Jessica's Year of Seeing Nature
There are so many beautiful things46 total reviews
Comment from Sugarray77
Hello... I enjoyed reading your story where Jessica goes throughout her year observing and noticing the different things that happen through the seasons. Your choices of examples were beautiful and lovely. Well done.
Melissa
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2021
  |
Hello... I enjoyed reading your story where Jessica goes throughout her year observing and noticing the different things that happen through the seasons. Your choices of examples were beautiful and lovely. Well done.
Melissa
Comment Written 15-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2021
-
Thanks very much!
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Very nice artwork for your story.
-You did a good job with it.
-The opening paragraph is
very good and catches the reader's interest.
-I like how you use Jessica for
the focal point as she explores
nature in each of the seasons.
-You give many examples of
what she enjoys, from birds,
flowers, gardens, and finally, the zoo.
-A good concluding line, and I
believe that Jessica appreciated
the beauties of nature, too.
-A nice segue from the opening
to the closing with "I believe."
-Good luck in the contest!
-I enjoyed your story.
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2021
|
-Very nice artwork for your story.
-You did a good job with it.
-The opening paragraph is
very good and catches the reader's interest.
-I like how you use Jessica for
the focal point as she explores
nature in each of the seasons.
-You give many examples of
what she enjoys, from birds,
flowers, gardens, and finally, the zoo.
-A good concluding line, and I
believe that Jessica appreciated
the beauties of nature, too.
-A nice segue from the opening
to the closing with "I believe."
-Good luck in the contest!
-I enjoyed your story.
Comment Written 15-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2021
-
The contest is over, but thanks for the wonderful review!
-
You are very welcome.
Comment from dellsworthpoet
A nice picture of the simplicity of youth. The pace is good. The progression through the year is nice. The simple language adds to the child-like quality of the subject.
My only suggestion is the third paragraph from the end seems to contain several subjects. It mentions late summer and apples. It then goes to sunsets. Then skips to winter activities. Rearranging this information in separate paragraphs might flow better.
Thanks for the invite to review. A good read.
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2021
|
A nice picture of the simplicity of youth. The pace is good. The progression through the year is nice. The simple language adds to the child-like quality of the subject.
My only suggestion is the third paragraph from the end seems to contain several subjects. It mentions late summer and apples. It then goes to sunsets. Then skips to winter activities. Rearranging this information in separate paragraphs might flow better.
Thanks for the invite to review. A good read.
Comment Written 15-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2021
-
You are welcome.
Comment from Mike Stevens
A beautiful story, pookietoo, of appreciating the good things in life, not dwelling on the negative, which seems to be all the rage now days from some of our elected or unelected officials
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2021
|
A beautiful story, pookietoo, of appreciating the good things in life, not dwelling on the negative, which seems to be all the rage now days from some of our elected or unelected officials
Comment Written 15-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2021
-
Thanks very much.
Comment from Lana Marie
Oh the joys of being a child and enjoying God's nature with all of its beauty. My kids grandparents lived in Evergreen Colorado and they met a family there with the last name of Downing. I know Evergreen is not that big so it would've been interesting if this was a non-fiction story if they knew each other.
Your story felt so sweet and innocent.
The only thing I noticed was in this sentence you might want to take out the word "had"
(Next to the Jensen family lived had a dear neighbor, Mrs. Thomas, who had a big flower garden.)
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2021
|
Oh the joys of being a child and enjoying God's nature with all of its beauty. My kids grandparents lived in Evergreen Colorado and they met a family there with the last name of Downing. I know Evergreen is not that big so it would've been interesting if this was a non-fiction story if they knew each other.
Your story felt so sweet and innocent.
The only thing I noticed was in this sentence you might want to take out the word "had"
(Next to the Jensen family lived had a dear neighbor, Mrs. Thomas, who had a big flower garden.)
Comment Written 15-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2021
-
This story is fiction, thank you.
-
Why should I take the word had out? Mrs. Thomas had a big flower garden.
-
Sorry not the word had by the big flower garden, the first ?had? that?s next to a dear neighbor. your sentence reads ?next to the Jensen family lived (had)a dear neighbor?
Comment from Kamrynn June
POOKIETOO-This story is lovely! I am truly in a happier state of mind after reading it. I feel comforted, like being wrapped up in a warm blanket. I am overcome with thankfulness once again for all of the beautiful things God created. These are all things I notice myself when I am out in nature. I'm hoping that because of that, I'm remaining somehow childlike on the inside and try to shine light on others.
Thank you for this!!
Kamrynn
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2021
 |
POOKIETOO-This story is lovely! I am truly in a happier state of mind after reading it. I feel comforted, like being wrapped up in a warm blanket. I am overcome with thankfulness once again for all of the beautiful things God created. These are all things I notice myself when I am out in nature. I'm hoping that because of that, I'm remaining somehow childlike on the inside and try to shine light on others.
Thank you for this!!
Kamrynn
Comment Written 15-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2021
-
You are so welcome. I am glad you are touched by the story.
Comment from Ben Colder
This deserves much more than I can offer at this time. I love the simplicity of children and the happiness they express, much like Jesus when stating; they are such as the Kingdom of God. So innocent and joy to be near. Best to you in the contest.
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2021
|
This deserves much more than I can offer at this time. I love the simplicity of children and the happiness they express, much like Jesus when stating; they are such as the Kingdom of God. So innocent and joy to be near. Best to you in the contest.
Comment Written 15-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2021
-
The contest is over, but thanks very much for your nice words.
Comment from Sanku
Jessica reminds me of myself when I was young .I used to love seeing flowers and I used to love watching clouds change their shape. You write very well .words flow smoothly and the language is beautiful
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2021
|
Jessica reminds me of myself when I was young .I used to love seeing flowers and I used to love watching clouds change their shape. You write very well .words flow smoothly and the language is beautiful
Comment Written 15-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2021
-
Thanks so much!
Comment from Paul McFarland
I believe that Jessica is a very lucky little girl. God did create all those nice things, but there are still little girls in places like Afghanistan where little girls are not so lucky. I believed that there was still hope for those little girls up until just recently.
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2021
|
I believe that Jessica is a very lucky little girl. God did create all those nice things, but there are still little girls in places like Afghanistan where little girls are not so lucky. I believed that there was still hope for those little girls up until just recently.
Comment Written 15-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2021
-
Thanks for your review!
Comment from Wils
A nice piece that reminds us of how special the world is. There are a few spots where it seems you are listing Jessica's daily activities (She did this, she did that).
Thanks for sharing and keep writing.
Geoff
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2021
|
A nice piece that reminds us of how special the world is. There are a few spots where it seems you are listing Jessica's daily activities (She did this, she did that).
Thanks for sharing and keep writing.
Geoff
Comment Written 15-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2021
-
Yes. I listed all of the things she enjoyed doing that involved nature.
