Moving Mountains
flash kidnapped story20 total reviews
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
I seem to have fallen asleep and missed a lot of what has been going on. And what a wonderful thing to (nearly) miss. It is a great story in so few words, and it has already received it's just deserts! exquisite concision is all I have to add.
I seem to have fallen asleep and missed a lot of what has been going on. And what a wonderful thing to (nearly) miss. It is a great story in so few words, and it has already received it's just deserts! exquisite concision is all I have to add.
Comment Written 07-Nov-2021
Comment from Liz O'Neill
This was excellent. You kept the reader in suspense with no foreshadowing clues to qwell the anxiety. We were sitting, blind, to the goings-on around us. I do not care for practical jokes. I would be angry at my 'friends' if I were Gil. This would be a good topic of discussion. This is an A+ level of work.
This was excellent. You kept the reader in suspense with no foreshadowing clues to qwell the anxiety. We were sitting, blind, to the goings-on around us. I do not care for practical jokes. I would be angry at my 'friends' if I were Gil. This would be a good topic of discussion. This is an A+ level of work.
Comment Written 09-Sep-2021
Comment from Bill Schott
This kidnapped story, Moving Mountains, is the best kind of kidnapping, where everyone smiles at the end and gets drunk. I always thought this phrase was the opposite, but there is no research to back me up.
This kidnapped story, Moving Mountains, is the best kind of kidnapping, where everyone smiles at the end and gets drunk. I always thought this phrase was the opposite, but there is no research to back me up.
Comment Written 08-Sep-2021
Comment from karenina
Alrighty then! Party time! Gotta admit you had me at full throttle heading for a grizzly scene... A masterful misdirection! Cheers to the author! (Whoever you are!)
Sadly he's still destined for torture....he's getting married!
(Just kidding! -- kinda)
I wanted to be review 17--- kick this onto Recognized Status!
:)
Karenina
Alrighty then! Party time! Gotta admit you had me at full throttle heading for a grizzly scene... A masterful misdirection! Cheers to the author! (Whoever you are!)
Sadly he's still destined for torture....he's getting married!
(Just kidding! -- kinda)
I wanted to be review 17--- kick this onto Recognized Status!
:)
Karenina
Comment Written 08-Sep-2021
Comment from Wendy G
This is a clever story, as we are led to expect the worst possible outcome. Only to find it's a bachelor party. You have written it well, maintaining the interest throughout. Good wishes for your entry in the contest.
Wendy
This is a clever story, as we are led to expect the worst possible outcome. Only to find it's a bachelor party. You have written it well, maintaining the interest throughout. Good wishes for your entry in the contest.
Wendy
Comment Written 07-Sep-2021
Comment from Midi O'Rourke
This is excellent. I didn't see the end coming at all. You painted a picture of a confused kidnapped man in a, what I assumed, to be a wretched little room where people get tortured and shot. I think this sentence is awkward. It confuses me: He spun around to come face-to-face with his best man, Conor, grin splitting his in two.
Grin splitting hi what in two..Maybe rephrase and cut it into two sentences.
This is excellent. I didn't see the end coming at all. You painted a picture of a confused kidnapped man in a, what I assumed, to be a wretched little room where people get tortured and shot. I think this sentence is awkward. It confuses me: He spun around to come face-to-face with his best man, Conor, grin splitting his in two.
Grin splitting hi what in two..Maybe rephrase and cut it into two sentences.
Comment Written 06-Sep-2021
Comment from Judy Lawless
Magnificent writing! I didn't really want to read about an horrific outcome to this kidnapping, so I'm thrilled that it was a practical joke by a group of friends. Some bachelor party! Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2021
Magnificent writing! I didn't really want to read about an horrific outcome to this kidnapping, so I'm thrilled that it was a practical joke by a group of friends. Some bachelor party! Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 05-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2021
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Many thanks for the great response to this piece.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Ha ha ha, these stag nights can get a little out of hand as this one did here, a punishment for agreeing to wed, one last night of freedom before these guys are kidnapped and shackled for life, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2021
Ha ha ha, these stag nights can get a little out of hand as this one did here, a punishment for agreeing to wed, one last night of freedom before these guys are kidnapped and shackled for life, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
Comment Written 04-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2021
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Thank you for the review.
Comment from LJbutterfly
This story is compelling and filled with mystery throughout. It started with creatively dark imagery and has a delightful and humorous ending. Your picture is stunning and pairs perfectly with the story. Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2021
This story is compelling and filled with mystery throughout. It started with creatively dark imagery and has a delightful and humorous ending. Your picture is stunning and pairs perfectly with the story. Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2021
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Many thanks for reading this one.
Comment from Sherry Asbury
Great story - not at all what I expected. You did a great job with mystery and suspense! I was sure we were in for blood and guts spilling - or worse. Very good - most excellent, my friend.
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2021
Great story - not at all what I expected. You did a great job with mystery and suspense! I was sure we were in for blood and guts spilling - or worse. Very good - most excellent, my friend.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2021
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Thank you very much for the review.