Comment from dragonpoet

Excellent

This is a sad view of society in general. There are some people that feel this way. You did choose your images well. All lead back to something that can't seem to be fixed.
I think your last statement shows the complete brokenness. I think that if we learn to take care of each other, some to the pieces can be put back together
Keep writing and stay healthy
Joan

 Comment Written 09-Sep-2021

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reply by the author on 13-Sep-2021

Thanks for the excellent review and I am glad the piece was evocative enough to make people think. Keep with this series and you will see where the light comes in and the world changes. estory

reply by dragonpoet on 14-Sep-2021

You're welcome.
Joan

Comment from Jesse James Doty

Excellent

This is a powerful piece with excellent descriptive words defining our current culture and what it symbolizes. Your author's notes are always informative and supply needed reasons for why the poem goes how it goes. One spag I noticed is on the third line from the bottom...you use the word 'passed' when I think you mean 'past.' Walking past the windows of the stores is how I suggest you write it. Just a thought and, please don't take offense. Well written and thought-provoking, this piece represents the common person quite well.
Have a good evening, my friend,
Jesse

 Comment Written 09-Sep-2021

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reply by the author on 13-Sep-2021

Thanks so much for the excellent review and your wonderful words of support and suggestions. I will give it an edit for spag at some point. But I am glad the poem was evocative enough to make so many people think. Keep with this series and it will begin to turn into the light. estory

reply by Jesse James Doty on 15-Sep-2021

Yes, this made me think, my friend.
I will keep with the series, and I look forward to reading them.
Have a great evening,
Jesse

Comment from Jasmine Girl

Excellent

You are writing about people you and I don't know. The bottom will be left behind more and more. The government are giving them checks. I hear that there are not enough Uber drivers, restaurant cooks. The bottom is not that poor. But the rich is getting richer so sure.

Well done.

 Comment Written 09-Sep-2021

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reply by the author on 13-Sep-2021

Thanks for the excellent review and your perspective on the poem. But I am not sure you got what I was trying to say here. I am talking about the morals of society at large, in this materialistic, self centered world. It doesn't matter if you are rich or poor. Its whats in your heart that counts. estory

Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose

Excellent

Apocalypse pt. 12
by estory

Interesting poem about a broken society. Your poem flows well. It draws on emotions and it presents strong images.

Gypsy

 Comment Written 09-Sep-2021

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reply by the author on 13-Sep-2021

Thanks for the wonderful words of support I appreciate it. estory

Comment from Carlos' girl

Excellent

I like this poem very much. It is so relevant to our times. I like that you arent afraid to say openly this must be the End. It is on many peoples minds but they dont speak about it openly. Love is the answer. Nice work

 Comment Written 09-Sep-2021

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reply by the author on 13-Sep-2021

Thanks for the excellent review and your interesting perspective on the piece. Stick with this series and it will begin to turn into the light. estory

reply by Carlos' girl on 13-Sep-2021

Thanks for sharing

Comment from BethShelby

Excellent

This is a very dark picture of the world we live in today you paint, with the lines of your free verse poem. Unfortunately, there is a lot of truth in this poem. Hopefully, we aren't all completely broken, but there is enough to wonder if this is the end. Your poem make us look around and hope it isn't too late for some of the brokeness to be repaired.

 Comment Written 09-Sep-2021

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reply by the author on 13-Sep-2021

Thanks for the excellent review and I am glad the poem was evocative enough to get so many people thinking. I like to make people think. Stick with the series and it will begin to turn into the light as it leaves this world behind. estory

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

First, I thought I was a fan of yours and since this didn't come into my PM box, I guess I am not. I will immediately fix that. Now for the review. I enjoyed reading and I also feel our culture is broke. You described it very well.

 Comment Written 09-Sep-2021

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reply by the author on 13-Sep-2021

Thanks again for the excellent review and all your words of support for my piece. estory

Comment from C. Gale Burnett

Excellent

I love how you put this together, accomplishing everything you set out to do as described in your author notes. Strong imagery. I could sense millions of people, lost, walking aimlessly through the days.

These days it feels the world has gotten too close to edge.

Great ending lines about materialism no longer having meaning.

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 Comment Written 09-Sep-2021

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reply by the author on 13-Sep-2021

Thanks for the excellent review and your wonderful words of support for this piece. I appreciate all the support. estory

reply by C. Gale Burnett on 14-Sep-2021

You are so very welcome :)

Comment from lancellot

Excellent

Yes, I have to agree with you, there is a sense of brokenness in everything we used to hold dear. The pillars that hold up our society are fractured and failing. This effects everything else. Without the foundation those pillars provide, our society will fall and crumble.

Your poem does a good job of reflecting.



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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 09-Sep-2021

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reply by the author on 13-Sep-2021

Thanks for the excellent review and for your interesting perspective on the piece. I am glad it was evocative enough to get so many thinking. I like to make people think. estory