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Secrets in the Wind

Viewing comments for Chapter 46 "Secrets in the Wind - Chap 46"
A story of loss, deceit, murder and crime

16 total reviews 
Comment from Gert sherwood
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

When I read this part of your to me very emontial. Begin Again you did well telling when --

A tear rolled from the corner of Jon's eye as he hung his head in shame. "You're right. Don't waste your tears on me. I blamed my parents, the world, and especially God for everything that went wrong. I am a weak man, and I've succumbed to many things to achieve an easy life." Jon lifted his head and looked at the two women. "Both of you found love and compassion. I found emptiness in the flesh of women and the deceit of gambling. God forgive me, but I sold my soul to the devil out of weakness and fear."

 Comment Written 17-Sep-2021


reply by the author on 24-Sep-2021
    Thank you for reading, enjoying and for the review. I apologize for the short cut-and-paste response but it's all I can manage right now. Please know that I care.

    Hugs, Carol
Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante
Excellent
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This is a great chapter, Carol. I love how Mary gets to have her say with Jon, and cue the agents in, about Cynthia.

It's not easy for Faith, but she learns the truth here, about her father -- but without feeling the bitterness that Mary feels. Everyone is worried about Annie, of course.

If there were any errors, I was so focused on the content, that I didn't find them!

 Comment Written 09-Sep-2021


reply by the author on 09-Sep-2021
    I love to write these emotional parts even thought the story is about crime... These pieces are more heart and soul and they touch me deeper than the rest.

    Smiles, Carol
reply by Mary Kay Bonfante on 10-Sep-2021
    That's great, Carol, and knowing you, it doesn't surprise me! May God bless you every moment. Love, Mary Kay xoxo
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
Excellent
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I do believe that Father Jon finally sees the light. If there is to be any breakthrough in the kidnapping of Annie, I think it will come from him.
His sins have been laid before him and he owns them. He is now confronted with what his parents didn't want for him and he allowed them to maneuver.

Ralf

 Comment Written 08-Sep-2021


reply by the author on 10-Sep-2021
    Thank you as always....Of course I am way behind which isn't strange either. Smiles, Carol
Comment from Seshadri_Sreenivasan
Excellent
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Drama is unfolding. Jon's intentions are getting revealed. I wonder how Mary is going to handle the situation , as she has seen through the characters as can be surmised from the conversations.
Mary knew the truth before Jon made his unwelcome visit with Cynthia
Now ugly scenes may unfold to make things complicated. Good going!.

 Comment Written 08-Sep-2021


reply by the author on 10-Sep-2021
    Thanks for reading, enjoying and the kind compliments. I appreciate it very much.

    Smiles, Carol
Comment from robyn corum
Excellent
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Carol,

YES! I think Mary was right to begin with and that Jon still has a redeeming side. It may not be much but maybe it's enough to turn this horrible tide and get this little girl back and pull down this group of bad guys. We will see, won't we? Moving on!

 Comment Written 08-Sep-2021


reply by the author on 10-Sep-2021
    Thank you as always....Of course I am way behind which isn't strange either. Smiles, Carol
Comment from royowen
Excellent
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At last, Jon has been found out, but he genuinely sounds regretful, and would know enough about the goodness of God, to know God is the God of second chances, and Mary would definitely know that. You understand bitterness and hurt, but you also know the redeeming heart of God. Do something drastic dear girl, I'm sure you've concocted something, well done Carol, great episode, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 07-Sep-2021


reply by the author on 09-Sep-2021
    In the end, I understand that Jon is weak and even though he resented how his life was maneuvered by his parents, he allowed Mason to do it as well. Hopefully, from somewhere deep inside, he will stand up for what he believes in...I'm doing my best.

    Smiles, Carol
reply by royowen on 09-Sep-2021
    Yes, you are dear girl, this is a brilliant story.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Excellent
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Jon is a horrible man but I have a feeling he's about ready to come clean. I sure hope so, for Annie's sake. I want caution you to use strong verbs. A reviewer not on the sight any longer, David, used to kick my butt every time I used looked, because there are so many other words to use that describe it better. Make you story come alive with action.

She lifted her head to look directly at Mary. (I think this is stronger, She lifted her head and stared directly at Mary. )

Mary looked at Faith for a second before deciding to continue. (Again, stronger Mary studied Faith for a second, then continued, Even is you don't like it you need a comma after continued)

Sour stomach acids crept into her throat, and she swallowed hard, (period)

 Comment Written 07-Sep-2021


reply by the author on 07-Sep-2021
    Thanks, Barbara. I'm getting sloppy or maybe just lazy in my old age and I fail to use my vocabulary... of course, stronger is better. Keep shaking me up, girlfriend. I want to get this the best I can and you are always so kind when you tell me I goofed up. LOL

    I'll take care of that asap.

    Smiles, Carol
reply by barbara.wilkey on 07-Sep-2021
    You have a great story here.
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2021
    Thank you so much.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Excellent
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You are definitely on a roll with these heart wrenching chapters that just wear an old boy out. You don't even let us readers catch out breath. LOL. But it's all great writing and I wish I had a six for every chapter. Thanks for sharing. :-)

 Comment Written 07-Sep-2021


reply by the author on 07-Sep-2021
    LOL... not to worry. Give me a few chapters and I might throw gasoline and burn something down or shoot someone. You never know what I might do. Your kind words are worth more than a six.

    Smiles, Carol
reply by Ric Myworld on 07-Sep-2021
    I bet that's more true than you would ever admit (never knowing what you might do). Kind of like me. I hide behind my characters, making them be someone else in the intense or embarrassing parts. LOL. :-)
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Excellent
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That poor woman. That goodness Mary knew the truth before Jon made his unwelcome visit with Cynthia. The shock of seeing him and thinking he'd died would surely have killed her. Now Faith also knows there were two babies, she will want to know what happened to her twin. You are writing this perfectly as the truth unfolds, even though I want to fast forward to the twins meeting, it wouldn't be right. The inner workings of the plot have to come out as it would in real life. Superb chapter again, Carol, the emotions are incredibly true to life and I find myself holding my breath as I read down the page, willing it not to end. Well done, my friend! Your story deserves a six every time, I wish it were possible. Love and hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx

 Comment Written 07-Sep-2021


reply by the author on 07-Sep-2021
    I am blessed with your awesome words so stars don't matter. i am proud of this story and feel it is one of my best with far more emotional twists and turns as well. Thank as always.

    Congratulations on winning Book of the Month....I knew you would and I am so happy for you.

    Have a great day! Love you as always, Carol
reply by Sandra Stoner-Mitchell on 07-Sep-2021
    Thank you for the congrats, it was a huge surprise, I honestly thought you'd get it.
    You have every right to feel proud of this book, it is your best one, and it's just brilliant. As soon as I get up in the morning, I get my coffee and then check my messages to see if you have posted another chapter. I love it when you have. How do you do it so fast? You truly are a natural. Love you loads, too! xxx
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2021
    You deserve the accolades so enjoy them, my friend. My time will come if it is meant to be.

    Once I can get the beginning lines in a chapter (that's the difficult part for me) the story just seems to unfold as fast as I type. Almost as if someone is dictating to me. Then I go back and fill in spots and finally I run it through three edit software and still come up with mistakes. LOL Sometimes I feel the characters are living in me and I can feel how they would be reacting...wierd, huh?

    I've been rewriting my notes this morning for the rest of the story...filling in pieces I haven't thought of and a few changes. But I never know exactly how it will be until I am actually writing the chapter. I don't know if that's how others write, but it seems to work most of the time for me.... as long as I don't allow people to mess with my head.

    have a great day! Smiles and hugs
reply by Sandra Stoner-Mitchell on 07-Sep-2021
    I write in a similar way, I have no idea what will happen until the famous dead author sitting on MY shoulder tells my fingers what to write. Lol. Seriously, I think most authors know their storyline, but the details form as they write. Betrayal changed course many times whilst I was writing.
    I agree with you about not letting people mess with your head, they can do a lot of damage if you allow them to take over. You don't need people like that reading your work.
    Yes, you will be the winner of BoM, it comes to us all once people take to the book you're writing. You have a good following at the moment, and it will get bigger. Promise. It still amazes me that people like what I'm writing, it's a good feeling, but I get scared that the bubble will burst and every one will see my writing isn't that good. I guess everyone has doubts at some stage. You keep doing what you're doing, it's certainly working! Love you lots, will do always. xxxx
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2021
    I was telling Matthew yesterday how you have become my backbone and though you have been published many times, you still think I am good at what I do. Thank you!
reply by Sandra Stoner-Mitchell on 07-Sep-2021
    Just keep that in mind when someone says differently. You are a talented author, and jealousy can make people try to put you down. Don't ever let them do that. xxx
Comment from karenina
Excellent
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Ah, this is the reaction I'd been anticipating!
I whooped when Mary slapped that sorry excuse for a priest! He may well be reeling. Realizing too late how many opportunities along the way he had to make it right...and choosing what was best for him every time!
I assume he didn't quite register the mention of "twins" in the heat of the moment? Knowing you, next chapter will begin with his realization!!!! More dramatic reveals! I believe he is contrite. It's a long hard slog to redemption! Faith seems to want Mary to forgive him....

Superbly written!

Karenina

 Comment Written 07-Sep-2021


reply by the author on 07-Sep-2021
    I think for Faith the realization that her life proves we only have a short time on this earth and he is her father has emotionally taken a big spot in her heart. Having heard Mary talk of their "love" and the devastation she felt at the time of hid "death". she may believe Mary could regain some of that....(OH NO!) I wanted to include the twins but I didn't want to take away from the heat of the moment... it was a struggle to decide how to approach it.

    And yes, I definitely wanted Mary to slug him instead of slap him ...LOL But the focus needs to be on Annie now and the rest will have to play second fiddle.

    Thank you so much for all the support.
    Smiles and hugs, Carol
reply by karenina on 07-Sep-2021
    Another thing I love about your writing... You think and rethink the emotions that would be whirling about in your characters hearts and minds! Faith would want some peace...would certainly, at this time in her life, like to see the father she never knew NOT as a villain but as a misguided soul who was truly sorry. Maybe she's right... Still YAY for Mary for slapping him but good!

    Karenina