The Prodigy Classical Composer
Horror and thriller story.3 total reviews
Comment from writer723
I really enjoyed your spooky and creepy tale. It fits the Halloween theme perfectly in my opinion. I found myself instantly drawn in and on the edge of my seat. You skillfully wove this tale together with cleverness and perfect pacing. Thank you for providing such an intriguing read.
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2021
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I really enjoyed your spooky and creepy tale. It fits the Halloween theme perfectly in my opinion. I found myself instantly drawn in and on the edge of my seat. You skillfully wove this tale together with cleverness and perfect pacing. Thank you for providing such an intriguing read.
Comment Written 06-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2021
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Thank you and you're welcome!
Comment from Eternal Muse
Yes, there are geniuses who make their name at a childhood age. Mozart was one of them.
Thank you for introducing us to Henry Pollack. His life was short but memorable. I have to read more about him.
Excellent imagery, visuals and presentation. This should do well in the contest, good luck in the booths.
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2021
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Yes, there are geniuses who make their name at a childhood age. Mozart was one of them.
Thank you for introducing us to Henry Pollack. His life was short but memorable. I have to read more about him.
Excellent imagery, visuals and presentation. This should do well in the contest, good luck in the booths.
Comment Written 05-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2021
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Thank you! You have made my day! :)
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
You've got the makings for a gripping story if you give a few tweaks to convey how the audience knew he was a ghost. Include the details of his appearance that made it apparent. Also--use consistent tense--present would have max impact.
sugg:
The audience in the Apollo Theater [was=IS] seated and [waited=WAITS] for Henry Pollack, a six-year-old child prodigy who's the best classical pianist of the decade. Henry [walked=>WALKS] on stage, and the audience [was=>IS] stunned
[because he's a ghost=>(semicolon) THEY CAN SEE THOUGH HIM!].
He=>HENRY'S GHOST played Mozart's, Marriage of Figaro, and Don Giovanni.
TO KEEP WORD COUNT UNDER 50,
SUGG OMIT: They're shocked. Gasp! (it's obvious)
That's why I advised you to remove the last three words. I see you did so. Your word count is now at 48. So you can do as I suggested. I think it will strengthen the story to describe his appearance--otherwise, what would make them think he's a ghost? I reproduced what you wrote below and indicate my changes in CAPS just to make them stand out. It is 49 words.
The audience in the Apollo Theater is seated and waits for Henry Pollack, a six-year-old child prodigy who's the best classical pianist of the decade. Henry walks on stage, and the audience is stunned; THEY CAN SEE THROUGH HIIM! HENRY'S GHOST plays MOZART, Marriage of Figaro, and Don Giovanni.
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2021
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You've got the makings for a gripping story if you give a few tweaks to convey how the audience knew he was a ghost. Include the details of his appearance that made it apparent. Also--use consistent tense--present would have max impact.
sugg:
The audience in the Apollo Theater [was=IS] seated and [waited=WAITS] for Henry Pollack, a six-year-old child prodigy who's the best classical pianist of the decade. Henry [walked=>WALKS] on stage, and the audience [was=>IS] stunned
[because he's a ghost=>(semicolon) THEY CAN SEE THOUGH HIM!].
He=>HENRY'S GHOST played Mozart's, Marriage of Figaro, and Don Giovanni.
TO KEEP WORD COUNT UNDER 50,
SUGG OMIT: They're shocked. Gasp! (it's obvious)
That's why I advised you to remove the last three words. I see you did so. Your word count is now at 48. So you can do as I suggested. I think it will strengthen the story to describe his appearance--otherwise, what would make them think he's a ghost? I reproduced what you wrote below and indicate my changes in CAPS just to make them stand out. It is 49 words.
The audience in the Apollo Theater is seated and waits for Henry Pollack, a six-year-old child prodigy who's the best classical pianist of the decade. Henry walks on stage, and the audience is stunned; THEY CAN SEE THROUGH HIIM! HENRY'S GHOST plays MOZART, Marriage of Figaro, and Don Giovanni.
Comment Written 05-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2021
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Thank you! I have fixed the mistakes. Thanks for your help! Is it better? I can't put: they can see through him, because it gives me 53 more words.
