path to follow. I will read it! K xx
Comment from Midi O'Rourke
Well written piece on the beginnings of dementia. It's frightful. It does take a lot of patience and researching the disease to cope. I think dementia patients need kindness whenever you can slip it in. They always forget, but for a moment they smiled.
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2021
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Well written piece on the beginnings of dementia. It's frightful. It does take a lot of patience and researching the disease to cope. I think dementia patients need kindness whenever you can slip it in. They always forget, but for a moment they smiled.
Comment Written 13-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2021
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Thank you very much for understanding
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
You did a good job with your personal account of the illness affecting your mother. Your attention to details, though fiction, is great. Your story is well organized, there' smooth flow, and good interaction with the characters.
Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2021
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You did a good job with your personal account of the illness affecting your mother. Your attention to details, though fiction, is great. Your story is well organized, there' smooth flow, and good interaction with the characters.
Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 13-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2021
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It happened exactly as I wrote ..Only thing there was more arguing which I cut out in order to reduce the length.
Thank you very much. I value your opinion.
Comment from Bill Schott
This story, Salted Butter, seems to be an up close and personal capture of a tense moment with a lady slowly slipping into dementia. Seems taken from a true incident.
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2021
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This story, Salted Butter, seems to be an up close and personal capture of a tense moment with a lady slowly slipping into dementia. Seems taken from a true incident.
Comment Written 13-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2021
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Yes this is a a true story.My mother is 88 and lives with .I always thought her memory was better than mine .So it was a shock to know that a tiny piece of her memory gas totally gone .I am still keeping my fingers closed
Comment from lancellot
Good conversation and topic. I like the pacing, interactions and conclusion. There is a lot of house keeping editing though. I have mark most of it, I think.
notes:
"I don't know any such thing. Last Sunday you had your toast with {butter",} I paused,
- comma placement
In fact every Sunday morning you have been having it for the last ten {years".}
- period placement
{"NO"! }My mother was getting angry.
"I have never ever taken this butter. Why are you like this {today"?}
- Your punctuations are moving outside your quote marks.
You never make anything for Sunday {breakfast".}
- here too
"Aren't you perhaps forgetting. You never had any complaints about butter all these {years .Why now?"}
- here
"Okay. So you want only jam. What about cheese? It is salty, you know.["]
-add
"I know it is salty,["] she snapped. I will have {cheese.You} know I like {cheese".}
- three fixes
"Yes". I sighed.
- here too
"That is good. What about the scriptures, Ramayana and Bagavath?["]
-missing
"She spends almost two hours a day for spiritual pursuits. She does not spare any God!["]
"Ah. She was always very religious. I used to wonder, none of my mothers siblings had that quality.["]
"Yes. Both Vishnu's and Laxmi's. Every day. But she still needs to hold the {book".}
"That is okay. Maybe her concentration would slip {otherwise".}
"No".
"I don't think at this stage we should panic.You know Hema aunty is coming in October. I will bring her and come and see her. They can talk about old times and let's see. Meanwhile...["]
"I will".
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2021
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Good conversation and topic. I like the pacing, interactions and conclusion. There is a lot of house keeping editing though. I have mark most of it, I think.
notes:
"I don't know any such thing. Last Sunday you had your toast with {butter",} I paused,
- comma placement
In fact every Sunday morning you have been having it for the last ten {years".}
- period placement
{"NO"! }My mother was getting angry.
"I have never ever taken this butter. Why are you like this {today"?}
- Your punctuations are moving outside your quote marks.
You never make anything for Sunday {breakfast".}
- here too
"Aren't you perhaps forgetting. You never had any complaints about butter all these {years .Why now?"}
- here
"Okay. So you want only jam. What about cheese? It is salty, you know.["]
-add
"I know it is salty,["] she snapped. I will have {cheese.You} know I like {cheese".}
- three fixes
"Yes". I sighed.
- here too
"That is good. What about the scriptures, Ramayana and Bagavath?["]
-missing
"She spends almost two hours a day for spiritual pursuits. She does not spare any God!["]
"Ah. She was always very religious. I used to wonder, none of my mothers siblings had that quality.["]
"Yes. Both Vishnu's and Laxmi's. Every day. But she still needs to hold the {book".}
"That is okay. Maybe her concentration would slip {otherwise".}
"No".
"I don't think at this stage we should panic.You know Hema aunty is coming in October. I will bring her and come and see her. They can talk about old times and let's see. Meanwhile...["]
"I will".
Comment Written 13-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2021
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Thank you very much for taking trouble to point out the (mis)placement of quotations and fullstops(sorry I am used to Brit English).
I have replaced the quotation marks outside .
I would be very happy if you tell me any grammatical and syntactical errors or wrong usages .Thanks a lot.
Comment from Janetsue
It is very sad seeing a loved one suffering with a progressive disease that cannot be stopped. Family members who help each other in caring for an Alzheimer patient are a wonderful group of people with love in their hearts.
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2021
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It is very sad seeing a loved one suffering with a progressive disease that cannot be stopped. Family members who help each other in caring for an Alzheimer patient are a wonderful group of people with love in their hearts.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2021
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Thank you very much for this understanding review. My aunt had a very bad case of Alzheimer's .That is why I am so tense about her total memory blank. This is the first time it hs happened.I am keeping my fingers crossed
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Heartrending to contemplate--you nailed the frustration of caretaker witnessing decline. Brings back bad memories.
Heads-up--you classified this as fiction--personal account?
none of my mothers=>MOTHER'S siblings had that quality.
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2021
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Heartrending to contemplate--you nailed the frustration of caretaker witnessing decline. Brings back bad memories.
Heads-up--you classified this as fiction--personal account?
none of my mothers=>MOTHER'S siblings had that quality.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2021
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Yes.This is the first time she has shown such a total black out .I used to think that her memory is better than mine
Thanks for dropping by.
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My father and his mother got diagnosed with Alzheimer's at age 70--symptoms a few years preceding--my clock is ticking. Hope you evade her fate.
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
incidents like these can be very troubling and confusing, not to mention frustrating for all involved.
I would give this piece another pass over for editing and proofing. there are quite a few missing pieces of punctuation, mainly speech marks. there are also numerous spots where double punctuation has been used which isn't necessary.
I made some notes as I read through but you can check for more of these if you desire-
table. I took a piece of toast and started buttering it
. - move the period to the line above straight after it.
Can't you see. I am buttering your toast - should probably have a question mark following see.
"But why? You know I don't like butter"- need end punctuation before the closing speech marks.
only unsalted butter, that too made at home, by me".- move the period at the end here inside of the closing speech marks.
on the plate. I said carefully.
"I don't - the dialogue here could come (should come) straight after the tag rather than on a separate paragraph.
Sunday morning you have been having it for the last ten years. - insert speech marks at the end here to close off this dialogue.
"NO"! My mother was getting angry. - insert a clear line above this.
"I have never ever taken this butter. Why are you like this today"?- the question mark should come before the closing speech marks.
What else can I have other than this bread and jam!.- you don't need the period following the exclamation mark.
You never make anything for Sunday breakfast. - closing speech marks needed at the end here.
"Okay. So you want only jam. What about cheese? It is salty, you know.- closing speech marks needed here.
"I know it is salty, she snapped. I will have cheese.You know I like cheese".- she snapped should be outside of the speech tags. you need to close and then reopen them on either side.
"Yes". I sighed. This is a total blank out. Can one piece of memory be completely wiped out suddenly? Is she trying to needle me?- in this entire section from this point on, I would insert clear lines between the paragraphs as you have done earlier.
All the best
GMG
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2021
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Hi there,
incidents like these can be very troubling and confusing, not to mention frustrating for all involved.
I would give this piece another pass over for editing and proofing. there are quite a few missing pieces of punctuation, mainly speech marks. there are also numerous spots where double punctuation has been used which isn't necessary.
I made some notes as I read through but you can check for more of these if you desire-
table. I took a piece of toast and started buttering it
. - move the period to the line above straight after it.
Can't you see. I am buttering your toast - should probably have a question mark following see.
"But why? You know I don't like butter"- need end punctuation before the closing speech marks.
only unsalted butter, that too made at home, by me".- move the period at the end here inside of the closing speech marks.
on the plate. I said carefully.
"I don't - the dialogue here could come (should come) straight after the tag rather than on a separate paragraph.
Sunday morning you have been having it for the last ten years. - insert speech marks at the end here to close off this dialogue.
"NO"! My mother was getting angry. - insert a clear line above this.
"I have never ever taken this butter. Why are you like this today"?- the question mark should come before the closing speech marks.
What else can I have other than this bread and jam!.- you don't need the period following the exclamation mark.
You never make anything for Sunday breakfast. - closing speech marks needed at the end here.
"Okay. So you want only jam. What about cheese? It is salty, you know.- closing speech marks needed here.
"I know it is salty, she snapped. I will have cheese.You know I like cheese".- she snapped should be outside of the speech tags. you need to close and then reopen them on either side.
"Yes". I sighed. This is a total blank out. Can one piece of memory be completely wiped out suddenly? Is she trying to needle me?- in this entire section from this point on, I would insert clear lines between the paragraphs as you have done earlier.
All the best
GMG
Comment Written 12-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2021
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Thank you very much .I have done a lot of editing. Now only I saw that there is a wide between two sections. I should have checked all these .I will be more careful in future.
