Comment from Nubian Queen Shyt

Good

Nice! It actually gave a vibe that it was written by a child which is a good thing. Hopefully that is what you wanting to project because I feel that was definitely a great execution !

 Comment Written 11-Sep-2021

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reply by the author on 11-Sep-2021

Only 4 stars?

Comment from PoemsOfDD

Excellent

This is a fun children's rhyming poem. You can really get a sense of the child named Jimmy and all that he gets himself into with the stuff he enjoys.
I notice 9 syllables per line. This line only has 8 syllables. A suggestion would be....

"He loves to fetch a stick and a ball.
My daddy is my bestest pal."
or
He loves to fetch a stick and a ball.
My daddy is my best pal of all.
or
He loves to fetch a stick and a ball.
My dad is my bestest pal of all.

Also, just a suggestion...

"I enjoy collecting lots of rocks.
I find enjoyment in taking walks."
or
I enjoy collecting lots of rocks.
I like to wear unusual socks.

Food for thought. Best of luck and thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 11-Sep-2021

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reply by the author on 11-Sep-2021

Thanks for the line on socks. I changed it to that.

reply by PoemsOfDD on 11-Sep-2021

pleasure :-)